The Beast's Roast

2

As time went by Carlos grew resentful towards his father, it seemed he was two different people at times, sometimes he was a kind man, who put his children's welfare before anything else in the world, but most times he was a drunk abusive man, who would not miss a chance to reprehend his son at the slightest out of place comment.

Carlos had learnt to take the blows, but most importantly he had learned to keep them away from his sister, making up stories as to why he had bruises on his face or why he would always ask her to stay in her room when their father started to drink his "fun juice". Carlos didn't like his father, but he didn't want Maya to grow up resenting him as well, he had his mother's memory to keep him company, but Maya had nothing, the least he could do was help her keep some nice memories of their father.

Sometimes he couldn't help but feel guilty, he knew his father had tried his best, giving them everything he could while also hiding the pain of losing the person he loved the most, he also couldn't help but wonder what had changed that made him act that way, maybe he was always like that but their mother's presence kept him at bay, maybe he used to be that way but had changed for her, and now that she was gone there weren't enough reasons to keep going. But if that was it, that leaves the question. Weren't his children enough of a reason to keep that change? did they matter that little?

Carlos could keep pondering all day and night, those thoughts consuming his head. leaving little room for sleep. He also missed his mother, but that didn't change who he was. did it? How much can love change a person? He didn't know. Carlos Ramirez wasn't the type to fall in love, he had never even kissed a girl. Not that he didn't get any chances, he just wasn't interested. And now seeing what losing love could do to a person, lets just say his interest wasn't rising.

Carlos? - a voice interrupted his nightly pondering, he sat up on his bed and looked at the door, his little sister was standing there rubbing her eyes. - Can I sleep with you?

Hey Frijolito, of course you can.. - he moved to the side and patted the empty space next to him, Maya climbed on the bed and rested her head on her brother's pillow, she closed her eyes and started to drift into sleep. Carlos just looked at her with a small smile on his face.

Things went quiet for a while, but Carlos couldn't help but notice his sister had trouble falling asleep. He was about to ask her if something was wrong, but before he could say anything she started to cry.

I had that scary dream again.- Maya spoke softly, almost whispering, her voice breaking with every word.

The one with the big monster chasing you?- Maya had told Carlos about this nightmare before, as far as he knew, it had started a few weeks after the first altercation he had with his father. - Did he catch you this time?

No - Maya shook her head - Mamá protected me, she made the scary monster turn into butterflies - Maya said softly, her eyes still closed, her dark curly hair falling on her face, Carlos stroked it gently and smiled.

That does sound like something mom would do...she was very brave. - Carlos made a small pause as he stared at his sister's face with a smile - You remind me of her sometimes

Maya became quiet, her eyes opened softly as she sat up and looked down. Carlos could see that what he had said upset her, but he couldn't understand why.

That's what daddy says too. When he gets angry. - She raised her head and stared into her big brother's eyes- are you angry at me too? - she sniffled, tears still in her eyes.

Carlos's eyes opened wide as plates as his sister asked him that question, part of him felt angry that his father had turned the memory of his mother into a negative feeling for his sister. But he mostly felt sad that Maya could ever think that looking like the most amazing woman in the world could be a bad thing. He got closer to her and put a hand gently on her shoulder, staring kindly into her eyes.

Frijolito. Of course I'm not mad, I could never be mad at you. And the fact that you could even think that breaks my heart - He felt himself frown, he put his thumb on her cheek and stroked it gently- You are the most wonderful person i know, and if i tell you that you remind me of mom, it's because she was pretty wonderful too.

Tears ran down Maya's cheeks as her brother spoke, she sniffled and leaned forward to hug him. Carlos hugged her back, he felt her head resting on his shoulder and smiled. They stayed in that hug for a while.

You have to go to sleep now. - He said softly as he put Maya back into bed and tucked her in, He could see she was frowning

I'm scared, Carlos. What if the monster comes back?

Then mom will scare it away again. And I'll be here too, okay?

Maya smiled and closed her eyes - You're the best big brother in the world. - she spoke softly before closing her eyes and going to sleep.

Carlos stared at her as she slept, he leaned his head against the wall while he sat on the bed and let out a small sigh, he turned his head at the ceiling and started to think about his mother, he wondered what she would do in situations like that and if he was doing the right thing, Sometimes he felt more like Maya's father than her brother, which he honestly didn't mind. He'd rather have her seeing him as a paternal figure than their actual father.

He finally laid down next to her and closed his eyes, his dark curly hair spread across his pillow and covering parts of his face. He fell asleep thinking about what Maya had said about their father getting angry at the memory of their mother. shouldn't it be a good thing that parts of her remain here? He should treasure them instead of resenting them, once again he left the thought alone, for he didn't know that much about love.