Failing For You - Gojo x Reader

Chapter 10

"What do you want, Sukuna?"

His voice on the other side of the door goes silent. It's a deafening type of silence. 

I'm standing in front of the door, imagining him standing there on the other side. 

"Please let me in. I need to talk to you. I'm not going to hurt you, I swear on my life," he said, but I'm not dumb enough to mistake the urgency in his voice as sincerity. 

"Talk to me through the door. You don't need to see me," I shoot back, clenching my jaw. I can't stop thinking about the way he smells. 

"Please, Y/n, I want to see you," his voice says softly on the other end. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. 

"I don't fucking trust you, Sukuna," I breathe, my voice breaking a little. "You hurt me, you know that right? You tore my hair out and I have bruises all over my arms."

He's silent for a moment. "Let me see them."

"No."

"Baby, I will do anything. I will do anything to make you forgive me."

"Do you think I fucked that other guy, Gojo?" I swipe a tear from my cheek. 

Silence again. It's so clear he thinks I did. It's so clear he didn't trust a word I said the other day. It's so clear that he doesn't respect me. 

"It's okay if you did," he says gently, like he thinks that's what I wanted to hear.

"I want you to leave," I try to steel my voice. "I'll call you when I'm ready to talk."

"You blocked me, Y/n. You're never going to talk to me again if I leave now."

He's right.

I have to get to work soon. 

Should I just let him in?

"If I let you in, you have five minutes. No more than that. Then you're gone," I reply. My hand hovers over the lock on my door. 

"Deal."

Taking a deep breath and wiping under my eyes, I unlock the door, my hands shaking. When I pull it open, there he is. 

Everything about him is familiar. I recognize the shirt he's wearing, the cologne he has on. I see that he's got his second-favorite pair of shoes on. I know everything about this horrible man. Years of my life have been spent on him and I can't help the way that I respond to him. I bite my lip, backing up to the couch. I don't turn my back on him as he pulls the door shut, following me to the living room. 

"Sit down," I say, motioning to the couch. 

His eyes flick over my body in a way that I try to ignore as he sits down like I instructed. 

"Talk."

He nods, rubbing his hand over his jaw. "I'm so sorry, Y/n. Genuinely, I am so sorry. I was on something that day. It was something Jogo gave me and he didn't tell me---nevermind. That doesn't matter. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I went about it all wrong, but I just want you to have an easy life where you don't have to worry about anything. I know how tough things are for you with school, your brother, your mom...and I wasn't a good boyfriend. I never treated you the way I should have, but I always listened to what you would tell me. I love listening to you talk and it killed me to see you work so hard all the time for people who treat you like shit."  

I stare at him. I did not expect this. Somehow, I did not expect him to say these things. I know he's saying anything to get me to believe him, but...

"You're beautiful and so perfect and I don't deserve you," he sighs, looking down at his hands. "But that doesn't stop me from loving you. I'm not a good guy...but I love you."

My hands shake as I move around the couch to sit next to him. "I know you don't love me, Sukuna. This isn't love. You don't hurt the people you love like you hurt me."

His eyes move to my arms, where the bruises still show. Hesitantly, he reaches out. I flinch when his fingers touch my arm. He inspects the damage he's dealt me and I start to cry. 

Oh God, I don't want this...

I almost prefer him to be rough over being gentle like this. 

"What do I have to do to make it up to you," he murmurs, fingers on my skin. 

"Nothing," I whisper. "There's nothing you can do to fix this."

He looks at me and I purse my lips, trying to stay strong. "Nothing?"

"Nothing..." I say, but my gaze drops to his lips.

I've always had the suspicion that I deserve all of the terrible things that happen to me. Bad decisions lead to bad consequences. Distantly, I wonder when I'll my lesson.