Sex, Travel and The Pandemic

The German, Safe Havens, and The Fight for Middle Earth

Walking around the streets of Belgrade I limbered into an old and rinky-dink hippy hostel. The beds were hard and squeaky, and the room smelt of piss and sweaty backpackers. It, however, had a nice bar area with a good atmosphere.

I socialized, put on a happy face, and pretended as if nothing had happened. But I was a broken man.

I only booked for one night at that hostel. I laid in bed and contemplated what I was going to do next, and where I was going to go next. Should I stay in Belgrade and continue my attempts to fix my relationship, or should I keep moving in search of new adventures?

I didn't know what to do.

While in bed, I messaged an old German friend of mine who my "girlfriend" and I had met during our first trip to Miami together. I told her that my "girlfriend" and I had broken up and that I was in Europe.

She then told me that her parents were out of town on a trip to Turkey and that I could come stay with her and her brother for a few days in Germany.

It was a super small town in the middle of nowhere Bavaria and wouldn't be the destination of choice if I didn't have a friend there. I would have easily decided on a bigger and louder place like Paris or Barcelona or Berlin.

But then I thought maybe this is what I needed in my life. Maybe I needed to chill out in a nice quiet, small, and peaceful town. Away from the bright lights, away from the parties, away from my "girlfriend."

I made my decision. I booked the next train to Germany then slid into sleep.

Sometime in the mid-afternoon, I walked out of the train station in the town of Aschaffenburg.

And there she was, leaning against her Volkswagen, welcoming me to Germany with a huge smile. She was blonde, blue-eyed, and slim and for the purpose of anonymity, we'll call her Anna.

I returned the smile and entered the car. I didn't know it then, but Anna was going to play a huge part in my life moving forward.

The small German town of Pflaumheim seemed like one stuck in time. Its traditional Bavarian-style architecture was very new to me. With neatly structured formations of wooden planks plastered across a white or cream building, I was in awe of its

timelessness. It felt like I was in 5th century Europe or in some German version of one of the kingdoms of Middle Earth.

When we got to Anna's place she gave me a couch to sleep on....but I never did sleep on the couch. The couch was more of a well-constructed idea that never came to reality.

The first few days ahead went by with no drama, no crazy and outlandish missions to accomplish, no hate. Just bliss. And in case you were wondering, we didn't have sex on our first few days together. This girl was a girl who knew my girlfriend and whether her initial intentions was to have sex with me, the first few days did not go that way.

She was someone to talk to, someone to confide in and Anna played that part to perfection. The thoughts about my recent failures didn't exist in this bubble or safe haven that I found myself in. All my regrets about the past and my qualms about the future were banished to the underworld and all that existed in time and space was the right now. There was no Germany, no Europe, no world, no universe. Just me and her. Anna and me.

Naturally, as you would expect, our relationship eventually became romantic. It started slowly and gradually, then one day, the stars aligned in our favor. We had just come back from a long hike, and we were both huddled together in a hammock in her backyard, listening to some sweet soca music. Then I kissed her, first a peck on the lips. Part of me was

expecting her to slap me across the face, throw me off the hammock and kick me out of her house saying, "No! You've gone too far! I was just being nice to you because you're dealing with a break up!"

No. She didn't do that. She kissed me back, escalating our relationship in one fell swoop. This bubble I had found myself in Germany was now a love bubble.

I grew quite close to Anna during my stay with her and the small German town began to feel more and more like a shelter from the thunderstorms plaguing my turbulent soul. It was a safe haven of sorts. A place I could take my costume off, hang up my cape and be Bruce Wayne. There was no Gotham City for me to save. Life was good.

But this safe haven was built on a lie, as I hadn't been completely honest with Anna. I had told her that my "girlfriend" and I had broken up in Trinidad and that I was traveling alone and single. She had no idea that my "girlfriend" was traveling through Europe with me. She had no idea that she was abetting in the cardinal sin of any relationship, infidelity.

And as good as it was in this small German safe haven, the consequences of the lies were creeping up on us like the orcs moving in on Helm's Deep. It was a slow march but an inevitable one. Aragorn and the forces of good fought valiantly against the orc horde encroaching on our shelter.

The wise words of Aragorn in the movie series "Lord of The Rings" echoed in my brain

"A day may come when the courage of men fails when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day."

Then there was the Oktoberfest-themed party.

Anna and I danced to the sound of traditional German music with scores of people of all ages around us. We were at Anna's best friend's mom's birthday party, and it was Oktoberfest-themed. All the men wore leather lederhosen shorts while all the women wore traditional dirndl.

I felt so a part of the German culture. I wasn't only "dating" a German girl, I was also wearing a lederhosen in a small Bavarian town in Germany. If I just spoke German, I would have been basically German.

There was a moment, on my way to the birthday event that I thought that it would be weird being like the only black person in a sea of white small-town Germans. I didn't express these thoughts to Anna but as though she read my worry she said, in passing, "Oh they'll love you!" And they did! Everyone did! It was smooth sailings. The people of Bavaria were so hospitable. I didn't at all feel unwelcomed because of the color of my skin.

As the music played and the dancing continued, I stepped away from the action and sat by myself for a moment to absorb the situation from the outside. It's so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when you're up close and personal. So, I had to step back.

I looked on at all the people, dancing with the traditional German wear. I was in some way experiencing German culture. Though it was fabricated to suit the occasion, I couldn't help but feel as though I was truly experiencing what Germany was and is. All its history, its struggles, and endeavors. Dreams and aspirations. Young and old. New and antique. It was all in front of me. This was Germany.

I didn't feel like a tourist. I felt like a local and this is how I wanted to feel for the rest of my life. I wanted to feel like I was a part of a culture that I had never experienced. I wanted to travel the world not for a vacation like most people do, but for immersion. I wanted to meet the Germans and live with them. Eat their foods and sing their songs. I wanted to carry water buckets on my head in Africa and do religious ceremonies and yoga in India. I wanted to drink Tequila in Mexico and learn Spanish in Colombia. I wanted to be a world citizen, a nomad, living a life where I didn't live anywhere but belonged everywhere. How was I going to do it? That's what I had to figure out. These thoughts would consume me in the days to come.