Natasha Romanoff stories

Throwing knives and an angry Clint

The gentle hum of the Quinjet filled the air as Julie sat in one of the seats, staring out of the window as the landscape below passed by. She could hear the easy laughter of the older girls—Natasha, Wanda, and Maria—who were talking amongst themselves. It made her smile faintly, hearing how comfortable they were together. She was still new to the Avengers team, rescued from the Red Room only a year ago, and there were still so many things that felt foreign to her. She was learning every day, but some days felt harder than others.Today was one of those days.

They were on their way to Clint Barton's farm to visit him, his wife Laura, and their kids. The idea of spending time with them excited Julie, but it also made her nervous. She didn't have a family—at least, not in the traditional sense. Growing up in the Red Room had stolen that from her, and though she had been free for a year, the concept of family still felt strange. And now, she was going to be spending the day at someone else's family home, surrounded by love and warmth that she didn't quite know how to fit into.

As the Quinjet descended toward the farm, Julie felt her heart pounding in her chest. She was quiet, keeping to herself, as the others made their way out, chatting easily with one another. Julie lagged behind, her footsteps slow as she walked out onto the field where Clint and Laura were waiting to greet them.
"Hey!" Clint greeted the group with a broad smile, pulling Natasha into a quick hug. Laura stood beside him, waving warmly at everyone. "It's about time you guys came to visit."Julie hung back, feeling a strange sense of guilt as she watched them all embrace. This wasn't her family, she reminded herself. She was just the tag-along. She didn't belong here—not in this cozy, peaceful place. She felt like an intruder in someone else's life.

Laura noticed Julie standing off to the side, and without hesitation, walked over to her, arms outstretched. "You must be Julie," she said kindly, pulling her into a soft hug. "We've heard so much about you. I'm so glad you're here."Julie's body stiffened at the unexpected embrace, but she tried her best to smile as she nodded. "Th-Thanks. I'm happy to be here."

But she wasn't. Not really. She felt like she was disrupting something—like her presence was a reminder of the violence and trauma she had endured, and she didn't want to bring that into their peaceful world. As everyone settled into their own activities—Wanda helping Laura in the kitchen, Maria and Natasha following Clint to chop some wood—Julie stayed quiet and observing, feeling more and more out of place by the minute.

She watched the others from a distance, feeling like she was on the outside looking in. She didn't belong here, no matter how much the others tried to make her feel welcome. This wasn't her family.

Julie's thoughts were interrupted by a small tug on her sleeve. She looked down and saw Cooper, Clint and Laura's son, grinning up at her."Hey, Julie! Can you teach me something cool?"

Julie blinked, surprised. "Me? You want me to teach you something?"

Cooper nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! I wanna learn something awesome!"

For a moment, Julie couldn't believe it. She had been so sure that no one really wanted her here, that she was just in the way. But Cooper was looking up at her with wide, eager eyes, and for the first time that day, Julie felt a flicker of excitement. Someone wanted to spend time with her."Okay," Julie said with a smile. "What do you want to learn?"

Cooper thought for a moment, then pointed toward the barn. "Let's go in there and figure something out!"

Julie followed Cooper to the barn, feeling a little lighter than she had all morning. Inside, they looked around for something fun to do, but most of the tools and objects were out of bounds for a kid like Cooper. Then, Julie's eyes landed on an old dartboard hanging on the wall. The darts were missing, but an idea formed in her mind.

She reached down to her boot and pulled out a small throwing knife that she always kept on her. It was second nature to her, something she had learned to use when she was just a child."Want to learn how to throw knives?" Julie asked, holding up the blade with a grin.Cooper's eyes widened in excitement. "Yes! That's so cool!"

Julie carefully explained the basics to Cooper, showing him how to hold the knife properly, with the blade pointing away from his body. She was patient and thorough, making sure he understood the importance of safety. After a few demonstrations, she let him try, guiding his movements with her hands.

For the next thirty minutes, Cooper practiced under Julie's watchful eye. He was getting the hang of it, and Julie was genuinely impressed. She felt proud of herself—proud that she could teach him something new. Maybe, just maybe, she was starting to feel like she could fit in here after all.

But that feeling quickly shattered when Clint walked into the barn."Dad! Look what Julie taught me!" Cooper shouted excitedly, turning toward his father with a wide grin.

Clint's expression shifted in an instant. His face contorted with anger as he saw the knife in Cooper's hand and Julie standing beside him."What the hell is this?" Clint's voice was sharp, and Julie felt her heart drop. "Why are you teaching him how to throw knives?"

Julie's throat went dry. She tried to explain, but the words wouldn't come out. Clint stormed over, pulling the knife from Cooper's hand and glaring at Julie."He's a kid, Julie. I've spent years keeping this soldier crap away from them, and you go and teach him this?" Clint's voice was full of anger, his eyes blazing with frustration. "You don't get it, do you? I've tried to shield my kids from this life, and here you are, teaching him how to be a child soldier. What were you thinking?""I-I didn't mean—" Julie stammered, tears already brimming in her eyes.Clint wasn't done. "You've been through hell, Julie, I get that. But teaching my son this? It's reckless. Stupid. I'm trying to give him a normal life, something you should've understood."Each word cut deeper than the last, and Julie felt like she was suffocating under the weight of his anger. She had just been trying to help, trying to bond with Cooper, but now it felt like she had done something terribly wrong. Something unforgivable.Clint grabbed Cooper's arm and began dragging him back toward the house, leaving Julie standing alone in the barn, tears streaming down her face. The excitement and happiness she had felt just moments ago had vanished, replaced by a deep, gnawing hurt.

Julie stood there in the barn for what felt like hours, her mind replaying Clint's harsh words over and over again. *Child soldier.* The accusation stung. She hadn't meant any harm—she thought it was harmless, something she had learned as a child herself. She hadn't realized that teaching Cooper how to throw knives would be such a big deal. After all, it was second nature to her. It was something she'd known for as long as she could remember.

But this wasn't the Red Room. This was a family—a real, normal family—and she didn't know how to navigate that world. She didn't know what was considered "normal" anymore.With her heart heavy and tears still falling, Julie finally forced herself to walk back toward the house. She felt numb, completely out of place, and more alone than ever. The warmth and welcome she had felt earlier had been replaced by a suffocating sense of guilt and shame.As she entered the house, she saw the others going about their day—Natasha, Wanda, and Maria were laughing together, completely unaware of what had just happened. Clint and Laura were busy with the kids.

No one noticed her slip quietly into the room she had been given, her heart aching with the weight of her mistake.Julie closed the door softly behind her, sinking down onto the bed. She didn't belong here. She never would.And the worst part was, she didn't know if she ever could.

The soft sound of voices carried through the farmhouse as Julie sat alone in her room, her mind still spinning from the events in the barn. The day had started off with so much promise, but it had all crumbled so quickly. Clint's words echoed in her head over and over again, each one a dagger of guilt that twisted deeper into her chest.

"You're a child soldier... reckless, stupid..."

Julie could still see the anger on his face, the disappointment in his eyes. She hadn't meant to cause any harm. She just thought teaching Cooper how to throw knives was a harmless activity—something cool and fun. But now she saw how wrong she had been. It was like she didn't know what was normal anymore. Growing up in the Red Room had blurred the lines between right and wrong, and now that she was free, she was trying so hard to fit into a world she didn't fully understand.

A soft knock on her door jolted her out of her thoughts. She quickly wiped at her eyes, trying to push down the emotions threatening to bubble up."Julie?" Wanda's gentle voice called from the other side of the door. "Dinner's ready, sweetheart. Come on down."

Julie took a deep breath, forcing herself to stand. She couldn't hide in her room all night. No matter how out of place she felt, she had to keep it together. She owed them that much for intruding on their family day.

The dining table was cozy and inviting, with bowls of freshly cooked food spread out in front of everyone. Laura had outdone herself, making a feast that filled the air with mouth-watering smells. But as Julie sat down at the table, it all felt too overwhelming.

Her heart pounded as she quietly took her seat, keeping her eyes on her empty plate. The others were talking, laughing softly, but it all felt distant to her. The clinking of silverware against plates, the warm glow of the fireplace, the smell of roasted vegetables and baked bread—it should have been comforting. But for Julie, it only made her feel more out of place.

She hadn't belonged here in the first place. She wasn't part of this family. She was just... intruding. Clint had made that clear. She had disrupted their peaceful life by coming here, and now she had taken something from Cooper—some of his innocence that Clint was trying so hard to protect. And for what? A moment of bonding that wasn't hers to take.

Her fingers curled around her fork, but she didn't make any motion to serve herself. The guilt pressed down on her chest, suffocating her. She didn't deserve to take any more. She had already taken too much by being here.

Laura noticed immediately. Her kind eyes softened as she saw Julie sitting there, motionless, staring at her empty plate. Without a word, Laura reached over, gently taking Julie's plate in her hands. Julie didn't look up, didn't protest as Laura scooped a healthy portion of food onto the plate and set it back in front of her.Forcing herself to look up, Julie's eyes locked with Laura's. The warmth in Laura's expression caught her off guard, and for a brief moment, she felt like she might break. But she quickly looked away, ashamed of the emotions swirling inside her. She didn't deserve the kindness. Julie grabbed her fork, but all she could do was poke at the food. She couldn't get anything down, not with the heaviness in her chest and the knot in her stomach. Her heart was still hurting too much. Each bite felt impossible.

Across the table, Natasha, Wanda, and Maria threw concerned glances her way. They could see the change in her—the quietness, the sadness in her eyes. But Julie didn't catch their worried looks. She was too busy trying to keep herself together, trying to push down the overwhelming urge to cry.

As the meal went on, Julie remained silent, her plate untouched. The others noticed, but no one said anything. By the end of dinner, when everyone was full and the plates were being cleared, Julie quietly stood up, excusing herself from the table. She hadn't eaten a single bite.

Julie's heart pounded in her chest as she busied herself with clearing the plates. She needed to do something—anything—to make up for the mistake she had made earlier. She felt so out of place, so guilty for having taught Cooper something that had upset Clint so much. Maybe if she worked harder, did more, she could even things out. She wanted to be helpful, not a burden.She brought the plates into the kitchen, starting to rinse them off and wash them. The warm water ran over her hands, but the numbness in her chest didn't fade. She scrubbed the dishes, trying to block out the overwhelming emotions swirling in her mind.
But before she could get too far, Laura gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to do that, sweetheart," Laura said softly, her voice full of warmth. "You're our guest. Let me handle the cleaning."

Julie opened her mouth to protest, but Laura gave her a kind smile that left no room for argument.

"Go relax with everyone else," Laura added. "You've done enough."

Julie stood there for a moment, feeling completely at a loss. Laura's words had been kind, but they only deepened the emptiness inside her. She wasn't doing enough—at least not to make up for everything. But with nothing left to do, Julie was left with no choice but to return to the living room.

Back in the living room, everyone had gathered around the fireplace. The warmth of the fire and the sound of soft conversation should have been comforting, but to Julie, it felt suffocating. This wasn't her family. This wasn't her life. She didn't belong here.

The others were playing board games, laughing and talking with ease, but Julie couldn't bring herself to join in. She couldn't sit there, pretending like everything was fine. The weight in her chest was too heavy, and the guilt of what had happened earlier in the barn kept replaying in her mind.

So, without a word, Julie quietly slipped away. No one noticed her leaving the room—everyone was too absorbed in the games and conversation. She made her way back to the small guest room she had been given and closed the door softly behind her.The second she was alone, the floodgates opened.

Julie collapsed onto the bed, burying her face in the pillow as sobs wracked her body. The emotions she had been holding in all day came pouring out—years of pain and hurt that she had tried so hard to keep buried. The loneliness, the guilt, the feeling of never belonging anywhere—it all crashed down on her at once.She had spent so many years in the Red Room, being molded into a weapon, being taught that emotions were weaknesses. But now, here in this place where families were supposed to be safe and warm, she felt more out of place than ever. She had tried so hard to be normal, to fit in, but all she did was make things worse.

And Clint's words... Child soldier. Reckless. Stupid.

They cut deeper than any physical wound.

Julie cried harder, feeling the weight of everything she had gone through in the past year—the abuse in the Red Room, the constant struggle to adapt, the loneliness of not having a family. She wanted so badly to belong somewhere, but every time she thought she had found a place, something reminded her that she was still that broken, lost kid.She didn't hear the door creak open. She didn't notice Natasha, Wanda, and Maria slipping into the room, their faces etched with concern. They had seen Julie disappear after dinner, and when they realized she hadn't come back, they went looking for her.Now, as they stood in the doorway, watching Julie's small form shaking with sobs, their hearts broke for her.

Without saying a word, Natasha crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She gently placed a hand on Julie's back, rubbing soft, soothing circles. Julie flinched at first, startled by the touch, but when she realized who it was, she collapsed into Natasha's side, her sobs growing louder. Natasha wrapped her arms around Julie, holding her tightly.

Wanda and Maria joined them, sitting on either side of the bed, their eyes filled with sadness and concern. They didn't say anything—they didn't need to. They just sat there, offering their silent support, letting Julie cry out all the pain she had been holding inside.For the first time in a long time, Julie didn't feel completely alone.