Seraphine Live in Demacia!

Steel My Heart

I hope you are reading this chapter, but I understand if you're not. Things are looking really bad for me and I'm sure it's very traumatizing for you to read. We probably need a trigger warning.

TRIGGER WARNING: Bad things are happening to Seraphine.

"I'm back from my recess," Tianna announced.

I haven't had recess since I was 11. Being a judge must be a cushy job.

"Taking Skarner's testimony into account..." Tianna began.

"Objection! Creepy icky scorpion thing!" Lux shouted.

"Overruled," Tianna said, looking even more angry than usual, and that's saying a lot. "I think I've heard more than enough today. This ridiculous case is taking away from our true mission as peaceful law abiding Demacians, which is smashing Noxus into a bloody pulp."

I shed tears of despair and sorrow. Not just because I was going to jail but because I would never be able to bring peace between Demacia and Noxus.

"Your honor, the defendant is crying," Lux said. "You let the creepy scorpion cry. Doesn't the defendant get a chance to influence the jury with non-admissible but jury-swaying tears?"

"The jury is a bunch of card board cutouts of our ruthless  enemy."

"Objection!" Draven shouted. "Ruthless and sexy enemy."

"I'll allow it," Tianna said. "Ruthless and sexy enemy. Regardless, the jury isn't influenced by your glittery tears, Ms. Seraphine and neither is the judge."

A bird flew into the courtroom carrying a scroll in its talon. It landed in front of Tianna.

"What is this, Valor?" Tianna asked the bird. She unwrapped the scroll. "It says that five people are here to testify  for Seraphine. We've had more that enough witnesses. I'm about to make my decision and, spoiler alert, Seraphine is not going to like it very much."

TRIGGER WARNING: Verdict that Seraphine isn't going to like very much.

Valor, the raven or crow or whatever kind of bird it is, shrugged it's winged shoulders and flew back to its master, Quinn. Quinn is normally a Demacian guard, but now she's stuck being the bailiff and writing scrolls for her bird to deliver. Quinn wrote another message and sent it to the judge.

"We need to find a more efficient method of communicating than this silly bird that's molting all over my robe," Tianna said. "Regardless, I will read it. Hmm. It says that it's not five witnesses for Seraphine. It's actually five pizza delivery men. Let the record show that I love anchovies. Allow them in."

Five super hot pizza delivery guys strutted in the courtroom wearing their Demacios outfits. Demacios is like Dominos in Demacia. This is a really awful joke and I'm starting to realize why Dazzling Amy isn't getting too many likes or comments on her story.

In true porno fashion, they all threw aside their empty pizza boxes and stripped down to their speedos.

"OMG!" I shrieked. "It's Heartsteel, my favorite boy band ever! Though I wish they really had pizzas. I'm hungry."

"Hey, Ixtal! We're so glad to be here in our favorite city!" Ezreal said.

"I think this is Demacia," K'sante said.

"Thank god. Ixtal sucked," Ezreal nodded. "Hey, Demacia! Were so glad to be in our favorite city!"

"Let's introduce ourselves to our fans who already know who we are!" Sett said. "I'm Sett."

Sett has those sexy chiseled abs. They pretty much speak for themselves.

"I'm Ezreal! I had a one hit wonder, did a lot of coke, went bankrupt and am now with Heartsteel because I need the money."

"I'm Yone. I used to be a DJ/producer but that kind of fell through and I had to take a job delivering pizzas. That's where we got these outfits. I'm also with Heartsteel because I need the money."

"I'm K'Sante, the guiding force behind this band, and I also need the money."

"I'm Kayn/Rhaast and I've got plenty of cash money. I just want to kill Heartsteel fans."

"I love the bad boys!" I shouted blowing him a kiss. He could kill me anytime.

Aphelios didn't say anything. This was a good thing because we just want to see them sing and shake their tight asses.

"We've written a song about Seraphine because we're hoping she'll sleep with us," Ezreal said. "Also because she's innocent of whatever they said she did. It was hard thinking of words that rhyme with Seraphine but we're a boy band and there's nothing we can't do."

Quinn was stuck turning on the background beats and vocals so Hearsteel could lipsynch. Being a bailiff is a thankless job.

"Seraphine! Red Bean! Really Mean! Sam and Dean!" Heartsteel sang while gyrating in their G-strings. 

The women went wild. The guy guys went wild. Even the straight guys and lesbians went wild. So did the pansexuals, asexuals, furries and everyone else under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. That's how hot Heartsteel is.

"Blue Jean, Horny Teen, Frankensteen!"

"You forgot Queen!" Lux shouted.

They never got to sing that best part of the song because steel steeled Heartsteel's hearts. Draven threw blades at each one of them and they fell to the ground.

"We...love...you...Demacia..." Ezreal gasped before his super sexy corpse (in a non necrophilia way) slumped to a ground.

It may have been Hearsteel's last performance but they went out with a bang.

"Now it's time for the main event!" Draven announced. He also stripped down and started dancing. Everyone forgot all about Heartsteel. Even Tianna, who hated Noxus, was busy sticking dollar bills in Draven's g-string.

Draven can't sing but no one seemed to care. But will they still care whether I deserve to go free? I guess you'll have to read the next chapter.

Hey! Read the next chapter!

When it comes out!

Not now because I haven't written it yet.

I wonder if anyone even reads my comments.