Peeta x Reader

Chapter 8: The Morning of the Games

Y/N POV

It's the morning of the games. The day I've been dreading is finally here. I wasn't able to sleep, not even for a minute. I'm sure this is going to come back to haunt me later today but I couldn't stop thinking all night. About the games, about Will, about Peeta. Especially Peeta. It hasn't even been 24 hours since he professed his love to me on national television and it's all I've been able to think about. His timing couldn't have been worse. We've both been in love with each other since the beginning, but we don't admit it until right before we're both probably about to die. Probably. 

There is a knock on my door. It's still hours before we have to be up, but I say they can come in. My door slowly opens and reveals Peeta, his eyes red with fatigue and his sleep clothes tight on his body. He's put on muscle since we've been here, eating good and training. He looks amazing, stronger.

"Y/N," he comes slowly to the bed and snuggles in next to me. "Hey."

We don't have much to say. We both know what's coming today. I roll over and turn to him.

"Did you see the girl from 5?" I ask, smiling.

"What do you mean?" he replies.

"The tall one with the black hair. I think she likes you." I'm teasing him, of course. Trying to lighten the mood.

"Likes me?" He doesn't get the joke.

"Oh yeah," I laugh at his confusion, "She wouldn't stop giving me the death stare on the way back from the interviews. I think she's jealous of me."

Peeta understands that I'm teasing him and smiles softly at me.

"She should be jealous, I'm the greatest catch in all of Panem!" Peeta jokes and we laugh together.

I'm glad we have each other to distract from the day ahead.

"Seriously though, Y/N," he suddenly gets serious and gently lifts my chin, pulling my face closer to his. "I'm yours."

These are the words I've been wanting to hear for years. So why do I feel so wrong for hearing them? I don't reply, which I can tell hurts Peeta a little bit. Here he his, pouring his heart out to me for the past few days, and I can't even say one thing to validate his feelings.

"Peeta," I can't look him in the eyes. "You know how I feel right?"

Why can't I say it? Why can't I say I love him? I know that I love him. He knows I love him.

"Do I?"

Does he? 

The loud beeping of an alarm clock startles us, Peeta jumps from the bed. We look at the clock to our right and see that it's time to start the day. Through the crack in my door I can see Will seated at our dining table with a cup of coffee. Who knows how long he's been up.

He calls for me and Peeta to join him in the other room.

"Peeta, I-" I start.

"It's fine." He grabs my hand and we walk out to Will together. He lets go of my hand and we sit opposite each other, him next to Will and me all by myself. He says it's fine but he's avoiding my eyes. Now that the alarm went off, we have to switch into games mode. Now we aren't in love, we're animals in the arena set out to kill. If Peeta's going to ignore it, then I will too. 

"You guys have been doing incredible this week," Will said, admiringly, "The parade, the training scores, and especially the interviews." Will smiles at me and looks at Peeta, who gives a half smile. Is he going to keep acting like this? I feel like by now he should know I feel, even though I have trouble saying it. It hurts me that he's hurt, but I hope he knows that we just have to focus on the games right now. We can't be together now.