FIDAA | (On Hold till Indefinite Time)

CHAPTER - 22

"Aadhrit ye kya halat bana rakhi hai tune apni? Fir se tune whi sab shuru kar diya?" Rudra shouted in anger.

" Tune fir se khud ko chot pahuchana shuru kar diya. Ye sab band ho gaya tha na beech me? Ab tujhe kya takleef hai? Teri Aahana to ab tere saath hai na?" Said Ridhaan

Both the friends had visited Aadhrit to meet him today. But upon seeing him they were shocked to his condition. The all time perfect Aadhrit Singh Rathore, the man who was literally a walking perfectionist whose not even a strand of hair was out of place was sitting with red eyes, hairs all messed up and busted knuckles. He was in such a vulnerable condition that whoever saw him was just shocked.

He slowly chuckled and said " Yhi to baat hai. Wo mere saath zaroor hai par mere paas nahi. Mere kareeb hokar bhi wo mujhse bahut door hai. Mere saamne hokar bhi wo mere pass nahi h. Aur shayad iss sabka zimmedaar bhi mai khud hi hoon."

"Ye kya keh raha hai tu. Teri ab usse shaadi ho gayi hai. To ab kya hi dikkat ho sakti h. Ab to wo hamesha ke liye hi tere pass hai. Tune kya ab tak usse apne dil ki baat nahi batayi?"

"Meri zindagi ke kuch aise panne hai jinhe dobara palatne par sirf dard hi mil sakta hai. Vo mere raaz hai to itne saalon tak maine apne andar dafan kar rakhe hai. Un baaton ka dobara zikr karna aur ek darawani hakikat jeena usse accha hai ki mai iss bhulaave me hi rahu."

"Usse mai vo baatein kabhi nhi pata chalne dunga. Nhi pta chalne dunga ki mai kitna bikhara hua hun. Nahi usse mai khud se nafrat karne dunga. Mujhe usse door rehna manzoor hai magar usko kareeb laake mai uski aankhon mein apne liye wo jazbaat jinse mujhe sakth nafrat hai mai vo nahi dekh paunga. Kabhi bhi nahi..."

"To kya hamesha usse iss jhooth me rakhega. Khud se door rakhega. Agar tujhe usse apne kareeb hi nahi aane dena tha to tune shaadi hi kyo ki usse? Kyo uski zindagi kharab ki. Uski bhi to kuch expectations hongi na, kuch sapne honge? Kyo tune uske saath aisa kiya. Why the fuck did you become so selfish Aadhrit?" Shouted Rudra

"I know that I'm selfish. I know I acted in such a way and took the most grave decision of my life. Par mai kya karta. Kam se kam abhi vo mere pass to rehti hai. Uski awaaz to sun leta hun. Usse nazar bhar dekh to leta hun. Usko mehsoos to kar paata hun. Mere liye ye kaafi hai. Itna bahut hai mere liye apni zindagi guzaarne ke liye. Mere nazar ke saamne hai vo. Bas bahut hai. Aur ha ab mujhe iss baare me aur koi baat nhi karni hai. Hogaya bas."

"Aadhrit tu aise baat nhi khatam kar sakta hai. Ye sab tere liye kaafi hai par uske liye nhi. Vo to tere sahare aayi hai yaar. Teri dulhan ban ke aayi hai. Usse bhi to chahiye ki koi ho jo usse comfort kare. She needs some warmth and comfort to be settled and you literally just left her. This is so not done."

"You know in your marriage when me and Rudra came across Aahana's mother what she told us. She said that Aahana is living alone just after from class 12. She has been living in a hostel all her life and her mother was happy that she would come out of her shell and mingle with your family and get to experience some good moments. She told us that YOUR AAHANA has always been so passionate about her work and dreams that she just left everything to achieve them but now she would be giving some time to herself also and she said 'I AM RELIEVED THAT AADHRIT WILL BE THERE WITH HER BECAUSE I TRUST HIM.' AND YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING HERE..."

After this huge outburst of Ridhaan he just left the place with Rudra

 It was the first time that the walls of his office had seen him crying. A full fledged crying. Tears after tears came out from his eyes and he could do nothing. He just wanted comfort and the only way he could have been comforted was by doing the thing he had not done in months now. 

From the lowermost drawer of his desk he took out the pack of cigarettes and the lighter which he had hidden from himself as he never vowed to smoke again but never forgot to replace the packets for satisfaction.