I'm Just A Kid

Chapter 4: Earth Skills

We had been walking for what felt like forever.

At first, I'd tried to count the minutes, but somewhere around the forty minute mark I'd given up. There was only so long I could keep pretending the numbers mattered when every part of me was starting to hurt. My feet were sore, my shoulders ached, and my legs felt heavier with every step. I kept telling myself it was fine, that everyone else was tired too, that I had no reason to complain. I didn't want anyone looking at me and seeing exactly what they expected to see when they looked at a twelve year old. Someone who needed carrying. Someone who would slow them down. Someone they had to protect.

I couldn't be that person.

The forest seemed determined to make the journey as miserable as possible. Roots twisted across the ground, branches caught at my clothes, and every few steps I had to duck beneath something hanging low enough to smack me in the face. Leaves brushed against my skin and twigs scraped my arms, leaving little stinging marks that I ignored. The ground was uneven beneath my boots, constantly forcing me to watch where I stepped.

I didn't complain once.

I wanted to.

God, I wanted to.

There were moments when I wanted to stop, sit down beneath one of the enormous trees and tell everyone that I couldn't do it anymore. But every time that thought entered my head, I remembered Clarke looking at me and telling me to stay behind. I remembered Finn calling me a kid. I remembered Bellamy grabbing my arm and threatening to take my wristband off himself.

I remembered exactly how it felt to be treated like I was incapable.

So I kept walking.

At some point, the trees had stopped looking different from one another. Every trunk seemed identical, every patch of tangled undergrowth blending into the next, and I had completely lost any sense of direction. I wouldn't have known how to get back if someone had asked me. The thought made my stomach tighten.

We were lost.

Or at least I was.

The only thing keeping me convinced we were actually going somewhere was Finn, who seemed to know exactly what he was doing and seemed completely at home. He moved through the forest with an ease I couldn't understand, stepping over roots without hesitation and examining things that looked completely meaningless to me.

He moved ahead of us, studying the ground every few steps. Occasionally he'd crouch down and examine a broken branch or a patch of disturbed earth.

I watched him for a while.

I couldn't help it.

Part of me was fascinated by him. He seemed so confident, even when I knew there was every reason for him not to be. Maybe that was what being brave actually looked like. Maybe it wasn't about not being scared. Maybe it was about acting like you knew what you were doing even when every instinct in your body was screaming at you to turn around.

Until Finn suddenly stopped.

The rest of us nearly walked into him. I stopped myself just before hitting Clarke and leaned around her shoulder to see what he was looking at.

"What?"

Finn pointed toward a broken branch and a patch of disturbed earth.

"Someone's been through here."

Wells looked impressed.

I looked at Finn.

"So you actually do know where you're going?"