Heartstrings and Forever Bonds

Shattered Silence

Natalia's Perspective:
What I envisioned for the day and what it turned into. I'm still in tears... Why won't my eyes cease for another boy? He means nothing to me. Why must I always endure suffering? I've tried my best to love people so that I can receive it in return. Why is it always me giving without getting feedback?

"Hey!! Natalia, are you alright?" said Nikolai. Startled out of my thoughts, I hastily wiped my tears while staring out of the bus window, hoping he wouldn't realize I had been crying. I replied, "Hey...! Come, sit here." Even a five-year-old could tell I'd been crying just by hearing my voice, but I hoped Nikolai wouldn't notice.

He sat beside me and asked, "Why are you sad? We were supposed to enjoy this trip, girl." I don't know why, but just hearing his voice made my lips tilt up. Everyone tried to make me happy, to cheer me up today, but I didn't smile for a bit. This guy asks me a question, and I'm smiling? Life is truly confusing...

I replied, "Nothing, just wasn't feeling good." After that, we exchanged some words, and, to be honest, he made my day.

Returning home, I wanted a cold shower. Stripping off my clothes, I gazed at myself in the mirror. My eyes were sore from crying, a deadly red. My legs ached from walking the entire day. My nipples hardened due to the AC in my room as I stood naked. My body begged for rest after a tired day, pleading to sink into bed after a shower.

I went to the washroom turned on the shower. The speed of cold water digging my skin making goosebumps in my naked body. I pressed my two hands in the wall and closed my eyes.

"Natalia, you're my only daughter, sweetheart. I love you, baby..." I replied, "Love you too, Dad!"

After having breakfast at my grandma's house on the second floor, I returned to our apartment. Pressing the bell, Dad didn't open the door. I stood there for 15 minutes, continuously pressing the bell, waiting for him to respond. After a while, Mom came to take some fruits from our freezer. I said, "Mommy... Dad isn't opening the door. I've been standing here for an hour now." She was confused and pressed the bell twice more. Then she called Dad, but the phone was switched off. Our guard came upstairs, and my mom asked, "Are you sure you saw him coming back home?" He replied, "Yes! He came with a woman." Everyone was bewildered, but it seemed like Mom knew what was actually going on.

Suddenly, Dad opened the door—his hair messy, two buttons of his shirt undone, sweating, seeming like he was in a hurry. Out of nowhere, Mom pushed Dad inside and said, "Where is she, you idiot...? Where are you hiding her, huh?" Chaos ensued as I stood there watching my dad try to stop Mom from entering, and my mom searching for someone. I was still in shock, a tear dropping from my eyes. After a few minutes, my mom emerged with a woman. My mom was holding her hair, which was tied in a bun. Profanities flowed from her mouth rhythmically. I was too young to fully comprehend this, but I could clearly understand that Dad had done something wrong with this woman, and Mom was furious about it.The woman slipped away from my mom's grasp, darting down the stairs, while Mom shouted, "Catch that slut...Catch her!" However, the woman managed to escape. My mom confronted the guard, asking, "Why didn't you inform that man about bringing a woman?" He replied, "I did... I told his mother." My mom couldn't say anything and just looked at my grandma, tears streaming from her eyes. She turned to my dad and said, "How shameful of you!! Your daughter is standing here, living in this house, and you bring your whores." I burst into tears and ran into my mom's arms as she picked me up. I told her, "Mom, stop crying and shouting... I love you, mommy." Because I had already realized what had just happened.

Tears fill my eyes once again. My life has been difficult since childhood. I want to scream and release the pain in my heart, but I can't... I can't. Turning off the shower, I step out, water dripping from my body. I sit in front of my vanity, applying lotion, lost in my own thoughts.

"What would happen if I die? Yes, there won't make any difference if you die. Okay! Let's attempt suicide... It's easy, babe." My phone rang, jolting me out of my thoughts; it was Mom. After informing her that I won't be having dinner, I went to my bed.

My conscience whispered, "Alright, baby... There will be ups and downs. Don't worry, things will be fine. Now, just sleep."