Crush (Siglai/Fyogol) (Hiatus)

Don't talk to me if you don't want to. I don't care. (Actually, I do)

Since then, I started hanging out with Sigma more often. We began to talk more frequently and teamed up for partner assignments. I must admit that I may have neglected my friends a bit, but I thought they would understand. After all, I thought our friendship was strong enough to stay together even if I socialized with other people.

Well, it seems I was wrong.

Before talking to Sigma, I used to sit with Dazai and Fyodor in all of my classes, but to be able to talk more with him, I changed my seat in some classes. Not all, just in physics, literature, religious theory, biology, and social sciences. Only five out of fourteen classes. It wasn't that serious.

I also hung out with him during breaks. We would go to the library to study.

"Do you like to read?" I asked one day as I looked at the bookshelf.

"Not really," he replied. He picked up a book, "Cujo." Do you know it?

"I've heard of it. It has a movie adaptation. And it's by Stephen King."

He made a gesture and brought the book to the table where we were sitting.

"Are you going to read it?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I plan to read one book during each break every day. I don't usually read, but I guess it wouldn't hurt."

My ego made me believe that he was reading because he knew I liked to read and wanted to share that interest. So it became a habit that when we didn't have to study for an assignment or an exam, we sat down to read side by side. It was fun.

But Dazai and Fyodor didn't seem to share the same opinion.

It seemed that all it took was for me to move away from them for a moment for them to start pushing me aside, even ignoring me.

It had been a month and a half since I wrote the letter to Sigma. In biology, Fyodor asked Dazai to accompany him to the bathroom, and I said I would go with them too. They made a gesture, but I decided to ignore it. It couldn't have been intentional, I thought.

They walked closely together, side by side, and at a brisk pace. I had to hurry to catch up with them.

"Hey!" I protested. "Don't leave me behind!"

I didn't expect Fyodor to turn so abruptly and shove me.

"You always leave us behind!" he scolded. Then he turned and continued walking.

Dazai didn't say anything. I was left stunned. Me, leaving them behind? What nonsense!

I was offended, very offended. I also turned around and returned to the classroom angrily. I could understand that they were just jealous and bitter because I was talking to Sigma, and things seemed to be going well.

Well, you know what?

I don't care if you don't understand what I feel! I don't care if you, with your hearts of stone, don't comprehend how important Sigma is to me! Just because you can't feel love doesn't mean my feelings are invalid! I couldn't care less if you're on my side or not.

I didn't lose them; they lost me.

My mother noticed that I had a fight with them. How did she know? I don't know. It seems like mothers know everything. Anyway, she told me it would be best to apologize to them and tell them that I could have other friends, and it didn't mean I stopped loving them.

Because my mom knew about Sigma's existence, but she had no idea how important his existence was to me.

I apologized to them through a message. The next day, we met up as if nothing had happened, and I sat next to them while they had lunch in front of the classroom where we had chemistry class.

"Hi," I greeted, as if we hadn't exchanged harsh words through messages the day before resolving things. "How's it going?"

"Well," Fyodor replied.

"How did you do on the social studies exam?" I wanted to know.

"Pretty well, I think I got a good grade," he said, not paying too much attention.

It annoyed me that he wasn't paying attention to me. When he talked, I paid a lot of attention. He deserved to pay attention to me when I spoke.

"What about you, Dazai?"

Dazai was looking at his phone when he let out a scream.

"Ranpo has a boyfriend!" he shouted. Fyodor choked on his piece of sashimi.

"What!" I exclaimed, while Fyodor coughed.

"He just told me!" Dazai replied, showing us his phone.

It seemed that Poe had written a letter in which he expressed his feelings for Ranpo and asked him to be his boyfriend. My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped. How was it possible that Ranpo had gotten a boyfriend before me?

Ranpo sent us a photo of the long two-page letter he had received, and we read it in its entirety.

"Do you think he'll accept?" I asked.

"Do you think he wouldn't?" Fyodor replied with a question of his own. "He's been in love with Poe since last year. If he didn't accept, he'd be foolish."

We spent the whole day waiting for some news from Ranpo. We were in ethics class when he finally wrote.

"I have to tell you something."

I couldn't resist and immediately asked if he already had a boyfriend. Ranpo told us in great detail everything that had happened.

"I asked my dad what he thought about it. He said he wasn't too thrilled with the idea of me having a boyfriend, but ultimately, it was my decision, and if I thought it was a good idea, he'd allow it, as long as I didn't neglect my studies."

The teacher caught us with our phones and scolded us.

We spent three days discussing these things and what we would do when we saw Poe.

"We should threaten him," Dazai suggested. "Let him know that if anything happens to Ranpo, he'll be responsible, and we'll give him a hard time."

"Threaten him? What do you mean?" Fyodor asked.

"It means grabbing him by the hair," I explained. "I think it's a good idea. If he dares to cheat on Ranpo or make him cry, he'll have to deal with us."

"Guys, we're talking about Ranpo," Fyodor made a gesture. "If Poe tries to deceive him, Ranpo will figure it out before Poe himself, and he'll take action before even blinking."

"Good point."

And suddenly, they started ignoring me again.

I arrived one day, and they were at the entrance, talking. I approached.

"Hello," I greeted. There was no response, so I tried again. "What are you guys doing?"

They didn't even look at me.

Dazai had some cards in his hand. I used it as an excuse to talk.

"What's that?"

"Why do you care?" Fyodor snapped, and they returned to their silence.

And since then, we haven't spoken to each other.

And what do I care?

I couldn't care less if they're upset because I started to have a better relationship with Sigma or made other friends. If they're so antisocial that they can't talk to other people, it's not my problem.

And even though I say that, the truth is that it affects me more than it should.

They were my best friends! I gave my all for them because I felt our friendship was worth it. I truly believed that. If I had known that by hanging out with Sigma, I would lose them, I would have found another way.

Still, I was deeply offended. It was very selfish of them to leave me behind.

Did I do something wrong? Did I not try hard enough to make it work?

The first time I apologized to them. I wanted to believe that maybe the first time we stopped talking was my fault, but I was fed up. I won't apologize a second time.

Let them apologize.