Where There Is Smoke, There Is Fire [Avatar: The Last Airbender Fanfic]

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Izara was staring at the sunrise. She had spent most of the night glaring at her ceiling, wondering if she tried hard enough, it would fall on her and crush her, saving her from facing Zuko today. They were supposed to be training, but she had made a mess of things the other day. She had been such an idiot. He had been so kind to her throughout the time they had known each other, and eventually, their relationship had become closer than just Fire Lord and a Palace Guard. The line between friends began to blur with an occasional flirt or staring longer than necessary. She didn't expect anything to come of it and sabotaged herself in the process. Maybe it was because she had such low self-esteem that she didn't think he was interested in her or was just being playful.

So, despite her feelings for him, she panicked and ran away when he finally made a move. It had brought into focus the stark contrast between them: the Fire Lord and a Palace Guard. She wasn't nobility, wealthy, politically involved or anything else important. Indeed, their worlds and positions were too different, too far apart, for them to actually be together in a way that mattered. The primary factor that kept circling in her mind was that she was not worthy of him. Her past was too soaked in blood, anguish and death. She couldn't make amends within her lifespan for everything that she'd done. She did not deserve to be happy after all the pain she had inflicted, even if she'd left that part of her life behind.

Reinforcing this point, the memory of his expression as she pulled away from him after their kiss. As earth-shatteringly incredible as it felt, she essentially rejected him by running away. There was clearly confusion in his eyes, quickly replaced by hurt. She hadn't explained why she was pushing him away, nor did she want to. It would just make the reality that she didn't deserve him impossible to ignore. For now, she could suffer alone.

Her head thumped from dehydration, lack of sleep, and muted groaning she had done in her room for the last three hours before she came out to watch the sunrise. The dark blue sky of the night mixed with the bright oranges of dawn, and she could barely appreciate its beauty, not for lack of trying. She felt so hopeless and horrible that she couldn't muster up any enjoyment at seeing a new day.

It took her a moment to realise what they were, but she heard alarm bells from the city's direction. For a moment, she thought it might have been her mind playing tricks on her.

They were under attack.

The alarm was the sound of an initial wave, and she leapt up from her spot on the roof, jumped straight down to the ground, and shared a worried look with the two guards at the back palace door. With a breath to steel herself, she headed towards the barracks, rousing all the guards, and told them to prepare for battle. Orders fell from her mouth before she realised she was giving them; just out of sheer instinct, everyone followed them without delay or hesitation.

Kazan came to stand on her right, appearing from nowhere, and she looked up at him with dread in her eyes. Though he shared her concern, it was for slightly different reasons, and she knew she had to choose. Someone had to escort the Fire Lord to the underground bunker below the Palace, and though she wanted to do it herself, she also knew that she was better used up on the surface. Her skill in battle and direction were necessary. She wouldn't let anyone get past her unless she was dead.

Finally, she made eye contact with Kazan again and spoke in a desperate whisper.

"Get him below." He gave her a nod in response and took another three men with him to escort their Fire Lord underground.

The Fire Lord abruptly whirled from around the corner, calling for the guards to prepare the defences. She was stuck to her spot as she watched him barking orders to everyone. His eyes met hers and saw them soften in worry. She marched over to him without hesitation.