The Final Vow

Chapter 4

Once I tucked the girls into bed, I couldn't help but wonder what danger they were in now. I thought about how peaceful the last two years have been, and how stable and content our lives were. I started to quietly exit the room when Leah stopped me. "Mom?" I turned back around and took a seat on the edge of her bed. "Yeah?"

"Are we going to be okay?" She whispered. I could see it on her face. She was reliving the nightmare of Antonio. "We're going to be fine. Daddy is going to take care of us." I started to tuck her back into bed, but she stopped me. "You said we would be okay last time." Her eyes were dark with memories of our past. I couldn't believe she remembered it all. I hated that she did. I never meant for any of that to stay with her. "Leah, what all do you remember?" 

"I remember Alexa hates me. I remember Uncle Toni, taking me out on his boat, and I remember the lady throwing you off the boat." Leah's eyes filled with tears at the memory of it. She was scared. I wanted so badly to tell her it would never happen again but I don't know if that's true anymore, and I don't want to comfort her with lies. "I'm sorry I cried. I didn't want to leave Dad. I didn't want Alexa to hurt him. And I want us all to stay together." I felt my heart shatter again. It's exactly what I wanted as well. All of us to stay together, and be safe. "Leah, I want you to know that the job Daddy has isn't easy. It can be dangerous sometimes. If you ever feel like you need to cry then cry, baby. I know it's scary. I want you to always remember you and your sisters are the most important thing to me and Daddy." I tried to comfort her, but it wasn't easy, if I told her the truth, about everything, it would ruin her childhood. "You'll never understand how much I truly love you, Leah. I'd do anything to keep you safe." I leaned forward and placed a kiss on her head. "I love you too, Momma." I slowly tucked her in, before exiting the room. I needed to figure out how to sit her down and have a real talk with her about the kind of life we live. If she's going to get through all this she needs to understand who she is, and who her Dad is. The stress from today was finally taking its toll on me. I needed air, so I hurried out back and down to the beach.

I sat down and pushed my feet, burrying them under the sand. I wiggled my toes letting the cold sand slide between them. I listened as the waves swayed lightly and inhaled the intoxicating coastal air. A small thump hit the ground next to me. I looked over to see shoes sitting next to me. Robbie's shoes. "You needed some air too?" He flopped down next to me drinking his favorite bourbon straight from the bottle. "I don't know what to think or say Robbie." He offered me the bottle of bourbon. I took it, and quickly sipped from it. "I don't think any of us do."

"I froze Rob, I looked like a deer in headlights. I couldn't even think straight long enough to calm my daughter. It wasn't like me." 

"It was a traumatic situation, Lana. It was your wedding day, you were happy and excited, you didn't know something like this would happen today of all days. No one imagines that." 

"Still, it's motherly instinct to get your children, and help them. I just sat there." 

"That doesn't matter Lana. You got them and you got them out. No one was prepared for Leah's meltdown either. It took us all by suprise." 

"I've never seen her like that, Robbie." I thought back to Leah completely panicked, and fighting us. 

"She's getting older, she's almost eight. This stuff seems ten times scarier the older you are, she's understanding what's going on this time. I don't think she fully understood what was happening then, until today, I think maybe seeing it again, made it...I don't click?" Robbie's theory made sense. Leah was hung up on Alexa, and seeing her again. It must've brought back all the memories of our past. Maybe even memories, of our life together without Luca. 

"I think you're right. Luca and I are eventually going to have to sit her down and talk to her about it all. There's no reason to try and sugar coat things anymore. Like you said, she's older." I think part of me hasn't talked to her already, because I wanted her to stay little. I didn't want her to grow up so quickly. Within two years she's matured and blossomed into this amazing young lady and she suprises me eeryday. "So, did you really talk to Luca about taking Delilah off duty?" I decided to change the subject. "Does that make me a bad guy?" 

"Stupid? Maybe, bad? no. The worst thing you can possibly do to a pregnant woman is make decisions for her. We already have to be told what to do by the baby. Pee now, poop never, eat this, throw up that. Being pregnant is having no control over your own body anymore. You should've just talked to her and let her consider it for herself. You didn't give her the opportunity to make the decision for herself." 

"She would've kept working, you know that."

"Luca wouldn't have let her, and at the end of the day you're supposed to support her, and be on her side. I'm sure it felt awful for her to know you were siding with someone else." 

"So Luca can make decisions for her, but not me?" Robbie took another long sip from the bottle.

"Luca is her boss, you're her husband." 

"How am I supposed to be a good father, if I can't even be a good husband." He sighed with exhaustion. I've never seen Robbie look so defeated. 

"I don't think there's a perfect marriage out there Robbie. As long as you're trying, and as long as you truly love her, I think you're doing great. I know you'll be an amazing father." I rested my head on his shoulder, in an attempt to comfort him. "I'm sorry you didn't get to marry him today, Lana." For some reason, just hearing that, it broke something inside me. I felt my chest cave in, and tears quickly fell before I could stop them. Robbie hurried to wrap his arms around me. I guess I hadn't let myself be disappointed until now. Maybe I did want that fairy tale wedding. I kept thinking everything was a little extravvagant and maybe too much. But I was wrong. It was perfect. And it was supposed to be the best day of my life, apart from the birth of my children. "I'm sorry Rob, I guss I was just in shock, and haven't had time to really process it." I quickly wiped at my eyes.  

"You have nothing to apologize for." Luca's voice startled us both. We quickly turned to see him standing behind us. "Robbie, can I have a moment alone with Lana?" 

"Yeah, I better go patch things up with Delilah." Robbie quickly stood, and Luca took his spot next to me. 

"Baby, I'm so sorry." Luca wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I hurried to pull myself together. I hated cry, and I hated the headaches that come with it. "I was so ready to say I do, Luca." I admitted. 

"I was too. You looked stunning coming down that aisle. It was better than I ever could've imagined or dreamed of."

"We've waited for so long, and it was finally here. It was finally happening. Why did she wait so long before coming? How did she even know about the wedding?" I rambled on thinking outloud. 

"I have no idea, but I'm going to find out, I swear. I just feel like this is all on me. If I were anyone else you wouldn't be going through this."

"I wouldn't want anyone else. I want you Luca."

"You know what I mean. At the end of the day, it's my fault. It's on me, and who I am." Luca has always struggled with this life. The mafia, and being compared to his father. 

"No, that's not true. When it comes to Alexa, that's on me. After everything I did to her." I snuggled up closer to him, just wanting to hold him and comfort him. It felt like everything in the world was trying to keep us apart. Every time we're happy, things go wrong. At least this time, we're really on the same page. This time, we're truly in this together.