Spin

Twenty

[FINN]

People are strange

When you're a stranger

Faces look ugly

When you're alone

I stepped out of the private car, doing my best to protect the gift bag and bouquet in my hands from the pelting rain. The Doors were blaring in my ears, setting the scene as I followed the familiar stone path up towards the front stairs. Though London's less-than-warm welcome felt like a comforting embrace, I couldn't help but think, fuck. I need a cigarette.

It felt like I had concrete blocks for feet as I climbed the couple of steps to reach the safety of the overhang, lazily knocking my knuckles against the black front door.

Julie opened the door with a soft smile and I immediately felt guiltier, the weight on my shoulders that much heavier. I quickly shifted things around, freeing my right hand so I could pull my earbuds out.

"Sorry I'm late, nodded off. Happy Birthday."

"Fashionably late, love. Come in, come in, it's quite brisk."

I did as I was told, stepping into the familiar foyer as Julie shut the door behind me. Though the memories locked within the four walls always brought about mixed feelings, I couldn't deny the warmth simply being home stirred up in my chest.

"Here, let me take that so you can get your wet coat off, you'll make yourself sick," Julie fussed as I did as I was told, knowing not to fight with a mom. She was beaming as I passed her the gift bag and bouquet, slipping my jacket off and hanging it on the rack. "Mums. You always remember."

"It's easy when you've got the same name."

"Ah, shoes off."

I obliged, kicking my sneakers off neatly to the side and following her into the kitchen. The lighting was warm and it smelled like roast. I smiled, leaning my elbows on the counter and watching her find a vase for the flowers.

"You've no idea how disappointed Oli is that he isn't here to see you."

"Reckon I do. Feeling is mutual. Is he enjoying camp?"

"He is. I'm a bit surprised, you know Ols," she hummed, trimming the stems over the bin. "He's a lot like you were, reserved. But he seems to be coming out of his shell, he's having a lot of fun."

"Glad to hear it."

"You can call him, you know. We sent him off with an emergency cell so he can check in before bed. He'd be so excited to hear from you."

I chewed on my cheek, knowing better than to voice what I was thinking. I've not got time to worry about one more thing to squeeze in.

"Yeah, I'll try."

"Look what the cat dragged in."

I glanced up, returning my flesh-and-blood's polite smile. Dad walked over, giving me the usual awkward, somewhat rough pat on the back before complimenting Julie's cooking. I quietly watched the two of them interact, wishing more than anything Rory was in her usual spot, perched in the bar stool to my right with a glass of wine.

"Finn, would you like a beer?"

As if she could read my mind, Julie was giving me a soft smile. I nodded, meeting her in the middle and walking over as she opened the fridge. Dad stepped to the side, pouring himself a glass of red.

"You've lost weight, mate. Looking a bit small."

"Yeah. They've got me on Weight Watchers."

"Yeah?"