State of Mind

17

Marcy's POV:

They didn't move but they hesitated taking a step, debating whether I'd bite their head off if they got any closer, feeling the cool air deep in my lungs and smelling the odor of the smoke I took a deep breath then rubbed my temples shutting my eyes feeling them dry up

I heard crunching and presences in either side of me

"Let me guess, you're gonna interrogate me, ask what and why I'm back here doing and a lotta things that's usually asked, Please just get them over with"

I didn't feel like hearing any of the dang question of worried remarks, this feeling built up in my chest of ...hate and hostility towards them, I don't know why, These feelings keep taking over

Maybe Im Bipolar?? I wasn't diagnosed..tho I was never tested, but I never had any of these symptoms till recently.

"No, we were just worried when you didn't come back and if you were ok or not"

Anne looked at me while Sasha stayed quiet, she had her arms dangling with her hands in her sweatpants pockets

I didn't dare look in either of their directions feeling the fear rose of what's going to happen, Im scared of what they'll say and think but I also don't care. It's odd.

"Well now you know I'm perfectly fine. You don't have to worry anymore."

"Well-"

"You're NOt "Perfectly fine". And you shouldnt tell us when we can or cannot be worried. We're your friends and I'm your girlfriend so damn right we're allowed to be concerned."

That was unexpected but I expected her to snap sooner or later dealing with all my bullshit. I don't blame her honestly.

Sasha had a "bitch who the fuck do you think you are?" Look and was leaning out and down so she'd make eyes contact with me but I only kept staring forward and not at anything particular

Anne didn't say anything else and the air was tense, it's like something in me flipped a switch and instantly I finally felt sorry and apologized first

'Try your best and stop being an ass, they're trying to be there for you and the worst thing you can do for them right now is pick on them, Just try to not take your anger out on them, For my sake ..please....'

I was surprised I heard from Darcy, they've been so quiet I thought they'd never speak again, I felt my eyes widen and that sense where I know my eyes are glowing big only for a second

"*Sigh"....you're right, I shouldn't tell you how to feel and I should be more considerate of your feelings. I'm sorry."

Sasha only sighed lowered by her head crossing her arms and leaning back against the wall, Anne looked concerned by gave me a small smile

"That's ok, Apology accepted ....I'll give you two some space, I'll head back first haha, it's quite chilly out here, see y'all ..."

Awkwardly saying Bye she then left and it was just the two of us, I didn't bother saying anything else and let her be mad, not like I wasn't used to the silent treatment but tho this time it was Sasha so it was more agonizing than usual

A quiet minute passed before she spoke to me, I was knocked out of my thinking and came back to my surrounding catching what she said to me

"...when did you start?"

"Uhh Start..?"

She nodded at the knife and lighter that I now put in my pants wait band on my back, just cause my shorts didn't have pockets

"My ass?"

She gave me a look and I stopped joking, I sighed and looked the other way having no fun in the jokes