Selfharm, Depression and the Janoskians

Chapter 4

Faith' POV:

My eyes slowly opened and I looked around. I had been sleeping on a bed with 5 other boys laying around the room. I slowly started to move and left the room.

Their house is huge by the way and finding the bathroom is like a real mission, I giggled at my own statement but finally, I found it.

I opened the door and locked it. Their bathroom was very huge as well but it was gorgeous too. They had a big bath and many mirrors.

"Ew" I said as I saw my own reflection around the room. I look so bad. I hate my morning hair, every time I wake up my hair is like wavy but not beautiful wavy. I hate it. I wish I had straight hair.
I looked around and found a brush and hair wax. I started brushing my hair and put it in a very tight bun with the help of wax. I love tight buns.

I left the bathroom and as soon as I got my bag I returned. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I wanted to shower but no thanks I am going to do that when I am home.

Wow home, I miss my home. I miss mom and dad so much. They meant the world to me and they made me so happy. Of course we were not a picture perfect family, but we were better then that. We were perfect for each other not for other people, with all the arguments we had and all the memories.

I didn't notice that tears were rolling down my cheek and I felt extreme emotional pain.

Sitting down on the ground everything came to mind from all the happy and amazing memories in my life to the bad experiences I had made and I am not just talking about my parents I am talking about everything in general, my whole life.

Why did I even start cutting myself? Was it really that necessary? Do I really deserve this? Should I get help?

I think of those questions a lot but then my mind changes in not even a second and the urge to selfharm gets stronger and stronger and stronger and then I don't know what to do. If I should regret that I even started selfharm or if I should just shut up and do it because it calms me down.

I stood up and got to my makeup bag, I histeracly searched for my razors.

Where are they?

I need them right now!

Silly me, why did I even tried to stay clean?

Am I really that dumb and can't find my own fucking razors.

My mind was a mess and my heart was racing so fast I thought it would fall out any moment.

"Ah here they are" I said released to myself. I pulled my sleeves up and looked at my arm for a second, it was full of cuts and scars. Seeing those made me even more mad and I started to cut.

One cut
Two cuts
Three cuts
Four cuts
.....................

Shit what have I done?

I looked around and the bathroom was full of blood,shit shit shit shit. How am I going to clean this up before the boys wake up?????

5 minutes later:

Everything is cleaned up besides the towel I used, what am I gonna do with it?

SHIT
There was a knock on the door.

"One second" I yelled

"Sure" from the sound of the voice it should be James.

SHIT SHIT SHIT

WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH THE FUCKING TOWEL I CANT JUST WALK OUT WITH IT BECAUSE HE WOULD NOTICE.

I have an idea.

I ran over to the cupboard and opened it and putted the whole behind ALL the things that were in it.
Hopefully they won't notice it soon.

I got all my things and unlocked the door.

"Hey James" I smiled

"Morning, and did you sleep well?" He asked looking right into my eyes.

"Yess thank you, what about you?"

"Me too, by the way faith, everyone besides jai is awake and they are all sitting in the garden so just go down the stairs, then walk the corridor right and you will see it" he smiled.

"Okay thanks James" I smiled back and left.

Daniel's POV:

"Hahahahahaha yea I thought the same thing" Luke laughed.

I wanted to say something but my eyes fell on Faith she looked very gorgeous, she had her hair in a tight bun and her clothes from yesterday but damn I would die in a hoodie now it's so hot.

"Morning boys" She slowly said and smiled slightly.

"Morning"

"Heyyy"

"What's up"

"Come sit down" Beau said pointing at a seat.

After 15 minutes of talking and James joining us, we decided to get some food.

"But what about Jai?" Faith asked.

"NOOOOOOOO WE CAN'T JUST FORGET ABOUT MY BEAUTIFUL TWIN!!!!!" Luke squeezed while laughing his ass of.

Everyone started laughing and we did laugh for a good 2 minutes.

"Wait I got an idea" Beau smirked.

"Let's prank him" he continued.

He told us his idea and it was great we all agreed and started setting things up.

Faith'  POV:

We are pranking Jai now I am excited and nervous at the same time haha, I never prank es anyone before and I mean I know the boys since like a day so they possibly could get mad at me for doing that well not the boys but like Jai because we are not really close friends that I can prank him when he still sleeps.

"Are you ready?" Beau asked us interrupting my thoughts.

"More then ready" Luke said with an excitement and daniel and james agreed.

"What about you?" Luke smirked

"Yes me too" I laughed.

We silently entered Jais Room, Luke and James removed all the electronic things like his phone, headphones, etc.

Beau came closer to his bed and poured ice cold water on him.

"Oh my; what the fuck guys" Jai said in a raspy voice while rubbing his eyes.

Everyone besides Jai started to have a laugh attack, including me.

Because even though I we scared Jai might be mad at me it still was funny as hell and to be honest I would have looked like the most lame person EVER if I wouldn't have laughed at it.

"Cunts" Jai laughed.

You could see that he wasn't pissed and before someone could say anything else we all found ourselves being pushed on jais bed while he hugged us all (because he was so wet) and within a few seconds we found ourselfs having a wet pillow fight.