Thoughts

Midnight leaves

I havent been able to sleep tonight. The chamomile tea didnt help at all and i didnt want to take my melatonin gummies again.

I just lay there in my bed, wide awake like almost every other night.

At one point around 11pm i just couldnt take it anymore.
I got up,
looked out the window,
opened it,
and jumped.

I landed on the soft grass one meter beneath me. It tingled my feet and it was really cold, even though it was a warm summer night.

Some people love the summer, I definetly just hate the heat.
But I had never thought of just going out at night.
I wish i wouldve tried that sooner,
not that I could sleep anyway.

I gazed up at the stars as i strolled through our backyard and opened the gate.
It really was a biutiful Night.
No clouds and a wide star freckeled sky.

Barefoot as I was i walked down the street, slowly so that the sharp little stones wouldnt hurt.
It was an amazing feeling.
I felt alive again.

Despite the darkness and the fact that we lived at the end of our village and the road lead into the woods, i wasnt scared at all.
The noises were just so calming and not knowing what could sit behind that bush was exciting.

I followed the road, walking straight in the middle of it.
To my left and right fields and before me the forest. I could see the trees sway in the summer breeze.
A few leaves had loosened and were carried to me. They danced around me and while the wind got stronger and tucked at my hair, i just couldnt hold it back anymore. Laughter emerged from me. I opened my arms and spun around looking at the stars, trying to catch one of the leaves.
Just jumping around like a little child.

As i finally caught one i sat down on the side of the road and inspected it. It was a beech leaf. Soft and green.
It was beautiful.
So I let it go, to fly away with the other leaves in the wind.

I sat in the same sport till mornig, between the village and the forest.
Some cars had come by but none of them saw me sitting there.
Gazing at the stars and listenig to the whispering of the leaves.
Finally feeling a tingle of happiness again.