Love Me!... please...

~Act 1, Prt 2: Cruel, Painful Memories~

~🐬~

Trigger warning: nightmares? idk how to say it. I guess dark themes though.

"It's dark as hell..." I say. I don't know where I am. I assume I'm dreaming, though. I try to get up, but my arms and legs feel like a ton are on it. I try again but eventually give up once I realize I'm stuck. It is comfortable here anyway. An odd, mysterious warmth from this spot zaps all my motivation to move. It won't be too bad to stay here forever.

I look around. It's completely empty. I'm the only one here, for miles and miles... How far does this place go anyway? Is it an illusion to fuck over my mind, or is this place really a vast void where hopeless pieces of shit end up?... Irreparable pieces of shit, huh? I chuckle at myself. Wasn't I just hopeful? Ironic. My Stand, Star Platinum, is named after the tarot card The Star, which symbolizes hope above all. Yet why don't I feel this hope? Why is everything so messed up? Why did this happen to us? When did I- any of us ask for this?

...I feel sick. I feel tired. But it's too late to regret anything. There's no time to be whining like a baby. I can't feel weak when I have to be the pillar of strength for my mom. I have to stay strong. I'm... consistently strong.

I close my eyes and stare up at the void. I feel myself sinking into the floor or ground, or whatever it is. But I don't care. It's. Right here. It is peaceful and quiet. I should take advantage of this temporary peace.

...

"Kekeke... how pathetic." someone whispers. The tone was soft yet vile. It is so sweet, yet a bitter, rotten feeling lingers in my ears. Only one person is capable of that. My eyes shoot open. I feel my heartbeat accelerate, and a million beads of sweat seem to form all over my body. No.. NOT him.

I slowly turn around. I know he's not real. I know none of this is real. So whose heart is beating rapidly, to the point where it hurts? Whose stomach is doing somersaults? Whose hands are shaking a million miles an hour? Whose breath is heavy and anxious? Who is dizzy to the point of feeling nauseous as hell?

"...leave me the hell alone. DIO." I grunt. He is the last person I want to see right now.

"Now now... is that how you treat a dear friend?" He grins. That shit-eating grin he had when talking about how he finished off Kakyoin... the shit-eating grin that led to his downfall. The grin that still haunts me to this day.

Oh, how I hate–despise– it.

Despite my anger, I keep quiet. There's no point in arguing or yelling at him, cursing at him for what he did.. He's dead already. He can't hurt me any longer. He can't hurt any of us any longer. So then, why am I so scared?

"Hmph, keeping quiet I suppose.. How wonderful~." he sneers. "Don't think I'm happy, though. Though I absolutely adore seeing you drown in your own puny feelings, I, DIO, would've much preferred to end your pathetic life with my own hands. That would've been so much more entertaining. But we can't have good things, hm? Thanks to a certain Joestar–No, THE WHOLE DAMN BLOODLINE." He declares. Nothing but odious and iniquity filled his eyes and voice. He meant every damn word, and both of us knew.

What a piece of shit.

"What's the point of haunting me? Why can't you leave me the hell alone? It can't be that entertaining. But yet again, you're the definition of evil. Even Satan would seem like a saint compared to you."

"Oh, Jotaro... you naïve little thing. You really thought I was going to leave you alone after everything you've done–everything you've all done? YOU TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME!"

"I, DIO, WAS A GOD UNTIL YOU JOESTARS FUCKED EVERYTHING UP! Now, I will make all your lives–especially yours–a living hell. It's only fair... right?" he smiles, satisfied. "No hard feelings, alright?" He laughs.

"Shut up." I whisper. His laughter rebounds in my ears. It's getting louder. Louder. Louder.

"Shut up... Shut up... SHUT UP." I scream, tears stinging my eyes. My head is spinning, I feel dizzy. What is going on? I want to get out of here. "LEAVE ME ALONE... p l e a s e."

"You'll never escape this hell... Jotaro~"

~ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 ~

"Jotaro! Jotaro please wake up!"

I slowly open my eyes. Mom is looking down at me, worried. She's sweating a lot and looks like she was recently crying. She engulfs me in a hug before I can reply.

"Jotaro... Thank god you woke up. I heard you yelling... and I just." she didn't get much more out before she started to sob. I could only sit down next to her as she cried. I would've also cried if I had comforted her, but I can't cry. It's not time for that... yet.

"I'm fine. It was just a bad dream.."

"But you were screaming so, so loud. You looked like you were in lots of pain, Jotaro. I'm worried for you..." she insists. "Ever since that trip Jotaro, you haven't been the same. I'm sorry.. Its my fault you ended up this way. If only I was a bit stronger, then my poor boy..."

"I already told you it's not your fault. Blaming yourself won't change shit, you know? Plus, I said it was a bad dream. I'm fine. I don't need you to babysit me for everything," my voice rises. "I'm not a damn baby anymore. Now leave me the hell alone."

"Jotaro please! I'm seriously worried. Please for god sake just listen to me! Stop pushing me away, I just want to help you-"

"I SAID I'M FINE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GET THE HELL OUT!" I roar before I realize what I'm did. My eyes widened, and she was shocked. It's silent. Completely silent. I fucked up, big time. I pull down my cap in shame.

"No, wait... I didn't mean-" I stammer. I could barely speak.

"No.. I understand. I'll get out... Jotaro. I'm sorry for pushing you so hard. I... no. I'll just leave. " she says. Her eyes look empty, and her voice is dull. She slowly gets up and looks back. Without saying a word, she leaves.

"... GOD DAMN IT" I yelled, punching the wall. I wanted to scream, but what would that do? I decided to keep quiet. The more I cry, the more I fuck up things anyways. The one person who has always been on my side. The person who always looks out for me. My own mother, I pushed away cruelly.

What the hell is wrong with me?

"... I'm sorry," I whisper. It's all DIO's fault. No... that's what I want to believe. But in my heart, I know it's all my fault and only my fault. I'm so damn tired, but I can't sleep. I don't want to face DIO again.

I lay down on my futon. I want to cry, but there are no tears. I want to yell, but I have no strength. Kakyoin... What would you do in this situation? Kakyoin... please come back. Please, someone help me.

"Ora..." I look to my side. Star Platinum looks down at me. He looks sad.

"I'm fine, Star. Even if I'm not okay now, I'll eventually be. I always find a way out, right? I'm the cool, collected Jotaro Kujo who never breaks down. I..."

I stop myself. Star Platinum doesn't look convinced. He sits next to me and pats my back. Even though he can't speak, I can see his eyes saying, 'It's okay to cry. Don't worry, I won't judge." It isn't much, considering Star is a part of me, but it makes me feel better. Better for now, at least.

"Thanks, Star." I huff. "I really appreciate this... I guess."

"Ora!"

~ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 ~

Word count ~ 1336 (not including this <3)

Yay another chapter

I tried writing Jotaro having nightmares of DIO but I think I did shit lmao

Uh yeah that was kinda depressing now that I think about it, but that was fun to write ngl

I swear things will get better (Source: trust me, bro.)

Okay, see you next chapter.. Bye <3