don't blame me

black out days

He was here.

He was still here.

Do Hana had never felt more relief than she did at that exact moment.

So Mun was soaked with his hair in thick wet strands. He was standing near the edge of the roof, staring at Jungjin completely. His body was tense to the point that she knew he heard her slamming open the door.

As he finally turned towards her, she saw a flash of emotion show on his face before falling from his face in an instant. Almost as if the rain had washed his feelings away.

"Mun, you're still here." Hana exclaimed, relieved.

What broke her heart was the blank expression he gave her.

Empty, almost like a shell of himself had presented itself before her.

She couldn't even recognize him like this.

If she hadn't felt that violent flutter in her chest at the sight of him, she wouldn't have been able to believe this was the same boy.

The same boy who wouldn't stop smiling at her.

The same boy who always cracked jokes or poorly attempted to flirt with her.

"I need to go, Noona." So Mun finally responded, quiet as if he hoped the wind would carry his words away.

He started walking towards her, but as if she didn't even exist at that moment, he brushed past her.

Hana grabbed his wrist tightly, as he passed by, not willing to let go.

As if it couldn't get worse, So Mun responded most shockingly.

He flinched.

He flinched at her touch.

Sure, he had avoided her touch before. Sometimes he even ignored it. But flinching was something he never did, not with her. Never with her.

"So Mun, why did you flinch?" She asked worriedly.

So Mun didn't respond to that.

"Stop ignoring me, Mun. Talk to me." She pleaded.

"Let go of me, Noona." He replied.

"I'm not letting you go. I can't let you leave, not alone. You'll die if you fight those spirits by yourself." Hana yelled.

"That's a sacrifice I have to make." Mun said, still quiet.

She couldn't handle this.

She couldn't handle his quietness in the face of death. Him, so carefully resigned to his own death.

As if he never even mattered.

As if he wasn't a person.

As if he was just a pawn on the board meant to be sacrificed.

"I won't let you." Hana said, stepping in front of him, blocking the doorway from his view. She widened her stance and stretched her arms out, only looking him in the eye.

"You have to, Noona." Mun tried to sidestep her, but she continued to block him. His eyes kept a steady gaze at the blocked doorway.

God, why wouldn't he even look at her?

At this point, the rain had completely soaked through both of their clothes.

Yet, she ignored the rain pounding down her back or the freezing air chilling her veins.

As a final resort, Hana used her telekinesis to push So Mun backward a few feet.

Normally, her attacks would barely make an impact. But now, it seemed he was so defeated that she could have stuck a knife in him and he wouldn't even resist.