Red String || Yungi

Chapter IV: I can't believe it

         

𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪'𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷

After the yesterday incident... I decided to not tell Arin.... I just couldn't..... You know what..... I don't need fate to chose my soul mate..... If I love Arin that's all I need..... U don't fucking care who is my soulmate. I'm with Arin and that's the end of the conversation....

𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘷

I woke up at 5am from a nightmare.......I dreamed that Mingi was hating me for bring his soulmate.... And that thing made me realize something........ He can't know I'm his soulmate.... Or maybe he knows but ignores me and will ignore this stupid fate all his life and live happily with Arin and I will forever be a loner.... Nothing will change........ It hurts..... But I'm used to it.. So it won't be hard to ignore him...

I couldn't go to sleep anymore.... So I did anything that will keep me Unbodered.
Scroll on Mingi's Instagram page.... And wlsaw some pictures with him... With his girlfriend and most of all the two of them..... I wish I could be in Arin's place.. To feel how love should feel... How being cherished and admired and vice versa... Ohhhh..... I wish one day I will move on... But I don't think this will be so soon.... My heart has other things to do than making me move on from him...

Some time passed and I saw it was already past 6am...So with a heavy heart I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine.... When I entered I saw myself in the mirror...... Honestly now I understand why no one looks at me....

Just now I realised the bags under my eyes..... My puffy red eyes and my whole figure..... I was loosing weight..... Maybe that's how it feels to have a broken heart and hate your whole existence..... The thing that I don't like the most is to lie Mingi.... When he asks me if I'm ok I'm always answering the same thing as always.... 𝘐'𝘮 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦...

But in the reality... I would burst crying and hugging him as tight as I can and tell him that I'm not ok and I will never be. And I want him to console me and tell me everything is ok ileven though it isn't... I wish he could tell me things that he told no one and vice versa.... I wished I could feel the love of a person who would do anything for you.... But the only one who loves me truly is Wooyoung.... Not even my parents care as much as he do...

I wish I could..... Just disappear and never come back..... But if I do it not.. No one will realise my disapearence..... Nothing will change.... Maybe, only Wooyoung will struggle till he die to find me.. He will be the only one who will be destroyed if I died.. He will be the only one crying till the sun sets at my grave.... He will be the only who will starve himself, to cry till he falls asleep, die out of exhaustion..... He will do all these just for me... He will be the only one to let go of his life his dreams just for me..... But maybe I'm just making scences in my head.. One day he will also move on and live a happy life with San.... I don't want to victimize myself.. But I honestly feel like always the world is against me..... Ok enough with depression... I have school.

I did my routine changed my clothes and went to school.

Little later I arrived at school and saw Wooyoung waving at me... I waved back and went to him and San.

-Hi... I said with a fake smile...
-W: Hiiiii... He said excited.
-S: Hi, Yunho.
-Hi San..... How have you been?
-I was good..... Little tired today.. But in rest ok. You?
-Same... You are not the only one who is tired....
-M: Hi guys!
-S: Oh.. My ...... Hi my brother.
-M: Hi, buddy.
-W: Hi Mingi!

When I saw him coming to us... I let my head hang down... As low as possible. I was only looking at my he and a playing with the sleeves of my oversized sweater since the winter is around the corner. My heart starting to beat 2 times faster than usual when he saluted me.

-M: Hi Yunho! ..... Is everything ok...
-H-hi..... Y-yeah every-thing is A-a-awesome.... I was on the verge of crying I couldn't take it anymore..... I started to sob as quietly as I could..... But they still heard me..
-M: Yunho....... Are you crying? Yunho are you ok? You can tell us.
-Why, do you care?... I said in tiny...
-M: What do you mean why I care? Yunho.... I'm your friend... I'm here to help you.... I care about you....
-I-I-I...... D-dont know.... I-ig-ignore me.... I'm just overreacting... Nothing to worry...
-M: Yunho.. This is surely not overreacting. Something happen? Would you like to share it with us?..... With me?

From all the people.. I have to tell you what's my problem.. I said to myself...

-M: Is there something I could do to make you feel better?

I didn't know what to say... I felt like my words were stuck in my throat.. The only thing that escaped from my mouth was..  

-H-hug.... And then my voice broke.

I suddenly felt arms wrapped around my waist and I felt pressed against 𝘩𝘪𝘴 chest.

I froze there.... The only thing that I could do was to return the gesture....

I hugged him back thigh.... As I could....
And started to cry hard... Very hard..  All my feelings were leaving my body in the form of tears. All the things I couldn't tell him were now tears and were soaking in his jacket....

The next thing that happened. Put me in pure shock and made me froze in my place.... I didn't think I will say this... But I said.... And I don't know if I regret or not.

I whispered a cute and tiny.....

"𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪"

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𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙮... 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩.... 𝙈𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬... 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣...

𝙄𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙.... 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙩..... 𝙀𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙪𝙖𝙜𝙚.. 𝙎𝙤 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 know❤❤❤❤