Sheo Oneshots

What's Left of Me

Oneshot: What's Left of Me

>>~~~~~~~~<<

The storm outside is raging. It's weird how when I look out of the big windows in my living room I feel like I'm looking at my own mood; all grey, dark and sad.

It has now been a week since my beloved grandma passed away after a long fight against cancer. I haven't allowed myself to relax or feel sorry for myself yet. Not until now at least.

I've been working my ass off to finish Allegiant part 2 until we wrapped up yesterday night. It feels weird that we're done with this franchise already, it has opened so many new doors for me and I sure have had the time of my life while being on set with all those amazing people.

But now we're done, and it feels like the grief, that I should probably have felt a week ago, has now creeped up on me, like it's taken a week for my body to realize that she is gone.

The grief hit me like a truck as soon as I last night came home after filming the last scene. And I mean literally in the moment I closed the door behind me, everything inside of me collapsed.

Now I've finished The Divergent series and I've allowed myself to feel sorry for myself and not do a thing the next few days.

The weight that's been hanging on my shoulders the last week is gone now when I've cried it all out. And it feels both nice and horrible at the same time.

<<>>

When I get up in the morning my body feels like my soul left it and there is an empty hole in my stomach where my grandma used to be.

My eyes are still red and my hair is a mess from the tossing and turning I've been doing throughout the night as I couldn't sleep.

When I've taken a shower I feel a little more human and I dress in sweatpants and a big sweater that belongs to Theo.

I enjoy wearing his clothes, I love it when I'm surrounded by his unique, manly scent and I don't know how much we will be seeing each other in the future since we're now done with the movies. He has his life in England and I have my life here in the States.

It's when I've just finished a very modest lunch, consisting of a French toast, since if I ate more it would probably come back up due to how tense my stomach feels, that the doorbells rings.

I get up from the couch to open up, taking a look at myself in the mirror in the hallway to consider if I look so bad I should just act like I'm not home.

My hair is still a little messy since I've been lying on the couch the entire day and my eyes are red and puffy, clearly showing how I've been crying multiple times during the day.

My looks are really bad, but I decide that if someone showed up at my door they should also be ready to see how I can look like a mess on a bad day like every other human being.

Just because I'm eventually an actress and known worldwide it doesn't mean that I can't be vulnerable or look like a monster.

When I open the door I don't know if I get surprised or what because something in my stomach turns, in a good way I think, and a sad smile finds its way to my pale lips, because there stands Theo in the pouring rain, under a green umbrella, with a plastic bag and a bunch of pink and white flowers in his hands.

His eyes tell exactly why he is here; because he feels sorry for me and wants me to feel better.

He sighs in pity while looking at me, "look at you, you poor thing." His British accent is thick and it makes something inside of me turn again.