excuse all mistakes x
kaatje myra rose | kj
friday 13th may, 2022"oh y'all at the bnb?" bando asked as he moved around in his car looking for something.
"yeah we just got here," i said moving my hair out my face. i put my luggage in the corner of the room then threw myself on the bed and sighed deeply.
farrah went and booked us a 6AM flight for God knows what and now i was extremely tired. i was on the phone with bando because he was there for me when that shit went down with my mom so i needed him to be there for me today.
i was a little hesitant on hitting him up, considering how he was acting with me the last time i saw him, but to my surprise he was cool.
"yeah like i said, if you feel like you gotta say somethin then say it, but you also gotta listen," he said sitting his phone up.
"but every time i say some shit i'm "disrespectful" so how do i go about it?" i asked.
"think before you speak," he said, "and when i say listen i mean really listen like, take in whatever she says and try to understand. even if you don't agree with it,"
i sighed thinking about what outcome i wanted from this conversation anyway. did i want things to go back to how it was or did i just want to get everything off my chest and move on?
i'd be lying if i said i haven't missed my mom since we stopped talking. i think about that lady every day but i didn't want her thinking what she did/said was cool because it wasn't. on both sides to be honest. but at least i was willing to get this conversation over and done with.
"at least i'm willing to have the conversation," i shrugged.
"see, growth. i like dat," he smirked causing me to roll my eyes. i watched as he drove to where ever, eyes focused on the road. his dreads hung neatly under his beanie as his skin glowed every time the sun glared through his windows.
"you look cute today," i said with a small smile.
"preciate it," he nodded. i kept watching him as flashbacks of us played in my head. when we used to chill and smoke at his apartment, us play fighting, laughing together, etc.
"you ever miss us? like before things got weird?" i asked him, "and be honest,"
"i never lie about how feel sweetheart," he chuckled, "but yeah. i'm thinkin about that shit right now just lookin at you,"
"hmm," was all i said.
to be honest i was confused as much as y'all are right now. i didn't know what i wanted if i was being honest. saimir always treated me good and despite him doing that weird shit, he was very honest with everything. but there was something missing and i didn't know what it was. maybe it was me?