Capricorn Christmas

Thousand Piece Puzzles

The nice thing about my birthday was the predictability and the calm. Even as young adults we got stockings: lip balm, soap, icy squares and the likes. My grandparents would be here promptly at ten for birthday brunch, and then we'd have angel food cake with whipped cream and berries. I liked going out for other peoples' birthdays, but I liked having mine all to myself.

After cake and coffee it was time to lounge. I wondered what time I would get my 'call' predicting early afternoon since I wasn't sure what Christmas Day Christmas people did. I pictured families scrambling down to their tree in the morning in their pjs and bed head tearing open presents like I'd seen on tv! "Ridiculous," I said to myself.

Even though we weren't opening gifts we had lots to do. I had a new book, my parents had saved the last couple weeks of crossword puzzles from the Leader Post and of course we had a thousand piece puzzle. As soon as the dishes from brunch and the table was dry, my mom would bring out the puzzle. This year was a ski lodge, colourful jackets and books thrown over oversized chairs in front of a blazing fire in a stone fireplace.

We would all be splitting our time between the books, the puzzles and our own endeavours for the remainder of the day grazing up on left overs when hunger pangs struck. This was a day for maximum relaxation and ice cold Coca Colas. My parents and Steph sat down to tackle the border first. Kerri was stretched out on the couch reading. With everyone committed to their tasks it was crossword time. There was nothing more satisfying than finishing a crossword, well maybe solving a crossword with a freshly sharpened pencil.

I was working my way through my first crossword and my mind kept wandering. My first run through the clues is always quick, then once my 'for sures' are in then I go back and start all over filling in as I can. It was funny Jared hadn't called yet? A quick look at the clock. It was only 1:30. I had an easier time convincing myself that I was pathetic for looking forward to it than I did convince myself that he wasn't going to call. I settled on pathetic and went back to my crossword until the horoscopes underneath drew my attention away from the puzzle.

Capricorn: Challenges lay ahead. Use your strategic mind instead of your emotional mind to look for clarity. "Hhhmp," I hadn't realized I'd been so loud. "Stuck," Kerri dropped her book looking at me. "Huh," I said. "Stuck on a clue," she clarified, "What's the clue?" "Oh no," there's no way I'd ever admit I was stuck, "I just read my horoscope." I shrugged looking back down at my crossword. "What is it?" she asked. "Dumb," I said. "Wanna Coke?" I was already getting out of my chair.

Without even really noticing it the few hours of sunlight had come and gone. The puzzle was half done. I had finished a big portion of the ski lodge Christmas tree nestled in one corner. I'd fifty pages of my book and had gone back to my crossword at least three times. Even though I had accomplished so much I was restless for that phone call. That stupid phone call. Restlessness was morphing into irritability right quick, and I often soothed irritability with food. Luckily, there was no shortage of that.

I made up a plate of just stuffing and gravy. Well to be honest all the stuffing and most of the gravy. "Holy," Steph was not afraid to be critical while keeping her tone light. "Did you leave any for the rest of us?" Looking down at the big plate of stuffing and had to admit it was pretty ridiculous. "Fine," I said as I scraped half of it back into the roaster, "this coming from the kid who cleaned out the pickle tray before supper even started last night." "Let's not dredge up the past," she said as she dished up beside me.

We were leaning up against the kitchen counters when Kerri came in and looked in the toaster. "We out of stuffing?" She frowned scanning the contents of our plates. She looked at the clock on the oven. "It's not even five o'clock," she said, "You guys are going to be starving by nine." Steph shrugged, "Then we'll eat again." There was no arguing with that logic.

With a bit of food in my belly I felt a bit more at ease. If he ended up calling this evening, I probably wouldn't sound annoyed that I'd waited all day and there was no way I was calling him. After all, he was the one who was into me. I could hear the huffiness even in my own thoughts and knew I had to get my mind on something else and fast. I knew exactly what I needed. I went to the big cabinet downstairs and traced my finger down the stack of board games.

Dad was having a snooze in his recliner, but my mom, Kerri and Steph were at the puzzle. I shook the box and all three looked up at me at the same time like deer sensing danger. "Scrabble anyone?" Kerri looked back down at the puzzle, "Ya no." I nodded it couldn't feel good getting your butt whipped by your younger sister over and over again. "One game." Steph was holding up a finger to drive the point home, and my mom was always game for anything. "Yeah yeah. One game. That's all I'll need," I set the box down on the table and started to set up.

Half an hour later Steph was parading the scoresheet to the refrigerator. "Mom, this needs to stay up on the fridge until next Christmas." I smiled hoping it didn't come off as a grimace. "Rematch? I literally pulled the worst letters all game. I don't think there was one time I didn't have three 'I's the whole game." My mom was already starting to put the board away. "Nope," yelled Steph from the kitchen, "I am the winner. I am the best Scrabble player in this whole house!" I succumbed but had to admit that this was not making me feel any better.

The evening came and went. My family disappeared into their bedrooms one at a time until it was just me. I had accepted that the call wasn't coming. I already knew how I'd act the next time I saw him, cool, reserved, unaffected. In a couple days time I was going to be "foot free and casty loose" as Steph called it and I didn't need someone wasting my time next semester. I was relieved I hadn't mentioned him to my family. I'd rather be miserable in solitude than embarrassed in front of my family.