Love Is Worth Waiting For

Chapter 7

I woke up at 11 a.m. to Max knocking on my door. "Come in," I say. "Morning El did you order something?" Max asks. "No, I didn't why?" I ask. "Someone must have sent you something then" he says placing a large box on my bed. "Oh, I wonder who sent it," I say. "There's only one way to find out and that's to open it," he says. "Yeah," I say. I watch as he leaves my room and closes the door. I open the box. It had a plain black hoodie, aftershave and a note in it. Wait I swear this is the aftershave Matt uses. Hmm, strange. I read the note.

To El

Hey. Here's my hoodie and my aftershave so you can make the hoodie smell like me. I hope you found my ring. You better wear it.

-Matt

So it was the aftershave Matt used. I grab the hoodie and spray it. I then get changed before putting it on. I grab Matt's ring putting it on my ring finger on my right hand. I then put the box in the bin and the note in a drawer. I guess I'll have to pretend idk who it's from. I feel like Max wouldn't care but I don't want to risk it. But why would Matt want me to have this? I sigh. I guess he will tell me eventually.

Later.

I was just lying on my bed staring at my ceiling. Max already knew the gift was from Matt. So I didn't have to worry about him judging either of us. I sigh. I wanted to call Matt but I knew he was busy. I guess I have to pretend I'm okay with barely talking to him. I then thought about Jaren. What do I do with his hoodie?

...

"I'm sorry I just wanna be friends" Jaren said.

...

"I want my hoodie back," he said.

...

I thought that would have hurt but it didn't. I guess I was in love with his looks rather than him. I wrap up his hoodie and send it off to his house. I guess I can't tell what true love is. Nevermind.

...

I was just sitting in my gaming chair when I got invited to a DC call. I joined it. "Hey, El" I hear Matt say. "Hey," I say. It had been about 2 weeks since I last spoke to him. "So what are we playing?" Nelson asks. "Gta?" Chris asks. "I'm down," Jaren says. I'm so glad Jaren and I are okay. I guess Matt and I are okay too. Well of course we are. I'm sitting here in his hoodie while wearing his ring. As soon as I load in I shoot Matt. "NAH WHO'S SHOOTING ME" Matt yells. "I have no idea," I say laughing. "That's not suspicious at all," Nelson says. "Ah yeah It's not the person pointing a gun at Matt" Chris says. I shoot Matt again. "EL I WILL SHOOT YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP" Matt yells. I hear everyone laugh. I smile. It was nice to be playing together again.

Later.

I had just left the DC call and I was now just sitting in my gaming chair. I sigh. I soon had an incoming call from Matt. Matt was calling me. To make things worse it was a FaceTime call. I answer. "Hey. Glad you're wearing my hoodie" he says. I smile. "Oh and my ring," he says. I sigh. "Are you okay?" he asks. "I'm fine," I say. "I know you. What's up?" he asks. I sigh. "You think you know me. But you don't" I say. "But-" I interrupted him by saying "So listen to me". I sigh. "You don't know me" I say taking off his hoodie and his ring. "There's so much more to me than what you think you see. So listen to me," I say. "El-" I interrupt him by saying "Just listen to me". "I'm dangerous. I'm warning you," I say. He sighs. "But you're not afraid of me," I say. I grab my lighter. "You don't know me," I say. He sighs. I begin to burn my skin. "And the pain feels okay it feels okay" I say. I held up the lighter holding it up to the hoodie. "I'm dangerous. I'm warning you," I say. I begin to burn the hoodie. "But you not afraid of me," I say. I hear him sigh. "But I think you know me," I say. I sigh. I throw away the hoodie before sitting in my gaming chair. I stare at Matt's ring. What was the point of having his hoodie and ring? He's taken. So why do I give a fuck? I sigh. "El what the fuck is wrong with you. You're acting like a psycho" he says. "Maybe I am," I say before ending the call. I grab Matt's ring and my phone before making my way downstairs. "El Where are you going?" Max asks. "Just to see Matt," I say. "Okay," he says. I wasn't lying. I was going to Matt's house. But I wasn't going to see Matt. I was going to give him his ring and leave.

Later.

I had just arrived at Matt's when j realised his house didn't have a letter box. Shit. I'm going to have to speak to him. I sigh. I knock on the door and wait for him to open it. I watch as the door opens and Matt stares at me. I hand him his ring and turn to walk away. But before I could leave he grabbed my wrist. Show me your arm. I turn around and pull up both of my sleeves to reveal the burn marks that covered the lower part of my left arm. "Fuck" he whispers before dragging me into his house. I sigh. "El why did you do this?" he asks. "Because I love someone and they have a girlfriend. I hate being in love so I harm myself to get through it. I burnt your hoodie out of anger and a way to cope. But nothing works. I just don't-" he interrupted me by hugging me. I sigh. I hug him back. I began to cry. "It's okay I'm here now," he says calmly. I sigh hugging him tighter. I guess I have no reason to be annoyed or angry. I just have to deal with the fact ill never be the one he loves.