A Garden of Rose and Bone

Chapter 4: Atonement

 The morning light greeted me with its blasting rays. My head pounded furiously and my tongue was stuck to the top of my mouth. I cracked open my eyes and looked over to the cat tower, sensing a whipping tail. Midnight sat upon his perch and chattered at the pigeons and crows swooping by. Despite the pain shooting through my head, I smiled. A frown quickly replaced it as the memories from last night breezed in. I felt a vibration under the pillow and slipped my hand under it to grab my phone. I was lucky it hadn't fallen between the wall and the bed again.

It was a text from Lyn.

"Did you sleep well, my darling?"

I sent him back a rather curt reply. "I guess. The headache I have is excruciating." My mood was low on top of it, which was the typical reaction after a couple of days of rather manic behavior.

I rolled out of bed moaning and shuffled to the bathroom. I opened the mirror cabinet door and huffed as I realized I was out of ibuprofen. Great.

Lyn's message was sweet. "I'm sorry to hear that. I can bring you a coffee. Maybe a touch of caffeine will help. I also have some pain reliever for you."

"You don't have to."

The dots of his pending reply bounced, and he said, "I want to. I'll pick you up in an hour."

I sank onto my bed, not wanting to get ready for the day. All I wanted to do was lay in my sweaty night clothes and stare at the ceiling. Midnight turned from his view of the birds and crouched onto his back legs, jumping with ease to the top of my dresser. He meowed as if he was urging me to get dressed. With my arms hanging limply at my sides, I moved to the dresser and picked the coziest sweater I could find. It had a little red heart in the middle surrounded by white fuzz. I put on simple dark pink leggings to match.

My hair went straight up into a ponytail because I couldn't force myself to brush it. My teeth received similar treatment. The taste of the mouthwash was stinging and intruding. But I had to do something. Smelling completely like a garbage dump wasn't an option. Makeup wasn't happening either. I splashed my face with the iron and chlorine-scented water. I patted my face dry and wrinkled my nose at my reflection. I couldn't help but flip myself off.

'Was that necessary?' Lux asked.

"Are you necessary?" I snapped back.

'Rawrrrr' he said, imitating a growling cat.

"Fuck you."

'I bet Lyn will love the attitude. Being mad and sad makes you bitchy sometimes.'

"Just leave me alone," I said, a knot braiding in my throat.

A feminine voice broke in with, 'You'll disgust him...'

I clamped my hands over my ears, nearly tripping over my own feet as I left the bathroom. Midnight padded over to me, sounding a concerned yowl at me.

"It's ok little guy, I'm just having a hard day."

Then Mom flooded into my thoughts. I should be with her. Leaving my mother alone on a Sunday seemed cruel, but I was so tired and I hated the sounds of those machines. The scent of bleach invaded my senses. At least I wasn't hallucinating about the stink of rotting meat, though. I coughed, despite it being a phantom smell. I dissociated for who knows how long after that, triggered by the intrusion.

When I came to, I forced myself to dig through my barren sock drawer, pulling out a fuzzy pink pair with unicorns on them. There was a hole in the big toe, but I wasn't able to afford to replace my tired and tattered socks. I didn't care, either. Today was about comfort, not alluring fashion. I looked up at the clock and it was nearly time to go. Zoning out like I just had often resulted in losing minutes, hours, or even days. I checked Midnight's food supplies and put a pile of cat treats down. My little helper needed payment for his array of services.