All your fault ! re-write

2

⚠️ body image dislike/binging/sh

Atsushi's pov :
After reclaiming his thoughts he starts to put things away from his bag as he doesn't need them .
Making himself a tea , opening the cupboard to get a teabag.
Seeing an unopened pack of biscuits .
'i havens eaten yet so a few can't hurt '
He takes two and sits down with his tea to watch TV .
Getting changed into comfortable clothes , the biscuits sitting on the side staring at him .
'a few more wouldn't kill '
He takes the packet and continued to watch TV and not how many biscuits he was shoveling into his mouth .
Soon enough they were gone but Atsushi had just opened a void of uncomfortable hunger .
Grabbing a few more things and sitting down , making more tea and grabbing just 'one' more thing .
Then the void was closed , he looked at the packets that surrounded him , feeling nothingness but guilt .
He threw them away and sat back down , lifting his shirt .
'i look so disgusting'
There was a knock at the door .
Unsure of who it could be he opens it .
"Hello dazai San "
"Hello Atsushi , may I come in ? "
"Why ? May I ask ?"
"To look after you I'd course "
"Oh okay "
He steps aside then closed the door behind them.

They sat on the couch , Atsushi sat in a ball as dazai is spread out.
"How are you feeling Atsushi ? Need anything ?"
"No I'm ok for now dazai San "
"Ok let  me know if you need anything , maybe some medicine ?"
"Okay "
Dazai lifted some from the cupboard along with a glass of water .
Atsushi had taken it and was now starting to drift off to sleep .
But stopped himself as he had someone over.
"Go to sleep Atsushi , I'll still be here don't you worry"
Atsushi sighed and closed his eyes .

He opened them again 3 hours later , his headache had returned and his body aches from the position he's in.
Dazai was also asleep but awoke when Atsushi nudged him.
"Oh Atsushi are you feelings alright ?"
"No not really , I'm going to bed , you can go now "
"But -"
"I'll see you tomorrow dazai San "
"Ok bye Atsushi get better "

Atsushi locked the door and headed to the bathroom , turning on the light and looking in the mirror .
'how could he even look at me ? I'm so hideous and fat'
He stood to the side then the other and looked over his body .
He opened the bathroom cabinet and pulls out a razor .
'im already ugly , so what's the harm ?'