Once Upon a Time in Storybrooke - OUAT DR

Chapter 7 - A Mother's Guidance

I still felt guilty about leaving Hook behind. 

We found a place where we could come up with a game plan and made camp for what remained of the night. I wondered if Hook had woken up yet, if he was, at this very moment, making his way down the beanstalk. I wondered if he would forgive me, if Anton the giant had passed along my apology, and my explanation.

Emma and I had proved ourselves at least semi-competent, according to Mulan, which earned us the great honor of getting a turn in the watch rotation. While Aurora went to go lay down and try and sleep the rest of us found ways to busy ourselves around camp. 

I noticed Snow - my mom - sitting on a hill not too far off. Although I might not have been ready to talk to her about the feelings of guilt I had been carrying around with me since the curse broke, or about my life growing up, I did find myself wanting to talk to her about the Hook of it all. Before I had even gotten the chance to think it through I found myself walking over to where she was and sitting down next to her on the grassy hill.

I wanted to confide in her, get her advice and guidance, maybe just to talk to my mom about the boy I might like, you know? I had always had the desire to talk to "my mom," but never had a mom I could talk to, seek advice, comfort, or guidance from - even when my fake-mom was at her best, I had only ever been her little best friend or doll, never her daughter. 

Snow could tell I was struggling and asked what was wrong after I had sat there for a few minutes not being able to get the words out, pulling up clumps of grass. But once she asked, it was like the floodgates opened. I asked her if I had made the right choice with Killian, giving her a very edited version of events but admitting to potential feelings he stirred up in me being completely foreign, that I ultimately concluded despite whatever feelings I may have been feeling I still couldn't trust him and risk her and Emma and our way home, and decided to leave him up on the beanstalk. 

Sure, I could find a million and one ways to rationalize the decision to do so, but at the end of the day, I left him there because I was terrified of what would happen if we spent more time together, if I had trusted him, of the pity that would be in his eyes once he knew my story - who I really was - and run screaming for the hills.

They all did.

Snow listened patiently and without judgment, actually being really kind and comforting about it all, but she agreed that I should always follow my gut instinct. "Love comes from the most unexpected sources at the most unexpected of times, after all." She assured me that we were family, and no matter what, all they wanted was what was best for me and brought me happiness. It might take some convincing, but if it was love, it was worth taking the risk to find out. "Love is always worth the risk." 

I decided if Killian crossed our path again I'd apologize, even if Anton had already done so on my behalf, and see if he was willing to forgive me for leaving him behind and see what could come from a fresh start between the two of us. See if he was worthy of my affections and trust. If I was worthy of his. If he even had any affections for me in the first place. If my abandonment atop the beanstalk hadn't obliterated whatever I had felt beginning to grow between us. 

Snow reminded me that she and my father, Charming, had both betrayed and left each other, but no matter what happened they always found their way to one another. If it was love, if we were both willing to fight for it, fate would find a way.

Emma came over to where we were sitting and told us Mulan had some ideas on where Cora might be hiding, asking what we were doing and if everything was okay. Snow didn't mention anything about our talk, just that we were having some bonding time and I flashed her an appreciative smile as we got up and headed over to where Mulan was, eager to focus on actually doing something rather than my messy emotions. 

My fake-mom would have blabbed about everything I had said plus adding in some extra details to the first person she came across. But Snow? Snow listened to me without judgment and gave me sound advice and guidance, and, even though Emma was my twin sister and I hadn't told Snow I wasn't comfortable with her knowing, Snow instinctively just trusted me to talk to Emma, and subsequently, anyone else for that matter, about it when, and if, I was ready. And it felt nice to talk to her, my mom. 

As Mulan talked I bounced from foot to foot, unable to stand being stagnant in this place, the Enchanted Forest. It was like an energy was thrumming through my veins and my blood knew I was home. Sitting still and doing nothing was not the vibe.

Aurora - whom Snow had explained earlier that evening had been under a sleeping curse and was having nightmares and not sleeping because of it - woke up screaming for Snow. The two had apparently bonded while I was up on the beanstalk, according to Emma, also earlier that evening as we were hiking to find camp. 

My guess for the closeness between the two women? I hadn't been around for Snow to take care of, and Emma was still being somewhat weird towards her - although they were admittedly much closer than they had been a few days ago when we woke up in this realm - so she had taken to caring for Aurora. 

Snow was inherently good, always thinking of others before herself. Even with her memories returned, the Mary Margaret Blanchard kindness and desire to help remained unchanged, making me think that had always been Snow peaking out from behind her cursed self, proving she had always been there. 

Not even The Dark Curse could take that away from her. 

Aurora told us about the nightmare where she had met a boy named Henry in the firey room that haunted her sleeping hours and caused her to wake up in a panic. This nightmare had been different, and Henry had put out the fire in the room and given her his name before she had woken up.

Emma and I looked at each other in shock. There was absolutely no way it could be our Henry, right? 

But no, it wasn't a coincidence. Somehow, someway, Henry and Aurora were both in the same room, part of the same nightmare, and I had a feeling it was somehow related to the sleeping curse they had both been victims of.