MINE!

Its Always Been Him

'Mr. Kelce! Mr. Kelce open the door!'

'Who the hell is that?!' I pull away from Travis, my heart hammering in my ears, the banging was so immediate and so intense that my whole world seemed to be shaking

'Stay in here. Shut the door and no matter what you hear, do not come out'

Travis doesn't seem panicked, his voice is low, quiet but he seems to know what's going on, which is more than can be said for me

'What do you mean stay in here and don't come out? Who are they? What do they want with you?'

'Taylor, baby...' he holds my face in his hands as the hammering begins once more only this time it sounds like metal hitting metal, whoever they are, they're trying to break in to our home and this time Travis does begin to panic, he drags me from the bed and pushes me to my knees

'Get under the bed Taylor, stay there, no matter what, you stay there!'

'Travis...' but he's up on his feet and headed for the bedroom door 'TRAVIS!'

The next sound I hear is the sound of wood splintering and then yelling and shouting, I hear Travis' voice every now and then, calm at first and then more frantic

'I didn't do it' I hear him trying to explain as the voices raise to a crescendo and then I hear Travis grunt loudly and i cant lie here and listen to this anymore so I drag myself out from under the bed and then slowly I creep over the bedroom carpet, my trembling fingers wrapping around the cool metal and then pulling in open as i hear Travis groaning.

I step out of the bedroom and turn towards the kitchen just in time to see a police officer slam Travis face first onto the ground, I gasp and rush towards him but just before I get to my baby the officer pulls out a gun and points it right at his head and suddenly my feet are slipping from under me, i'm falling to my knees as my hands cover my mouth, attempting to stop myself from screaming at the sight before me

'Travis Kelce, I am arresting you for the murder of Hector Hernandez...'

Murder?!

Travis?!

In that one second my entire world changed forever

***************************************

I sit at my family's patio table and stir the tea my mother just made for me. My mind is a mess after suffering through the same nightmare version of a memory for 3 nights in a row and when I feel as low and confused as this there's only this new place I can go... home!

Or more specifically to my mother

"What's wrong Taylor? You're so pale and so quiet. Are you eating properly?"

The truth is I have barely eaten a bite since Travis returned but I just nod and explain work is busy right now.

"How is the new office?"

She calls it new but in truth I have been there almost a year, ever since things happened with Joe.

I push that memory back into its box, my mind is too consumed with Travis and guilty about Harry to add another man into the mix

Man... more like a monster, but that's for another day

"Travis' back" I suddenly blurt out. I hadn't planned it, hadn't come here to speak about Travis but for some reason when I'm in the company of my mother he's the first thing I want to talk about

She nods knowingly "Your father and I bumped into him at the supermarket a few days ago"

The look on my face must communicate my concerns to my mother because she strokes my arm "Don't worry, your father behaved perfectly"

"And Travis?"

"The perfect gentleman"

I smile, remembering the other side of Travis, the soft, gentle, attentive side. With his soft accent and his impeccable manners

"What's done is done Taylor, it's all in the past" I stir my tea and keep my gaze firmly on the brown liquid, not wanting my mother to look into my eyes, knowing she will see into my soul immediately. Unfortunately she knows me too well as her soft fingers reach for my chin and lift my face to hers "It is in the past isn't it darling?"

My silence must say everything I can't because she takes hold of my cheeks and presses her forehead against mine "Oh Taylor"

"I love him"

"Taylor..."

"I know what you're going to say, just the same as Selena, all the reasons I should hate him, all the reasons I should stick with Harry and never look back but..."

"It's Travis"

"Yes" I whisper

"Its always been Travis" she laughs a little bit but it's humourless

"I know you hate him"

"I don't" She lifts her hand and strokes my cheek "I never did but once you started dating him everything changed. You went from a straight A student to being in trouble for shoplifting. You quit the gymnastics team, changed the subjects you wanted to study at college.."

"But that's because he changed me! He showed me how to be true to myself and the things that fed my soul instead of the things that made everyone else happy" I pull away from my mom and rest my head in my hands "He saw me when no body else did and he loved me for who I truly was"

"But he hurt you, over and over again. He cheated..."

"He kissed another girl just after we started dating"

"That broke your heart!"

"He broke his own heart more!"

"He was arrested in front of you, you were so traumatised you had to move back home"

I nod, it's true, that day damaged me in ways I'm yet to repair, tore the man I loved from me without the chance of an explanation

"I asked Harry to move in with me" even as the words fall out I feel blood fill my cheeks

"And now you regret it"

"I'm using him to stop myself admitting the truth"

"Which is?"

"I want Travis" a tear rolls over my lower lid and then slides down my burning cheeks "With every part of me, he's all I want"

My mom wraps her arms around me and drags me closer to her "Then go get him Taylor"

It feels as though I'm a child again and I'm being given my mothers permission and it immediately relieves some of the guilt I have been walking with but my head is still yelling at me to forget him at the same time my heart screams at me to never let him go"

*it's ending soon