Defenceless II One Direction

33. I'm still yours......

Hey you lovely people!!!

Season of festivals is here............ Wishing you all a very happy Diwali!!! Lots of lights and happiness for all of you <3 

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This is for all you dedicated readers!! Much Love <3 

Louis' POV

I gulped down the drink in my hand and rested my hands on the kitchen counter. God, why do I make things difficult for myself? I have no control over my emotions and feelings. If I want to get through this, I will have to keep these feelings and these desires aside. Harry is better off without me. Hell, I think everyone is better off without me. It's just a matter of two years and then it'll go back to where it was. I can't be weak now. I can't be selfish with Harry. He deserves the world, and I won't come in between him and his dreams. I shake my head in disappointment as I feel my cheeks wet.

Mum, please help me. I can't handle all this alone.

"Louis."

I felt my breath stuck in the throat as I heard my name from the person I didn't want to talk to.

"Are you okay?"

I quickly wiped my tears and tried to smile but I failed miserably as more tears streamed down my face. I hung my head low and clutched the glass in my hand. I felt a hand going up my back and resting on my shoulder.

"You don't have to hide your tears from your mother, son."

I was this close to breakdown, but I didn't want to create a scene or embarrass myself in front of everyone. I took a deep breath and wiped my tears. I pasted a small smile and turned towards the person standing in front of me with a concerned look.

"I'm absolutely fine, Anne. Thanks for asking. You're here; do you need something?" I asked politely while keeping my glass in the sink. The wait staff was coming in and out of the kitchen with empty trays, filling them with drinks and snacks and going back.

"Yes, I do need something." She said sharply.

"Let me know, I'll get that for you." I smiled curtly at her trying to focus on arranging the glasses on the trays and avoiding her gaze.

"I want my son back." She stated. I chuckled dryly.

"I'm sure your son is with you, Anne. Look there, it's Harry." I said pointing out to the living room. She gripped my elbow and turned me around, so I was facing her. She looked angry but her eyes were soft. I looked down.

"This is not a joke, Lou. Yes, I was talking about Harry, but I also want my other son back, which is you, Louis. I miss you so much, son." She whispered the last part with so much love and pain that I couldn't help but smile sadly. I looked up at her meeting her sad, teary eyes.

"I don't deserve to be your son, Anne." I whispered. She took a step closer to me.

"Of course, You're my son and will always be, Lou. I know I can't take the place of Jay, but I love you like a mother loves her son." Hearing my mother's name, a tear made its way out of my eyes and rolled down my cheek. She cooed and rubbed the tear away with her thumb.

"I'm sorry." I said turning away from her.

"Hey!" She says turning me to face her again. I just looked down holding my hands together.