Dream's dream (Morpheus fanfic)

Chapter 6. Waking nightmare

~Dream's pov~

I pace back and forth again, anxious for her arrival just like the night before.
"She should have been here." I say impatiently as I clench my jaw in frustration.
"Give her some time Morpheus. Maybe she's struggling to fall asleep." Lucienne tries to reason.
I shake my head.
"No, she should be asleep by now." With every word leaving my mouth I grow increasingly worried.
"You do not think she..." I stop myself.
"Oh Lucienne. Why did I behave this way towards her. She doesn't deserve that."
I hang my head and burry it in my hands as I go to sit down on one of the chairs.
"Lord, if I may be so honest. What you did was unjustified. She thinks she did something wrong. You hurt her." She says.
I slam my fist on the table.
"No, you may not be so honest. Don't forget who you are speaking to Lucienne." I snarl.
I get up and walk away, not listening to her apologies.

"Dream? Back so soon?" Death asks casually.
"Please tell me you didn't take her." I plead.
"What? Dream what happened?" She asks.
I sit down on the park bench next to my sister and once again hide my face behind my hands.
"I made a mistake Death." I admit.
I can feel her eyes on me, waiting for me to continue.
"I was horrible to her. I acted cold and made her feel unwelcome. I wanted to keep a distance between us but now I realise how foolish that was."
"Why did you want distance?" She asks worriedly. She puts a hand on my shoulder in reassurance.
"I feel so powerless around her, it frightens me. It feels like I cannot breathe when she is near. And when she isn't I find myself waiting for her. It is as if the whole universe revolves around her, from the very first time I had laid eyes on her. I am Dream of the Endless, I cannot be consumed by feelings like this. Only humans can afford to feel." I say truthfully.
"Oh my stupid little brother." She chuckles.
"We might not be human but we are still allowed emotion. Don't think too big of yourself." She winks and smirks at me.
"What you described Morpheus, is called love. You are in love with her and it is beautiful. Don't let it destroy you, instead let it make you become more powerful.
Tell me, is there anything you wouldn't do for her?" She asks.
I think about her question for a moment, perhaps wanting to make up a lie but I decide against it.
"No. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her." I admit.
"Then what are you doing? Stop pushing her away you idiot! It is scary and it will hurt sometimes but love is the most beautifu, powerful thing in the universe. Nothing would exist without love, not even us. Let it fuel you." She smiles warmly.
"I fear it might be too late." I sigh.
"It is never too late Dream."
"So you haven't taken her?" I ask, looking up at Death with hope.
She shakes her head.
"I haven't."
"Will you warn me when she calls upon you?" I ask desperately.
"Morpheus..." She starts but I interrupt her.
"Please sister. I will not ask you for anything more but to simply tell me when her time has come."
I look at her with a pleading expression.
"Fine. I will." She finally says and I let out a breath.

I find myself in her bedroom, feeling like an intruder.
I had to make sure she was alright, I simply had to.
I stand there like a statue, afraid that any movement might wake her.
I watch her as her chest slowly rises and falls.
She looks so peaceful.
But if she is asleep why is she not in the Dreaming?
My eyes wander to her nightstand before they fall on the small box.
The medication. She told me about the pills she used to take to fall asleep that wouldn't allow her to dream.
A shooting pain went right through my heart.
She didn't want to be near me.
My face falls, my eyebrows knit together and my eyes become glassy.
What have I done?

~Y/n's pov~

Days go by all the same.
I wake up, not having dreamt and still as tired as I was the night before.
I go to work and go back home only to repeat it all the next day.
I feel like a zombie, working on autopilot and never really there.
Every night before I go to sleep I hesitate before swallowing the pill.
I miss him, I can't deny that but he doesn't want me there, he broke my heart.
He made his decision and now I'm making mine.
All day my mind keeps torturing me with the image of him.
I feel like he is watching me, as if he is always in the corner of my eye.
When I turn to see him he isn't there but I can sense him.
When I fall asleep at night I feel like he is standing right there, watching over me.
I want to feel scared and violated, as if he is just a stalker overstepping multiple boundaries.
But no matter how hard I fight it all I feel is a feeling of safety washing over me when I feel he's close by.
Today was no different, I keep seeing him in the corner of my vision but he disappears every time I turn to face him.
My shift ends and I go to my locker to grab my bag as usual.
I check my messages and find them blank, as usual.
I had a late shift again today so by the time I make my way outside to start my journey home the sky is dark and the street is only illuminated by a few streetlights.
It has been over a week since I had been to the Dreaming.
Every day that passes I feel more and more detached from this world.
I have sat there with the razor blade held against my arm, feeling the cold metal to my skin but I can never bring myself to do it.
I had made a promise, even if he wasn't in my life anymore.
Dream had granted me a clean slate and I will forever be grateful to him for that.
I had also went up to the roof of my building and sat on the edge, my feet dangling.
I looked down the many stories, seeing tiny people walk past at the bottom as if they weren't even real.
I knew a fall from that high would kill me, and I wanted to die, right?
Maybe that wasn't completely true, it never was.
All I ever wanted was to be happy. I didn't want to die and I didn't want to live this life anymore. Against all odds I found a place exactly in between, and I was happy.
For the first time in my life I was happy.
But he took it all away again as quickly as he gave it to me.
I had closed my eyes and let the tears fall down my face, knowing that all I had to do was slip off the edge.
But for some reason I never could.
It was as if I could feel him, he was right there standing behind me and holding onto me as if begging me not to jump.
I almost felt his arms wrapped tightly around me and heard him whispering in my ear.
"Please my darling. Please don't leave me."
But I knew it couldn't be true, he simply couldn't be there.

Lost in thought I never realised I had entered the dark alley I normally avoid, afraid of the questionable types that always hang around there.
I get pulled out of my thoughts when someone starts walking towards me in the middle of the alley, blocking my way.
I slow down my pace and come to a halt, staying silent as if I was waiting for him to speak.
His hair is short and greasy and his exposed arms are covered in tattoos.
He smiles at me disgustingly, making me feel sick to my stomach.
Suddenly I hear footsteps from behind me and when I turn to face them I'm met with someone I assume to be the other guy's friend.
His hair is longer and slicked back but just as greasy as the other guy's.
He's wearing a white tank top that is barely still white, covered in stains and dirt.
"What is a pretty girl like you doing walking alone at this time of night?" He asks and I hear his friend snicker from behind me.
They both step closer, making me feel even more enclosed.
Fear rises in my throat and I feel like I'm going to vomit.
"Please don't hurt me." I mumble.
Both of them start laughing sinisterly.
I swallow, trying to drown the feeling that this is it, I will finally die.
But I didn't want it to be like this, I didn't want it to hurt.
Tears start prickling in my eyes but I try to control them, not wanting to show them how scared I am.
"We won't hurt you if you just do as we say." One of them says.
"I can't promise that." The other chuckles disgustingly.
The one with the tank top steps even closer, making me able to smell the alcohol in his breath.
He reaches his arm out to me and caresses my cheek.
I remember the feeling of when Dream had done the exact same thing, only this time instead of making me feel safe it made me feel filthy.
"You are just gorgeous." He whispers close to my ear, making me cringe.
"Let me taste you." He hums before dipping his head down in an attempt to connect his chapped lips to mine.
I can taste the alcohol on him and it makes me sick.
I immediately turn my head and push him off of me but his friend grabs my arms, making me unable to escape.
He pushes me into the wall and grabs my jaw aggressively, smacking my head against the bricks in the process.
A sharp pain shoots through the back of my head on impact.
"You think you're too good for us? Huh? Is it because you're wearing these fancy clothes?" He asks gesturing towards my outfit.
I never considered myself or my clothing style fancy. I'm simply wearing a plaid, mid-length skirt and a white top with a small turtleneck and a black jacket on top.
I wince as he digs his nails into the skin on my face.
He presses his face against my cheek and inhales.
"You smell as good as you taste." He growls.
My stomach twists in knots as my mind comes up with a million possible ways this can play out, none of them ending well for me.
This can't be happening.
The guy with the tank top starts pushing himself up against me forcing a whimper out of me I was trying so hard to conceal.
My eyes meet his and I see how the sound escaping my mouth makes his eyes go dark.
His hand moves from my jaw to my throat and he squeezes.
I feel all the air get drained out of my lungs and I struggle to breathe in again.
At the same time his friend rips off my jacket and starts fumbling with the hem of my skirt.
A few tears escape my eyes as I gasp for air.
My hands find the face of the guy who's hand is around my throat and I start scratching, fighting for him to get off me.
Suddenly I feel his fist come down on my stomach.
I bend over in pain as he lets go of my throat but I am still unable to breathe.
My face scrunches up in pain but before I can register everything I get grabbed by my hair.
They pull my head back up, rekindling the still present throbbing in the back of my head from earlier.
Another blow, this time straight across my jaw.
I taste iron and realise my lip must be bleeding.
I let out a sob as they forcefully press me up against the wall again.
I catch their eyes again as they both look at me like a captured prey. They stare at me with anger and lust and I now fully realise that I will never get out of this alive.
My mind only goes to one place, to one person.
I fill up my lungs with as much air as I possibly can before I scream.
"Dream!"