Heartstrings and Forever Bonds

Lost Connection

After 5 years...
Nikolai's perspective:
It's been years since I distanced myself from everyone, or at least I tried to. I never imagined I'd set foot in that school again, but here I am, joining tuition classes with teachers who still roam its halls. I'm in 7th grade now, and so is Natalia. I've heard she's still at the school, perhaps content in her relationship with the person she gave her heart to, or maybe entangled in love with someone new. I can't say. I've had my share of relationships too.

I wonder about Natalia. Will she still avoid me as she did five years ago, or will she reach out? Only time will tell, and the uncertainty still stings when I recall those moments.

Nevertheless, I've moved on. I'm now in a relationship with hope for the future, and Natalia doesn't hold the same significance anymore. Oh, did I mention I saw her with her mother about a year ago? We didn't talk, except for a brief recognition from her mother. We exchanged a few words due to traffic, but Natalia didn't acknowledge me. We've chatted privately online as well, although the timing eludes me. It makes me wonder, would she talk to me if we met today?

It was around 4 p.m. when I arrived at the school where teachers conducted their tuition classes. I met my old friends, the ones I had kept in touch with throughout these years. They were sitting on the schoolyard benches, but Natalia wasn't among them. 'Why are you looking for her?' After exchanging a few words, I made my way to the second floor to join my class. As I opened the door and entered, I noticed two girls sitting, one in the front and one in the second bench. I recognized the girl in the front; it was Anastasia, Natalia's best friend who always used to sit with her. There were two rows, so I chose the left row and settled into the second bench.

Anastasia greeted me, 'Hey! How are you? Long time no see.' I replied, 'Alright. How are you?' She responded, 'All good!' Beside the girl in the front bench, I felt a presence that seemed like Natalia, although most of her hair covered her face, making it hard to see clearly. Driven by curiosity, I quietly asked Anastasia, 'Is she Natalia?' She confirmed, 'Yes!'

Natalia's Perspective:
The door creaked open, and I heard someone entering the class. My focus remained steadfast on my work; I needed to put in extra effort to grasp this subject (ICT). My hands stayed steady, scribbling notes. Suddenly, a voice pierced the air, asking, 'Alright! How are you?' My heart raced, feeling as though it might leap out of my chest. I recognized that voice, I was sure of it...!This voice evokes both happiness and sadness within me. I've yearned for the sweet melody of this voice for years. It used to be exclusively mine, but with time, it gradually faded away, leaving behind a bittersweet longing that tugs at my heartstrings.But to confirm, I patiently waited for the guy to speak again. After what felt like an eternity, he quietly asked Anastasia, 'Is she Natalia?'

What the hell? It's Nikolai... My mind instantly replayed everything from years ago, my heart pounding faster than 100 beats per minute. Afraid that everything might unravel, I quickly turned to the teacher and stammered, 'Sir, may I use the washroom?' He responded, 'Yes, sure.' As I moved to stand up, I caught sight of Nikolai to my left. I couldn't muster the courage to meet his eyes, so I stared at the ground. It was agonizing; I had missed him deeply over these years. I longed to embrace him tightly and let my tears flow.

I entered the washroom, finding my eyes brimming with tears. I whispered to myself, 'Take a deep breath and exhale. It's alright, Natalia. He's just a person, a boy, a part of the past. You've moved on, babe.' I responded to my inner turmoil, 'I know, but after all these years, my eyes are still filled with tears. I thought I had made myself stronger, but now I realize I haven't changed a bit. He still has the power to make me cry. Do I still want him, or am I just obsessed with him? I don't know.'

No one knows until it happens to them that,"The strongest kind of letting go is letting go of someone your heart still beats for." And I did it years ago.

After spending what felt like an eternity in the washroom, my entire body felt numb from the cold winter air coming from the open window. Nevertheless, I gathered my strength and returned to the classroom.

Returning to the classroom, I felt a whirlwind of emotions inside me. The encounter with Nikolai had stirred a storm of memories, making me question the depth of my feelings. As I settled back into my seat, I knew I couldn't escape the past any longer. The air crackled with unresolved tension, and I sensed that this reunion signified something significant, a turning point in my life. With a deep breath, I vowed to confront my emotions head-on, determined to untangle the web of emotions that had resurfaced. Little did I know, this moment would shape my future, challenging my understanding of love and resilience.