✅ Younger Twin [NaNoWriMo2023]

27 - Taylor's Confessions

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I thought I'd left myself plenty of time to get to the church, but putting Tristan back to bed had consumed more time than I thought. And as I finally managed to find the majestic building, I was a little short of breath. I paused outside the huge doors, trying to catch my breath a little before I walked inside. Somehow it was a little intimidating to imagine the eyes of so many people on me because of my lateness. But I'd never been one to back down in the face of a challenge, and fear of opposition only made me more determined to do the right thing.

The sermon today was on the subject of family, and the importance of sticking together. It was very different from similar lectures we might have received when we were younger, though. There was no talk of eternal punishment for those who didn't respect their elders and do what they were told; instead this pastor focused on how it was the duty of everyone to help their family, and how we should all do our best to help those around us have a happy life together. Not just serving those older than us, but helping the younger ones to learn, and putting in the effort to make our friendships last.

It seemed kind of poetic to me at that point. Here, the pastor was telling me exactly the lessons that I'd been stumbling over in the last week or two. To my surprise, he even mentioned that not all families have the same shape; it doesn't need to be a traditional family, whatever that might have meant at any point in history. And when I projected those words onto my own situation, I thought that it described us perfectly. Our family was certainly not ordinary, and didn't fit together in the way many others did; but it was still a family, and still worth treasuring.

After the sermon was over, I took the time to stand and walk between the rows of chairs to the front of the church. Some of the older women had come forward to thank the priest for his wisdom; following traditions that seemed to have been obeyed for so long that they would be second nature by now. And behind them, people milled around, making small talk and strengthening the community ties between all the members of the church. This time, perhaps, I could find a chance to join in the chatter; if I just knew what I could say to a stranger. I managed a couple of mumbles, talking to women in very serious hats, and introduced myself to everyone who showed some interest. It didn't seem there was anyone here who lived on the same street as us, but it was still good to make friends who could help me get used to this place.

"You're not here with your family?" One lady asked, staring down at me as if daring me to make some mistake. "Where's your mother, girl?"

I knew that I was supposed to be soft and deferential, listening to the wisdom of my elders. But at the same time, her expression and tone were ones that I'd seen so many times before, back when we were still young. The kind of judgement that had driven my sister away from the church. I took a deep breath and tried to think of a suitably terse response, because this was a conversation I already knew I didn't want to be having. There were tensions here, behind the scenes, and I didn't have the first clue how to deal with it.

"Well? Why aren't your parents here to teach you how to behave?"

I tried to keep calm. I didn't want this kind of confrontation, but there wasn't any kind of right answer I could give. Everything I'd been taught said that it was a mother's duty to raise her daughters in the ways of the church; and of course no child would come here alone. Except me. Was Mrs Mattheson my mother, as far as the church was concerned? Or should I say that my family was dead? But just being here was highly emotional for me; I was terrified of not fitting in, and I felt frozen under that stare.