Lost Angels

Endless Night

Throwback 2/2

Madeline's POV

Physical pain is visible and can be treated, but heart pain is invisible and incurable.

It may fade with time, but it never goes away.

My eyes were so blurred with tears that I could hardly see.
But when I reached my street, I saw flashing red and blue lights in my front yard.

The shock made my ears ring and all I remember is running and screaming, trying to get into my house.

I collapsed and cried out all my pain and suffering as I saw the stretcher pass by with my father's body covered with a white sheet.

A fireman took me to his truck to sit down and tried to calm me down.

M: " What..happened..." I sob.

Firefighter: " This is already hard for you. No need to have more details..."

M: " Please..I need to know.." I clutch onto his jacket.

He looked at me, his eyes full of sadness, and let out a long sigh.

Firefighter: " He..he hanged himself in his room.."

I shouldn't have asked...
I'm even more heartbroken than I was 5 minutes ago.
My crying became uncontrollable again.

The fireman wrapped a warm blanket around me and I collapsed into his arms.
He gently patted my back and told me that everything would be okay.
That the pain would go away in time and that I should get on with my life...

That's exactly what my dad told me when Mom left us...

It was getting harder and harder to breathe, from crying so much.

Everyone is leaving me...my mom...Adam...and now my dad...

How can I live with that ?

A policeman came up to me and asked who he should call to take care of me.
I gave him the number of my Aunt June, my mother's sister, who lives in the next state.

She arrived 2 hours later and threw herself into my arms.

We slept at a hotel that night. Just long enough for the police to investigate, even though they already knew it was a suicide.

After my shower, I layed down on the bed, looking at the ceiling.
My aunt came back, with a bag of food.

June: " Hey sweetie. "

I looked at her and started crying again.

She came to my bed, hugged me and cried with me.

June: " My poor baby." She held me close.
" I promise to be with you all the way. I love you so much ! " She cupped my face in her hands and kissed my forehead.

The next morning, she received a call from the coroner.
He confirmed that my father's autopsy was indeed a suicide.

We gathered our things and went back to my house.

The funeral was 4 days later and it was the longest, most painful day of my life.

Tara and Adam were there.

I avoided Adam the whole day and I think he understood.

Tara: " Tell me if you need anything babe ! I'm here for you any time of the day or night, "

M: " I know...thank you for coming " I hug her tightly and she left.

Adam: " Madeline...I am so sorry...if I knew.."