Beholder

Chapter 18.

BEHOLDER.
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CHAPTER 18.
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NOKWANDA.
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So I have always watched movies where this scene happens. The girl in an oversized white shirt whilst she checked out her man who was busy making some food for her and I am going to be totally honest. I never for once ever thought that I would be the girl in the shirt though mine is not white but I still had on Jason's shirt and and the way it fitted my frame so perfectly was one of the things that kept convincing me how me and him were meant to be. I couldn't really picture myself with another man but this white man.

"I wonder what you're thinking about over there?" His voice brought me back to reality but all I did was give him this huge smile. "I'm just thinking how lucky I am to have actually found you." I don't know why I chose to be this brutally honest but it was too late for me to take back my words. He stopped looking at the pots and stared at me.

"I am the lucky one Kwah. You don't know what having you means to me." He smiled and I saw a glint of sadness in his eyes like he was scared of something. He probably was thinking I am going to leave him for Vusi but if only he knew that I would never do that. "Do you need some help?" I asked walking over to him. He nodded and handed me the potatoes. "You're gonna make mash potatoes. Austin and Greg said they are going to drop by, Hope you don't mind."

"No,I don't mind." How could I mind,this was his house and of course his male friends are amazing people so of course I don't mind them coming around when I am here.

"I should probably change in more appropriate clothing." I chuckled as I walked over to the sink so I can rinse the potatoes. "Not yet. I love watching your body." He smirked, his eyes darting all over my thighs. "You're such an idiot." I splashed some water on him which made this idiot pull me to him and the way I laughed in his arms told me how free I was with this guy. He had created a whole different woman with me. He made me feel safe to a point that I completely became my true self to him.

"Your laugh is ugly." He laughed at me which earned him a pinch on his nipples. I mean he did have them out there for me to touch. "I see you're trying to get bent over on this counter. You want the repeat of the last time when you kept screaming out my name like I was murdering you." This cocky bastard. First of all, I did tell him I was a screamer and second of all he shouldn't do me as hard and good as he does and that time he didn't even wear a condom so my screams were justified.

"You went in raw so mostly your fault." I moved from him and went back to my potatoes and this idiot was laughing at me. "You're never going to let that go are you?" He was busy tending on the steak that he was preparing and it looked very yummy.

"Well I am not pregnant so you're forgiven." I carried on preparing my mash potatoes. "So what you really do not want to have kids?" He asked which earned him a brief look from me. I mean I do want to have kids someday,I just don't want them now.

"I do Jason. It's just that I want to have them when I am mentally ready so that if you decide to leave me I can like handle it." I stated honestly. This is South Africa. The minute you realise that you're pregnant, you have to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself to be a single mom. You don't even celebrate your pregnancy and now you're sitting there blaming yourself like you're the one that got pregnant on purpose to trap this man.

"I am not him." Were his words which made me stop peeling off these potatoes. "Not who?"

"Whoever did that to you Kwah. I would never do that to you."

"I don't have kids Jason." I quickly went back to peeling the potatoes,this time my eyes intently on what I am doing though I felt his bore into mine. "I also don't have kids but I once lost one." When he said that I snapped my head up to him. "My previous girlfriend miscarried in the first semester. I was devastated. We both were and that's what even ended our relationship. We both couldn't deal with grief. I blamed her and she blamed for being gone all the time and I also blamed her for working hard despite knowing she was pregnant." I was looking at him. I just wondered what are the probabilities that this man could really be my soulmate.