Family + Camp (working title)

Chapter 3: Loser part 3

Len, seeming to sense that she would not bolt, slowly exited the Rabbit. He approached her cautiously, his footfalls on the crunchy parking lot gravel steady, quiet. She did not look up, not even when she could see his tube-socked feet in front of her worn, blue Sperry Topsiders. Toes to toes. She felt his tentative hands on her shoulders and the sensation of him pulling her to him. His hollowed-out boy chest. He wasn't that tall, but tall enough that he had to make a cave of himself to put his chin around her neck as he hugged her.

"It's going to be okay," he said into her ear.

"Yeah," she said, her voice hoarse. "Okay." A thought occurred to her and she stepped out of his embrace. "Do you like me like me?"

Len swallowed, sniffed and looked away. "I mean...I don't not like you like you."

Crap. Well, she was about to move away. There was nothing to be done about the thing that was between them that she didn't want to be a thing.

"But," he hurriedly said, "I know that you don't feel it. And that's okay. I'm okay with that. I can wait."

Nell snorted. "Well, you'll be waiting a long time because I'm about to eighty-six this joint."
Len's shoulders sagged, but just a fraction. "I know. And like I've told you, I can help you pack. Whatever you need."

That's how their conversations went. Just like their thoughts—all over the place.

"I called my dad a loser," Nell confessed. She collapsed down the ground in a loose criss-cross applesauce, grabbing her hair with her hands.

"Damn, girl. You're cold." Len sat next to her.

"I am. I'm an asshole," she said into her chest.

Len didn't answer. When Nell looked up, he was nodding his agreement.

"Fuck you," she said. He laughed. She did too.

"Hey, you're always right."

"Yeah, I am."

"All you have to do is apologize. He'll forgive you. He'll know you didn't mean it."

She sighed. Because she knew Len was being generous in a way she was not. She did kind of think of her dad as a loser. She was a snob. That's what she was known for at Collins. Being a snob who was kind of a goody two-shoes because she didn't drink or smoke at parties. Or actually go to parties. Len did. Len got invited to everything. It was a wonder he was still friends with her. Maybe because of how much he like liked her.

She was so pissed off at her dad for letting her believe he was all that. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. Something had been stolen from her, and maybe it wasn't the worst thing in the world. After all, her parents were kind to her. They treated her almost like an equal with a top coat of condescension she thought was just confusing—they were her parents after all. Her mom, especially, liked to talk about how kids should respect their elders, and that totally made sense to Nell because her dad had always told her, sure, respect your elders, but if an elder is a perv or a murderer, you don't have to blindly continue esteeming them.

And maybe that's what she had done: blindly esteemed her dad because when she was little, she trusted that he had all the answers. And all the love.

Love was blind. Maybe respect wasn't.

So, she did think of him as a loser. A little bit. But she loved him nonetheless.

Sighing, Nell stood up. She held out her hands, arms crossed, to Len and pulled him up, awed once more by the mystical magic that was machine physics, which allowed her to pull him, even though she was a weakling and he was slightly heavier than she was.

"Okay. I'd better get back in there if I'm going to say I'm sorry."

"You'll be fine."

"Thank you," she said.

Len held out his hand, and they high-fived.

"Sorry for the weirdness," she said.

"See? You said sorry. Glad to help you practice your words."

She flipped him off. And he smiled, shaking his head. 

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Hi Wattpad readers! I could not find a perfect match to the Sperry Topsiders Nell is wearing in this scene, but the ones above are close. The pair I had were bright blue and probably on sale. And I did not like wearing shoes without socks. Still not a fan.

Thanks for reading, and please like and comment!