note: this chapter is dedicated to my number 1 reader, mia😉
i was ready for fp1. my suit was on and i looked sexy.
i walked into the redbull garage and came face to face with the car that i would be driving. it was beautiful, but not nearly as beautiful as the mercedes w11. crafted for the 2020 formula one season by james allison and others, the mercedes w11 is the fastest car in formula one history. weighing in at 746kg, this car allowed drivers george russell, lewis Hamilton and valtteri bottas to receive a total of 25 podiums, 15 poles, 9 fastest laps and 13 wins, including its first win upon its debut. i want to kiss that car on it's sexy pirelli tyres.
i examined the car, i was used to my normal car but i'm sure i could put my mind to it, after all, confidence is key😜.
'are you gonna get in or what? i wanna see u go fast bitch' i hear a voice from behind, i turn around and wtf??!!!
nick sturniolo in the flesh.
'NAHHHHHH WTF' i exclaim. i'm hyping myself up to drive around a track in the current fastest car on the grid and this bitch is eating popcorn standing next to me. unbelievable.
'im gonna go fast, gimme a sec' i sigh
'me when i lie' he replies
'actually go fucking off urself i'm so done' i say pissed off
'omd ur so annoying, i hope u pull a lando in vegas and slam into the wall' he says walking off.
'i will NOT stand for that!' i hear landos hoe peta say as she storms into the garage, ready to bash the shit out of him like zak bashed christian.
'that's enough' i say as i push her closer to the exit, trying to steer clear of where i saw landos hands earlier, still terrified of them as a couple.
after she leaves, i move over to where i see christian talking to who i can only assume is my teammate. i decide to listen in to their conversation
'maxi taxi my dear beloved schnookums, i believe in you your gonna do so so well my gorgeous pumpkin, god i want you so bad i would leave my wife to be with you if you ever asked' i hear christian say, gripping the maxi taxis shoulder
'please christian i'm literally half your age, and also in a committed relationship' he says slowly moving away
'no one has to know baby. it's you and me against the world, i want you alpha, i need you like lewis needs his 8th title' christian says slowly backing him into a corner.
'is it a requirement to sleep with you to keep my contract or can i skip that bit pls' i say, scaring christian and his little boyfriend, poor max.
'goodness me you startled me!' christian says, max takes this as an opportunity to quickly run away as fast as he could.
'please stfu you irl cartoon character, teach me how to use this steering wheel' i say, pointing to the car, as i had never driven an f1 car before.
'y'know michael schumacher had never driven an f1 car aside from testing before his first race in spa? there's a lot in common between you two🤓☝️' christian started tapping as we walked.
'yeah but i can ski so...' i replied
'oh!' christian said as he sat me down to explain the wheel.
-fp1 started-
i was driving around the track when i encounter a red little tractor in my way
'hey there's js a little red tractor sitting in the middle of the track what do i do' i say over my radio
'yeah no bring the car back into the garage, there's been a complication, oscar saw the car and got pissed at it and jumped out of his mclaren to beat up carlos and carlos is now hospitalised' my engineer responded
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'ohhhhh the girls are fightinggg' i say as i manoeuvre my way around it back into the garage.
by the time everything had all been dealt with fp1 had finished. the next free practices went by very quickly, now the only thing that stood between me and first podium was quali. and i was ready.
