Swan's Fire

3. I'm The Most Dedicated Out There

The night I arrived home, I pushed the door open and let it slam shut behind me. In my opinion, it was a loud, resounding slam, and I half-expected the vase beside me to shake and topple, but the room remained still. Tonight, I had an announcement to make, so I called out for my mother.

"In the kitchen!" she yelled from somewhere within the house. I furrowed my brows, finding it hard to believe her claim, as I didn't smell anything cooking. I made my way to the kitchen, where I found her sipping on a glass of wine. I raised a skeptical brow.

"Welcome home, darling," she greeted me, her tone relaxed and casual. We weren't used to talking like this, so there was no expectation of a comfortable conversation.

"I've had such a long day," she began, taking another sip of her wine. "I went to get my hair done, and the regular lady wasn't there. So I said I wanted a bleach and tone, and of course, the new girl didn't know what that meant. I had to get the manager involved."

"Mom," I interjected quietly, trying to get her attention. She continued her rambling, her voice growing louder.

"Mom!" I raised my voice a bit more to break through her monologue. She paused, her wine glass raised in her hand.

"What, sweetie?" she said, finally acknowledging my presence. I sighed and gathered my thoughts.

"I have something to tell you," I stated, and for once, she stayed quiet, her curiosity piqued. I hesitated briefly before revealing the news, "Mrs Kim, She promised to feature me more this season."

My mother's face transformed from shock to pride. "Well, she should. You've been there long enough," she said, pouting and taking another sip of her wine. I was taken aback by her unexpected support.

"And you're the most dedicated dancer in the company," she added, her praise leaving me a bit bewildered. "What will she give you?" she inquired.

I hesitated, knowing that her reaction might change once she knew. "White Swan," I admitted quietly.

She clattered her glass down, seemingly amazed. "Oh, White Swan!" she marveled, gliding around the counter and embracing me. The hug, however, felt cold, as if she were distant and detached. Her nails were sharp, and her designer clothes made her slippery to hold, lacking any warmth or grip.

"You must accept. It's a wonderful opportunity," she encouraged. I nodded, staring at her unattended glass of red wine. She shuffled off to reminisce in the pantry, muttering about her own "Swan Lake" days.

I quickly ascended the stairs, needing time to think. Something felt off, and it wasn't just my mother's unusual affection. I knew something was wrong because my mother never hugged me.

The studio was crowded, and the available spots at the barre were few and far between. With every space taken, I was left with no choice but to claim the solitary spot up front and furthest to the middle. We began our barre exercises, and as always, I couldn't help but observe what everyone was wearing.

Hannah, a girl who seemed to have the wealth of her daddy to support her, donned a different $40 leotard each week. The boys, in their unique leg warmers and flashy attire, drew attention with their fashionable choices. And then there was me, keeping it simple with leotards I'd had for as long as I could remember. On a good day, I might add a skirt, but it was a rare indulgence. Today, for some reason, I decided I deserved it.

As the class progressed, Mrs Kim, our passionate teacher, shouted instructions over the loud piano playing by the composer. "Faster, sharper, cleaner, feel it," she urged, and those were my favorite corrections for myself. Of course, I rarely received them, but they echoed in my head.

During grand battement, my legs flew to my shoulders, and Mrs Kim gave approving nods to the others as they walked by. Sweat rolled down my back as I felt her eyes on me during fondu allegro, as if she were testing the statement she had made, "I think you have potential."

I strained my muscles, pushing myself to achieve more than the average dancer. "I have potential," I reminded myself, the words echoing in my mind. I needed to show her that I could be the White Swan after all.

I allowed a small smile to form as I set a new average for myself every day. Perhaps, despite my plain leotards and modest attire, I had what it took to rise to the top of the ballet world, just as Mrs Kim believed.

During our 15-minute break, I seized the opportunity to slide myself into a split. It was a practice I engaged in daily, feeling nothing but the gradual stretch of my muscles. I positioned my bag underneath my outstretched leg, transforming it into a makeshift roller, then a chair, then a barre, and finally, a support against the wall. The process was almost meditative, a way to maintain my flexibility and focus.

As my pelvis met the mirror, I overheard some girl passing by muttering, "Is she crazy?" Her comment stung, but I brushed it aside, determined to remain focused. Such remarks had a way of throwing me off balance, and I couldn't afford to lose my composure.

"I'm so worried about Dani," I overheard Jacob's voice, naturally flamboyant and recognizable from a distance. He was part of a group a few meters away, engaged in their own hushed conversation.

"I hope she's okay," Jacob continued, and the group chimed in with their own concerns. "Has anyone visited her?" Kate inquired.

"Hm, I don't know," Jacob replied. "Last time I did, everyone's flowers had died because the nurse couldn't find enough vases to store them in. The only healthy one left was a rose."

The revelation seemed to captivate everyone, and I raised a skeptical brow, punishing myself for allowing my attention to wander. I moved closer to the mirror, a silent reminder to stay focused and not let the distractions around me derail my commitment to self-improvement.

In the world of ballet, focus and dedication were paramount, and I couldn't afford to be swayed by the idle gossip and concerns of others. My pursuit of perfection demanded unwavering discipline, and the mirror before me reflected not just my form but the iron will and determination that drove me to excel.

So I'd visit Danielle later..