it's a bad idea right? | g.abrams

19. best new artist

Its the day of the Grammys.

The day I finally see Gracie Abrams.

I've decided it do my own makeup and hair today. Well did I really decide? I have a nasty bruise on my collarbone that hasn't gone away, so I would need to cover it up myself, not a makeup artist. I like being alone on days like this and I'm fairly good at hair and makeup so it shouldn't be a big deal.

A few hours later Taylor gets to my place. We've packed up everything, tommorow the movers are coming to get everything and I'll be moved into my new house.

I'm scared what Jackson will do when he gets here on monday and sees an empty apartment, the only thing inside being a restraining order. But I try not to think about it as today is the day I've been waiting for my whole life.

I get into to SUV Taylor is riding in, and we drive to where the event is taking place.

"It's going to be overwhelming at first, but you will get used to it after a few minutes. People are going to be asking you all sorts of questions, but try to only answer the ones about your album or how your doing today." Taylor says, trying to help me know what it will be like.

"God I'm going to the grammys."

"Yes you are!" Taylor squeals. "I promise I won't be mad if you beat me for album of the year."

"Yeah as if I will win anything."

"Come on! Believe in yourself. Your album is incredible. You are my best new artist."

I laugh and take a deep breathe before stepping out of the car.

Taylor was right, it's very overwhelming. There's people shouting everywhere and camera flashes every second, but I love it.

"Emma what will you be preforming tonight?"

"I'll be preforming my song that's coming out at midnight, You aren't mine and another one you'll have to wait and see!"

I answer a few more questions and pose for a lot of pictures before walking into the actual venue.

I look at the seating chart and see that's I'm sitting with Liv and Billie Ellish, along with some other names I recognize. Gracie is at the table next to mine.

I walk in and spot Olivia right away and she waves me over.

"Emmy!!" She says as she hugs me. "Have you met Conan before?"

"No I don't think so! Hi Conan! Olivia talks about you all the time."

"Yeah she dosent stop talking about you! You are even prettier than she says."

Olivia blushes. "I never said that. Conan shut up."  Conan keeps talking, but I see the browned hair girl that I tried not to think about in the corner of my eye.

"Sorry, I should go talk to Jack, i'll be back!"

I walk over to where Taylor, Jack, and Aaron Desner are standing, talking.

"Emma!" Jack says. "Aarron, this is Emma, my adopted child."

"So nice to meet you! I love your work, your so talented."

"Nice to meet you too! I think your album is one of my favorites that Jack has ever produced."

"Thank you so much. That means so much coming from you."

I think Taylor can tell that somethings up so she grabs my hand. "Hey Emma I think I'm going to go to the bathroom before it starts, want to come?"

"Sure! See you guys later!"

Taylor drags me into the bathroom, looking underneath the stalls to make sure no one's in there.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on. Don't lie to me. We spend enough time together that I can tell."

"God you sound like Gracie." I laugh, me always thinking of her and my mind always clouded with what she would think of me.

"Oh it's about Gracie. You need to talk to her. For real."

"I just- I thought I would be alright here. I have my friends, I have you. But I feel like I'm suffocating. It's like I can feel her. Everywhere I turn she's there. And she looks so ho-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there. You need to have a conversation with her. Right now. Before this starts. Or you are going to fuck up your performance, say something stupid in your speech."

Just as I'm about to fight back I get a phone call.

"Hi Dan."

"Where are you? They need you backstage in 10 minutes!"

"I'll be right there." I hang up the phone. "I have to go Taylor. I'll talk to her tomorrow."

My performance of You aren't mine and Logical goes really well, and now the results for Best New Artist is about to be announced. Olivia is presenting the award since she won it last year.

"The winner of best new artist, is... Emma Wilson!"

I gasp, not even thinking about the possibility of me winning anything. And find the strength to pick myslef up and walk up to the stage. I hug Olivia, her whispering "Congrats babe." In my ear.

I walk up to the microphone, taking a deep breath before starting my speech that I barely prepared.

"Wow. First, thank you so much. The past few months have been insane. When I started to release music, I wondered if anyone would actually like what I was putting into the world, but the support that so many of you have shown me is absolutely incredible. I write every single song myself and the fact that so many people have resonated with it is crazy. Music was the only thing that got me through most of my years and still does. I want to thank Jack, for bringing my music to life, I really couldn't have done it without you. Taylor, the first person I show most of my songs to, and my favorite person, who's here somewhere I think." I look through the crowd of people for the familiar face, the lights blinding. "Who inspired a lot of this album and who I wouldn't have released any music at all unless it was for her. Thank you all, again."

I walk back off the stage and back down to my table. Where Conan holds up two thumbs, smiling big.

The rest of the awards go past, me winning the other three I was nominated for, and saying a slightly different version of the speech each time.

There's a break in awards for a while so I excuse myself to the bathroom when I get a call from Jackson.

amelia's notesss!!!
shorter chapter but the next one is gonna be way longer and shit is abt to go down