The Rifleman: The Wizard of Oz

Chapter 9

The scene changes where Mark, Scarecrow and Toto walk down the yellow brick road next to the apple trees. The Wicked Warlock of the West watches them from behind the tree.

Mark: Oh, apples! Oh look! (He walks up to the apple tree then he picks one off but the tree grabs the apple and slapped Mark's hand) Ouch!

Apple tree: (Angrily) What do you think you're doing?

Mark: We've been walking a long ways and I was hungry and... (Realizing) Did you say something?

Apple tree: He was hungry!

Apple tree 2: He was hungry!

Apple tree: (To Mark) Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?

Mark: Oh dear! I keep forgetting I'm in North Fork.

Scarecrow: Come along, Mark. You don't want any of those apples.

Apple tree: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be?

Scarescrow: Oh, no. It's just that he doesn't like little green worms!

Apple tree: (Angrily, begins to attack them) Oh, you!

The tree tries to grab Mark which causes him to scream.

Scarecrow: (Whispering to Mark) I'll show how to get apples. (Then he makes a face at a tree which causes him to throw apples them) Hooray! I guess that did it! Help yourself.

As Mark and Scarecrow pick up the apples off the ground. Mark sees something and he knocks lightly on the foot and the leg. Mark stands up and sees a silver faced man thats wearing a funnel cap this is the Tin man he is standing rusted solid.

Mark: (Astonished) Why, it's a man! (To Scarecrow) A man made out of tin!

Scarecrow: (Surprised) What? (Runs up to see the Tin man)

Mark: Yes! Look!

Tin Man: (Muffled) Oil can! Oil can!

Mark: Did you say something?

Tin Man: (Muffled) Oil can.

Mark: He said oil can.

Scarecrow: Oil can what?

Mark: Oil can? (Sees the oil can and takes it) Oh, here it is. Where do you want to be oiled first?

Tin Man: (Muffled) My mouth! My mouth!

Scarecrow: He said his mouth. (Takes the oil can and squirts it into his mouth) The other side.

Gives it to Mark and he squirts oil into the other side of his mouth.

Tin Man: (Begins speaking) My-My goodness! I can talk again! Oh! Oil my arms, please. Oil my elbows. (Mark oils Tin Man's joints)

Mark: (Hands the oil can to Scarecrow) Here. (Scarecrow oils his other elbow and he lowers the axe to the ground) Did that hurt?

Tin Man: No, it feels wonderful. I've held that axe up for ages.

Mark: Goodness! How did you ever get like this?

Tin Man: Well, about a year ago, I was chopping that tree, when suddenly it began to rain. And right in the middle of the chop, I rusted solid. And I've been that way ever since.

Mark: Well, you're perfect now.

Tin Man: (To Scarecrow) My neck. My neck. (Scarecrow oils Tin Man's neck) (To Mark) Perfect? Bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect. Go ahead, bang on it!

Mark bangs on his chest which causes an echo

Scarecrow: Beautiful! What an echo!

Tin Man: (Sadly) It's empty. The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart.

Scarecrow and Mark: No heart?

Tin Man: No heart. All hollow. (Taps his chest and falls backwards) (Singing) When a man's an empty kettle, He should be on his mettle, And yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presuming That I could be kind of human. If I only had a heart. I'd be tender, I'd be gentle, And awful sentimental.Regarding love and art, I'd be friends with a sparrows And the boy who shoots the arrows. If I only had a heart Picture me, A balcony Above a voice sings low.

Juliet's voice: Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Tin Man: (Singing) I hear a beat. How sweet! Just to register emotion Jealousy, devotion. And really feel the part. I could stay young and chipper. And I lock it with a zipper. If I only had a heart.

Tin Man starts walking while his legs are rusted. Then Mark oils his knees as Tin Man continues to walk Scarecrow oils his other knee. Tin Man walks backwards then he begins dancing as Scarecrow and Mark watch in delight. Mark and Scarecrow whisper to each other and they both nod. As Tin Man leans in sideways Mark and Scarecrow try to catch him. Tin Man then tarts backwards to sit down.

Mark: Oh! Are you all right?

Tin Man: I'm afraid, I;m a little rusty yet.

Mark: Oh dear! (He oiled him some more) That was wonderful! You know, we were just wondering why couldn't you come with us to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard of Oz for a heart.

Tin Man: Well, suppose the Wizard wouldn't give me one when we got there.

Mark: Oh, but he will! He must! We've come such a long way already.

The Wicked Warlock of the West cackles madly as he stands on the roof of the cabin.

Wicked Warlock of the West: You call that long? Why, you've just begun! Helping the little boy along, are you, my fine gentlemen? Well, stay away from him (To Scarecrow) or I'll stuff a mattress with you! (To Tin Man) And you! I'll use you for a beehive! Here, Scarecrow. Wanna play ball?

The warlock throws down a ball of fire to the ground which sets it on fire.

Scarecrow: Fire! I'm burning! I'm burning!

Mark screams in fright and Tin Man quickly puts out the fire with his funnel cap. The warlock cackles then he disappeared behind a cloud of red smoke.

Scarecrow: I'm not afraid of him. I'll see you get safely to the Wizard, whether I get a brain or not! (Insulted) Stuff a mattress with me! (Scoffs)

Tin Man: I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I get a heart or not. (Insulted) Beehive! Bah! Let him try and make a beehive out of me! (He snaps his fingers.)

Mark: Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had. And it's funny, but I feel as if I've known you all the time. But I couldn't have, could I?

Scarecrow: I don't see how. You weren't around when I was stuffed and sewn together, were you?

Tin Man: And I was standing over there rusting for the longest time.

Mark: Still, I wish I could remember. But I guess it doesn't matter anyway. We know each other now don't we?

Scarecrow: That's right.

Tin Man: We do.

Scarecrow: To Oz?

Tin Man: To Oz!

Mark, Scarecrow and Tin Man: (Singing together) We're off to see the wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Oz. We hear he is a whiz of a wiz, If ever a wiz there was. If ever, oh ever a wiz there was, The Wizard of Oz is one because. Because, because, because, Because, because. Because of the wonderful things he does. We're off to see the wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Mark, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Toto continue their journey to the Emerald City and they enter a thick forest.