The two sided story

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That morning was a morning like every other. I got up an hour before her. Went for a quick run around the building complex. Got stuck listening to Mehta Aunty who was on her way to get fresh milk. I think I know what her son ate in New York for breakfast for the last month now. 

I came back, showered and kissed her cheek good morning as she brushed past me on her way to the bathroom. 

Freshly brewed coffee awaited her, grumpy little thing that she is in the morning. We spoke about the day over breakfast. I made her her usual eggs with coriander I had my overnight soaked oats. She asked me what time I would be back from work, I asked if she was meeting her sister in the evening. 

We packed our bags, switched our phones back since we always tend to take the others. When are we going to buy new covers?! 

Before we reached our cars I gave her a hug. A nice long warm hug and nuzzled my face in her neck before saying I love you. I felt her tighten her arms around my waist as she softly kissed my cheek. 

I drive off to work with a small smile on my face. It's been a while she's initiated a kiss. She's just not a physical display of affection kind of girl. 

But life's been great. We've been together for nearly a decade now. I love that we have our routine. The busy weeks the slow weekends. Our weekend plans generally revolve around our two other couple friends. Dinners or movies. Something light something easy. Every other weekend we do lunch with one of our parents which is just perfect. 

We've also reached that point in our marriage where we are starting to have that very real conversation about having kids. I'm keen she's still waiting for a promotion at her job before she is ready. I understand. This is a life changing decision. But we'll take it together after going through every pro and con. 

Yes I'm a list maker. A practical simple guy who loves planning things in advance. That's what she loves about me. 

That morning was a morning like every other

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That morning was a morning like every other. Thank god he had left before I woke up. I get an hour without his early morning cheer. It's been ten years he still doesn't give me my space in the mornings. The constant need to touch and hug and kiss. Space isn't just a metaphoric thing, I need it quite literally. 

I lay in bed thinking the same thought I've been thinking everyday now for the last one year. 

I need to leave.

Life with him has become like a tv show on repeat. I can guarantee he's out right now on his jog chatting up a neighbour. He complains about it but I know he loves it. The routine of meeting the same eight uncles and aunties on their morning walk or errands. 

He's back and I rush to get into the bathroom without having to say much but he manages to sneak in a kiss. He's not a bad guy I think to myself as I brush my teeth.  But seriously he's just so happy with the mundane it's driving me up the wall. I didn't expect my life to be this at 32. At 52 maybe. But I am still too young to find my life to be a drag. 

Every weekend it's the same. Catch up for dinner with a friend or two. Japanese this weekend or Mexican? That is the only exciting part of the night, choosing a new restaurant. The night is the same. We dress up, make small talk on the way to the restaurant, make small talk with our friends over over priced food and drinks, come home, sometimes have sex and then pass out. 

Every other Sunday its lunch with the family. His or mine doesn't matter I hate it either way. When will  you have kids? How long is it going to take to get that promotion? You're getting so old. I don't get why he tortures me with these painful lunches. I would rather take the weekend off and travel somewhere with him than have kids. 

I step out after a shower and get dressed for work. He's already got my coffee and breakfast ready. He insists on making breakfast, unfortunately it's the same damn thing every morning. I've tried giving him hints that I would like something else. Sent him breakfast recipes on Instagram, bought vanilla essence to make French toast. But no. Since I told him years ago I love fried eggs with coriander, it's been fried eggs with coriander. 

I'll admit I love that he makes my coffee. He gets its just right. I don't get it as right as he gets it. 

We make small talk, he asks me about my sister. I stiffen because my plan is not only to meet her today but to move in with her. Temporarily of course. Just till I find my own place. 

We get our bags pick up our phones and head to our cars. He gives me a hug like he always does., nuzzling his face in my neck and says he loves me. I can't say it back so I hug him a little tighter and kiss him. 

He doesn't know it yet but I'm not coming back. There is nothing really I love about him anymore. 








Pic: Pascal Campion 


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