MINE!

They Say Jump, I Say How High???

Parol denied...

I can't fuckin believe it

I have been a model prisoner ever since I got sent to this hell hole, saying yes when I meant no, saying no when I meant yes, they said jump, and Travis said 'how fuckin high?'

Parol denied...

That means I have to say goodbye to Taylor once more and my dreams of home

That means I have to give her over to whoever is holding her at night, whoever has their hands all over what was rightfully mine

I smash my hands into the cell wall and yell out in frustration

"Hey Kelce, it's just another year brother"

"Another year?!" I choke out.

Barney has known me ever since I arrived here, he's been my cell mate for over a year, he's seen me hurt, seen me hurt others but most of all he's seen me. He's a convicted killer so I have to admit to being nervous of him at first but he's a good guy, just a good guy that was made bad, a bit like me I guess

"She'll still be there"

"She'll be married with kids and I will be nothing more than a bad taste in her mouth "

"You deserved to go home Trav, I don't know what the board are fuckin playing at" Barney tries to comfort me

"She's going to meet someone else Barnz, she's going to build a life and a family with him, without me. FUCK!!!" I slam my fist into the wall once more  "I'm going to be 'uncle Travis' to her kids instead of being dad"

My ass hits the lower bunk that's mine hard as I feel every nerve in my body buzzing with frustration

I was 24 hours from being face to face with my girl and now I'm looking at at least another 365 days in this hell hole

"She'll be waiting for you"

"She'll barely remember my name" I say as my mind travels back to the first time I saw her and heard my name trickle from her lips like dark molasses dripping from a spoon

****************

'You're failing Kelce' Mr. Buckley had informed him but the tall, brunette boy with golden eyes hadn't even lifted his head in interest.

He was failing... so fuckin what? He failed everything he ever tried, why should high school be any different?

'I know your home life is difficult...' Mr. Buckley has looked at Travis with sympathy and empathy but all Travis wanted to do was take his hand and punch that look right off of his face. He didn't need 'sympathy' all he needed was for every fucker to leave him alone 'That's why I have appointed you a tutor'

A tutor?!

A nerd?!

Travis'  head had spun as his stomach turned thinking about what his friends would say about him hanging around with some loser of a tutor

'If you want to finish high school with your class this is your last choice'

Travis hadn't argued the point, he needed to graduate. He knew there was no way his parents could afford college but he wanted to at least be able to look back and say he graduated

'Who?'

'Miss. Swift'

Travis couldn't remember hearing that name before so he was relieved it wasn't one of the most recognisable nerds. Maybe he could do this and manage to keep it from his friends

'I don't know her' he admitted, looking at the faces that were all sat in the class, looking at the chalk board, uninterested

'Hi Travis' said a feminine voice and Travis had spun not knowing what to expect.

Bad clothes?

Glasses?

A mountain of books in her hands?

But when his eyes landed on the girl that had spoken his name he felt his stomach lurch towards his chest

'Miss. Swift?' He asked in disbelief, unsure how someone so beautiful could be so well versed in such boring subjects as math and science

"Hi Travis' she grinned widely and then bit her lip to hide it and Travis had to fight himself to make sure he didn't go over there and remove her teeth from her lip so he could see that beautiful smile

'Mr. Kelce, this is Taylor Swift. She will be helping you with your study for the rest of the year"

"Sorry" Travis mouthed and that just made the blond girl giggle as Travis quickly decided he liked that sound

'Shall we exchange numbers?' She asked nervously but Travis didn't answer, he just fixed her with the intense eye contact he was renowned for and silently took her phone from her hand

'You're cute' he suddenly announced and the girls cheeks darkened at his words 'I think this might be fun Swifty' he chuckled as he handed her phone back to her and then walked away ' Call me!' He shouted over his shoulder, seeing in his head the way she was blushing and nibbling on her bottom lip for him

*******************

Parol denied!

My hands are shaking as I close my laptop and then swipe at the tears that are involuntarily making their way down my cheeks

Parol denied...

One more year in prison before he can try again

I wipe my eyes again not sure why I'm crying.

I didn't want him to come home, I was terrified of how it would play out if he did but at the same time I wanted him home

I wanted to know he was roaming the streets nearby, that when I went to the supermarket there was a chance we might meet. I wanted that shock of electricity that seeing Travis always gives me, a feeling I haven't felt since the day he left me

Parol denied...

Another 365 days without him, but I guess I should get used to it since I will be living the rest of my life without him

My phone begins to vibrate against my thigh and I pick it up and see it's Joe calling

"Hello?"

"Hey babe, I'm downstairs waiting. I can't wait to see what you're wearing for me"

Joe...

It's our first date and judging by the way it's starting it will be our last

I hate the sound of the word 'babe' coming out of his mouth and hitting against my ear drum, I remember the way Travis used to purr it to me and the way my entire being would spark into life

"Okay" its all I can manage as Travis and the shadow on him once again contaminates every darkened corner of my life.

I put my phone down and then attempt to fix my eye makeup "goodbye Travis" I whisper to no one and then pick up my purse and head out the door to start my life without him