A Soldier's Secret

Part 1

My legs swung over the ledge of the cliff. My hands, wrapped around a rock, and the hand of my brother, stung and trembled. The acrid smell of smoke filled the gorge, the black smog rising from the burning below us.

"Let go!" He shouted, "Get yourself up!"

"I'm not leaving you!" I screamed, and a lick of heat washed over us. My hand shook dangerously, and I tried to haul him up, my arms failing me. I could hear the drone of the engines, and I just had to get us up onto the ledge. 

"Cedar" I looked at him, with his dark eyes "Let go"

"No!" I tried again, and I would keep trying...

His hand released mine, and he fell

I was screaming at him as he fell, almost in slow motion, watching him fall, hit the rocks, watch the life go out of his eyes even before he reached the flames. I was relieved, knowing that he wouldn't feel the fire. I pulled myself up and felt like gutting myself, for letting him die.

They found me soon after, sitting there, on the rock ledge, still wanting to jump after him. A travesty, they called it: a Jedi and all of the clones under his command dead, except one, of course. Me, alone in my grief for the fallen.

"With the recent massacre, we have a new trooper joining us" It was a hard voice, one that's seen too much. Rex, I thought. The 501st was famous and had a knack for having a wild lucky streak. So they stuck me, the sharp-tongued and lucky clone, with them. Lumped in as part of the mass, thrown in the pot. And, bonus, they had two Generals. I walked into the tent, my hand, the same one that lost my brother, holding the flap away from my face 

"Hi," I said. Many of the troopers had their helmets off, holding them against their hips

"What's your name?" Rex asked

"Cedar" I scowled "Type of tree. Known for being stubborn" I scanned all the other clones in the room, and they all flinched slightly as they felt the weight of my eyes. I briefly listened to their names and tossed them away. I planned to spend as little time as possible around them, anyway, and the sooner I learned names the sooner emotions came into play.

"Captain Error said you're lucky, high praise from him," Rex said, "I think the name fits with what he's told me,"

"I don't consider falling off a cliff lucky, Rex" I growled

Rex stifled laughter "You sound like D-Never mind" Rex shook his head "Hey, can I talk to Cedar alone for a bit?" He asked the others. They were hesitant

"Sir-" One said

"Jesse" Rex raised an eyebrow, and he left with the others

"I want to hear it from you," Rex said, "Error only lets troops go for two reasons, Cedar. And both are nothing good"

"I fell into a ravine and was spared the worst. Everyone died except me" I said

 Rex's face dropped "Everyone?"

"Everyone" I nodded "Even the General"

"By the Force- no wonder she sent you to me," Rex muttered

"Yeah. I shipped out from Coruscant after the funeral" I said

"Oof. That must have been a long flight" Rex grimaced "I know I hate all the "I'm sorry" s that follow an event like that, like they can fix it"

"Yeah" I had gotten to the door, and had turned back momentarily "Nothing can fix it" And I left, leaving Rex alone.

I hate new assignments. I never know the layout and get lost quickly. So I climbed a tree and looked down at the camp, seeing where they came from, where they went, and so on. The wind blew hard, and I quickly climbed down, away from what felt like the cliff again.

I watched Rex talk to another clone. I watched the clone Rex talked to talk to other clones. It was a beehive down there, and I felt like a wasp, waiting for a weak spot. Rex saw me, perched in my tree like a lunatic, and my comm buzzed.

"Cedar, what are you doing?" Rex asked

"Removing myself from the beehive"

"Get down from there, you'll get hurt," Rex said

"No"

Then he paused, "What beehive- oh," He laughed

"Also, I don't have to worry about life when I'm up here"

"That's mildly depressing" he added "But fair, since I used to do that on Kamino with my batchmates before Danger was killed,"

He stopped talking to address two newcomers, not clones, but I couldn't make them out from this distance. Rex had closed the comm, and I couldn't eavesdrop unless I climbed down

"Cedar, the Generals want to talk to you" Rex said

I pressed on my link "No"