Thoughts

Definetly not gay - 2

He let go of me. We both just stared at each other for a moment before he turned around and ran into the bathroom connected to the room we were in. I just stood there in complete shock, trying to process what just happened. My lips still tingled from the sensation of his mouth on mine. What the hell was that? I was so confused but did the next best thing and followed him into the bathroom. He must've thought that he would throw up because he was hangig over the bathtub just staring into the air. He really was drunk. And i really should'nt think much about that kiss. Maybe he thought i was one of those girls. He noticed me standing in the door frame. "Heyyy com'here little one." Little one? He must have really thought i was someone else. I still walked up to him and kneeled down besides him on the floor. "Heyyyy." "Hey." He looked at me. No he glared right into my eyes and i felt as if he could see right into my soul. What was wrong with him. I mean he was veryyy drunk but still. This just didnt seem like him at all. He blinked and that kinda got us out of that moment. I stood up and looked at him, kneeling on the floor like that. Then i filled a cup from the sink with water and sat back down on the floor. " You should drink some water or else tomorrow will be the living hell for you." I gave him the cup and he actually drank it just to look at me again. This time with a slight smile on his lips. "You lookin goood today lil one." Again. What the hell was going on. "You are way to drunk. Why did you even drink this much?" I have no idea why i have been so calm throu this. I felt like my insides were burning. This whole room was filled with tension. He was flirting with me. I knew that. I just didnt know how i managed to react so little to him. It would probably come later. I was pretty sure that i would die at home, screaming in my pillow and blushing all the way up to my ears. I could do nothing but hope that the adrenalin would keep me from doing that when he was present. But seriously why was he doing that? He would flirt with girls the time but never with me. Never. We were best freinds. GUY best friends. He was still holding eye contact as he said:"I dont know. I.. I was just sad and wanted to get it out of my system. The world is just so confusing to me right now." His eyes had wandered around the room, breaking eye contact with me and seemingly trying to avoid it now. He must have started to sober up a little. " what is so confusing right now?" I asked. We normally didnt talk about such stuff. But it kind of made me happy that he was opening up to me like that, even if he was under the influence. He didnt look at me as he said it. "You are the one whos confusing me. Everything about you. I shouldnt feel this way but i wanted to tell you." He paused. My thoughts were racing, but before i could say anything he started talking again." I dont think i see you as a friend anymore." "What?! What do you mean?" He didnt want to be freinds anymore. Why? I thought we got along just fine. Did he mean it in another way? No never. I shouldnt get my hopes up and just let him finish tlaking. I looked at him and he slowly turned his head and said with a very gente voice:"Not in that way. In the exact opposite way actually. I..I think... i like you. His voice had cabges during the last words. Merely a whisper. I almost couldnt hear them. He looked me in the eyes and repeated himself, this tine loud and clear. "I like you." I had only stared at him not showing any reaction but now the realization hit me. I wasnt delusional or stupid. The chemestry i had felt just now was there. He was there. With me. And he just told me that he liked me. My best firend whom i had a crush on for years now. My mouth opened to say something but my throat just felt so dry, i couldnt get anything out. He suddenly jumped up" im so sorry. You dont have to awnser it." And then he stormed out. It took me a second to jump after him. I caught him at the door to the corridor. I spun him around and stopped as i saw the tears rolling down his face. He was crying. The last time i had see him cry was when his grandma had died. I couldnt blame him as i knew exactly how he felt. He just looked so helpkess and confused and i gave in and hugged him. Held him tight felt how he slowly put his arms around me. "Its okay. It really is okay." He didnt awnser, i just felt his body tremble in my arms. It was a little hard to comfort him standig, because of our hight difference so i led him to the bed. We sat down and i got on my knees to be able to completly hug him. He was still crying and i felt that my eyes were getting watery too. That always happened when i saw someone cry and with him it was even worse. I felt the first tears slip down my cheeks when he stiffened up a little. He has stopped crying and i whiped over my eyes so that he wouldnt see that i had started crying too. I slowly let go of him and we looked at each other. "Do you have a napkin?" His voice still sounded a bit fragile and his eyes were a little red. I didnt havr one one me so i got up and grabbed some toilet paper from the bathroom. He blew his nose and then we just kinda sat next to each other on the bed for a few seconds. I tried finding the right words for what i was about to say but the chaos was just too much. I hadnt even got a grasp of all the things that had happend just now so i just blurted it out: "I... like you too." Welp there it goes. Now we both said it and my mind was completly blank with no idea what to do next. I turned my gead to look over at him and there was just pure shok and surprise displayed on his face. " wow. I did not expect that." Then we both just stared at the wall for a few seconds until i just asked if we could talk about it tomorrow. He just nodded his head and then we both took one glance at each other and burstaed out in laughter. All of this had happened way too fast. Like what the hell? He liked me back. We were both laying on the bed half crying, galf laughing about our stupidity. After we had calmed down a bit we layed down beside each other and he looked at me and said: "Bro, you really wanna tell me that you liked me back all this time along? Wait since when actually? This shit is lit!" "Yea it is! But i never would have thought that you could see men or even me in that way.
God, i ve had a crush on you for years!" Ive laid my cards bare so there was nothing more to hide. I finally felt free again. Just beeibg able to talk to him like that about my feelings and gis too felt so refreshing. "That long? Holy shit. For my part i started seeibg you that way a couple a moths ago. You remeber that time where i tried to convince you to play basketball with us and your t shirt lifted a bit? I felt like my brain was beibg fried after not getting it out of my head. Maaan you sure are hot." His eyes were fixated on the seeling as ge said that. Goodness. He thought i was hot? I took a glance at his face and i was pretty sure i could see a little redness on the cheeks. "Says the one thats basically straight from hell, cause hes so hot." He didnt say anything for a moment. "Too bad im not even straight apperantly. But seriously you are hot. And amazing. And cute. And i want to kiss you again." OMG. We were now holdibg eye contact and i just didnt know what was happenig to me, but i defintely wanted to kiss him too. Do so much more. I had never felt the urge to do something like that. Bot in that way. Obviously i had thought about sex and all that stuff but i had never imagined me actually sleeping with someone. The only sexual adventures i had had till now were alone in my room with only me and my dick present. Now everything was flashig throu my head, and the vivid memory of him shirtless didnt make thibgs better. His face was now really close to mine. I had never noticed how long his eyelashes were. They framed his hazelnut coloured eyes perfectly. His lips looked so soft and i could still feel the tingle of our last kiss. Gosh we had already kissed. Well only our lips touched but still. I could feel the panick coming up inside of me and rising to the top. I started blushing really hard but it was already too late. Luckily he had been too fast and our lips were already touchibg before i could ruin this moment. They were as soft and gentle as before and i closed my eyes. We both had our lips pressed together but he slowly opened his and i followed his invitation and opened mine as well. I felt his tounge slip throu and i was already seeing stars when it touched mine. I had no expirience in kissing so i let him take the lead and oh boy was i happy that i did that. He was extreamly gentle and our toubges just flowed tigether perfectly. We both started to get out of breath and had to part. I opened my eyes just to see his beautiful face right in front of me. I hadnt even noticed that i slung my arms around his neck. This had the consequenze of his hair freeibg itself from the hair tie. It was so soft and i ran my fibger throu it. All the holding back and the waiting paid off. It was anazing. Just beeibg so close to him. Feeling his heartbeat, seeibg the life in his eyes and feeling all of the littke butterflies in my stomach. I lived for this moment. Just with him.

Will be continued...

(Ive always wanted to write that)

There will definetly be a part 3 and 4, maybe even more chapters.

(I will probabaly re-write it)