The Beast's Roast

4

weeks went by, neither of them touched the subject again. Carlos noticed his father's behavior had changed, he seemed less angry at life, but he still was unhappy. Maybe now it wasn't anger that he was feeling, it was sadness, melancholy. They still argued, he still hit him from time to time, but not in the same way as before.

whenever they fought before it felt like they fought to win, to prove the other one wrong, but now it just felt like they fought because they forgot how to talk. Carlos felt like sometimes his father avoided him out of spite, but now it felt like he just made him sad.

Those last weeks Carlos had focused on doing good in school, after all he was close to graduating from high school, and seeing how things were going economically in his house, he wanted to have a good enough GPA to get a scholarship or at least go to a good public college. He was still looking at careers, he knew he loved math and science, he just had to find a career that suited his interests, at the time the one that got the closest was biomedical engineering, he had done some research and found a few public colleges near his home, that way he wouldn't need to leave Maya alone, he had also looked into some private schools. Those were a bit far, but he had some money saved up and he planned to buy a car.

Things like these excited him, he didn't like his present life, so thinking about his future made him feel better, imagining independence, freedom, those things gave him hope, or at least they did until he remembered the small sister factor of it all. He couldn't help but feel guilty whenever he thought about leaving Maya alone just so that he could go to college. ideally he wouldn't have to, but one should always consider all of his options.

He had thought about taking Maya with him if he had to leave, but realistically that would be really expensive and college was already expensive enough. He thought about getting a job as he studied, but that would leave him very little time to do other things, those things including taking care of his little sister. no matter what solution he came up with, there always seemed to be a problem.

He had thought about leaving without caring about anyone else but himself, and although he secretly wished he didn't care, he did. He cared so much he was willing to go to a mediocre college if that meant he could stay close to take care of his sister, he just hated the thought of leaving her to fend for herself, without him to protect her in case that awful man tried to hurt her. But he also couldn't help but wonder if he'd actually do it.

Carlos had managed to stop every altercation between Maya and her father, if she broke a plate, he would take the blame, if she got bad grades he would forge his father's signature so he didn't punish her, he would also tutor Maya to make sure she would get better grades next time, if she made a mess he would clean it, and he also made sure the interactions between the two of them were minimal and that if they had to happen he could be there to make sure everything was okay.

When he thought about it he couldn't help but consider that maybe he was overreacting a bit, he hadn't actually seen him hurt her. But he also couldn't help but think back to the day his father first found comfort on the drinks, how angry he got the moment he saw Maya, and how he looked more than ready to hurt her if Carlos hadn't stepped in to intervene. But he couldn't know what would've happened, he doesn't actually remember what happened after he stepped between them. He just remembers feeling afraid and he remembers Maya's fearful eyes, he never wanted her to feel that way again, which is why he felt compelled to stay.

He knew he was smart enough to do well no matter what school he went to, but he was also ambitious, he wanted the best for himself, but he was unsure whether that ambition was worth sacrificing the well being of the person he loved the most , he just had to wait what to see what would happen and to further evaluate his choices to make sure he was doing the right thing.