The Empyrean | Fourth Wing |

Chapter 18

"Get your hands off my daughter, you sick bastard" I hear a voice say pulling me out of the Archives.

I see my mother pulling my raper off me as she punches him until he is a big lump on the floor while Rhi and Ridoc run to me. They wrap me with a jacket and take me out of the room, my mother following behind. 

"Cadets, I will take of her. Thank you for coming to get me"
"Of course, General" Rhi says and Ridoc nods before leaving us

My mother takes me to my room. I sit on the bed, wrap my arms around my legs and rock myself on the bed. My mother comes back with a cup in her hand
"Here, this will help. Trust me"
I thank her and drink from the cup. She sits next to me and wraps her arms around me.
Before, she touches me, I pull away
"Sorry, I didn't mean"
"It's okay. I get it. Can I hold your hand instead?" I nod and she holds my hand.
When she does, all the torment, anger, pressure just flow away and I hug and break. 
I cry and cry and cry. I feel so dirty and horrible. I feel like I cheated. 
My mother just holds me as I cry until I have no tears felt to cry. I let the shields go. 
I fell the pressure lift from my shoulder and I exhale deepily

Where is he? I am going to turn into ash
Wait for me Tairn, I am on my way. 

I laugh as I feel a little better hearing Tairn and Andarna. 
"Violet, did you turn off the candles?" I hear my mother ask
"No, why?"
"Because the room just darkened a bit" I look around and she is right. The room is a little darker then it was before. I feel a hand touch mine. At first I pull away. 

It's just me Violence. I would never hurt you

My eyebrow lift
You sure about that, Xaden? 
Fine, maybe I did hurt you once but I said sorry a thousand times
I know. I am just messing with you. 

His shadows next to me transform into a hand, I take his shadowy hand crossing your fingers and holding onto it as my life depended on it.

"Listen, Violet... I know it is the worse time but were you on the birth control tonic"
"Yes" Started taking it again after our night in the cave I tell Xaden smirking
My mother relaxes for a moment before sitting on the bed, she is about to hug me again but stops. Instead, I wrap her hands around me letting her that it's okay.
She holds me and we just sit there wrapped together on the bed until I fall asleep. 

"Violet... Violet.. Wake up"
"I wake up to my mother shaking me. You're okay... you're safe."
My throat is killing me like I have been screaming murder for the last 10mn
"Sounds about right?" Worry feels me when my mother says "Don't worry. I didn't read your mind. I can't do that, remember. You just thought at loud"
"Right. Of course..." My voice croaks
She stands up, hits water before she coughs, coughs. She gets a napkin, spits in, her eyes widen before she wipes around her mouth and throws the napkin in the fire.
She walks back to me and gives the tea
"You are dying, aren't you?" She is stunned
"Way would say that?"
"Mom, you missed a spot"
"Fine, you win. You are right, I am dying. Would be surprised if I had a few hours left"
"Mom?"
"Listen, when Melgren found out, he was pissed but then he used to his advantage. I never found out who told him about us. He would never tell. Personnally, I think it's Aetos but I never had the chance to prouve it. Anyway, if was pissed but he is ambious above all so he came up with a plan: He would punish all the Marked kids so every kid in Aretia and you. Brennan and Mira weren't punished because they were deemed part of their community. Being at Basgaith saved them. But you, you were just a child and you loved them as much as Brennan and Mira plus you were my favorite so yeah... Codagh burned you but instead of having a relic onto your skin, your hair tips lost colour and turned white. It wasn't what he had planned but it worked even better. No one would know. You just had to forget about everything. He chanted in these purple stones and you forgot everyone." She opens her hand and gives a purple stone.
"The rest are on a satchel on Tairn. Anyway, I later found out that he tried to wipe Brennan's memory prior to the rebellion but something went wrong. Also something I never found out about. The rest you know"
She exhales sadly before coughing. She ends up on her knees coughing non stop before spiting in the napkin again
"Mom, what happened to you? What is Melgren signet?"
"Corruption. My punishment was I had to be his personal lackey and be there for him in anyway he wanted"
"Did.. he.. Did it happen to you too?"
"Yes, once a week, twice if he won a big battle. At first, I was digusted but after Rose, I ... I became indifferent to it"
"Rose... I have another..."
"Well yes and no... I lost it when I was 3 months along. It was after your father's death. So I didn't think... I just thought it was the grief until one day I felt sick all morning for a week so I took a test. I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. So I told him. His answer... his answer was to beat the shit out of me in the stomach. I lost in a few hours later. After that, I just closed myself  off from everyone, from my friends, from my kids, from everything... I wanted to die but I made a promise to Eleanor, Fen and your dad so I continued. It was then and there that I decided to be hard on every single one of you. I was just ordered to be harder on you, making a storm when you crossed the parapet wasn't something I liked doing. When you slipped, I was so scared. I almost made the storm disappear but you held on and continued. When you arrived to the other side was the moment I started breathing again.
Anyway, I was forced to do anything he wanted if I didn't I would have to: the first time burn myself, the second time whip myself and the third time drink this poison she shows me the vial. Funny all 3 times, I broke the rules where for you
First time: the parapet
Second time: when I let you into the house the day you found the letters
Third time: when I killed Aetos."
A tear falls from my face, she wipes in away and says
"I regret nothing. When your friends came to me asking if I saw you and that they couldn't find. I imagined the worse. I just stormed into the room. I saw you and... him. You were so helpless. You tried to fight him but he ultimatly won. I know because I saw that look every week for the past years. You hid your soul somewhere. I saw red and almost flew towards him. The only thing I regret is you never having the closure you deserve and for than I am sorry. For the rest, nope. No regrets, well there is wipping Xaden but I am sure you already told him"
I am stunned
"What do you mean?
"You fought I did know that my godson continued our life's work. Tell him to be careful. I can't scrub the paper trail of the missing weapons dead"
Mom coughs, coughs, wheezes, coughs for what feels forever.
We lie on the bed curled up together as I hear her heart slowly stop.
"I love you mommy" I mumble tears falling
"I love you too darling. Always have and always will" Her heart stops and my mom died in my arms
I cry and cry...

when I feel arms around me. I look up to see him
"Hey Violence"
I hold onto him. Before I thought I didn't have anymore tears. I was so wrong. Tears and sobs are coursing through me
I am crying for me, for my mother, and everything we went through. I just cry my heart out...