✅ Younger Twin [NaNoWriMo2023]

19 - Challenging Taylor's Faith

This bonus chapter is dedicated to realliljennie, with thanks for all your support! And sorry for the delayed chapter; I fell asleep in front of the computer last night when I should have been publishing it.

I woke up on Saturday morning and sat bolt upright. I knew right away that something was different; all the nervous anticipation from last night had been preying on my mind, so much that I could feel the anxiety like a jolt of electricity in my veins even before I was awake enough to know what had prompted it.

I swung my feet out of bed, stood up, and felt just a moment of dizziness. I was awake, and I knew that I had to be awake, but that didn't mean I was any less drained after yet another sleepless night. I wasn't going to let that stop me, though. I was doing what I knew I should be doing, and ignoring anyone else's objections.

Probably the biggest surprise was that nobody had actually tried to stand in my way. Since I'd told Triana, we'd probably had a total of less than five minutes to chat without the possibility of Nik's appearance depressing her apparent intellect to below basic competence. But I'd told her; and she hadn't said anything to stop me. All I'd had was a look of confusion, like she didn't really understand, and wishes of good luck. She said that she supported me, whatever I decided. And Mum had said the same. That had been a real boost to my confidence, even if it still felt strange that they would be so accepting. My imagination had presented me with dozens of ways I would have to fight through hostility and disapproval to make this happen, and all the support felt somehow anticlimactic.

I pushed myself to stop dwelling on all of those issues and actually get dressed. Perhaps I was taking it way too seriously. Serious underwear, even; plain white and as conventional as can be. A long pleated skirt, and a neatly pressed whiite blouse. Simple and traditional, nothing that anyone could ever find fault with. And a charcoal grey jacket, matching the skirt. I had a small poppy pinned onto my lapel, which I'd seen many older women wear. I really hoped that I wouldn't stand out, and that I would be accepted.

It felt really strange now that I was worrying if those people would accept me. They were supposed to be understanding and forgiving, but I knew that not every person would live up to the standards the group claimed to embody.

"You're up early," Dad said as I bounded down the stairs. He was sitting in his armchair, reading what looked like a newspaper. I'd never seen him to that before, and for a second I did a double take. But of course, I didn't really know what his routine was for Saturday morning. Last week, everything had been up in the air because our arrival had scrambled everybody's plans. So maybe this was his own weekly routine. I wondered if he worked on Saturdays; sometimes or regularly. That was something that had felt like it wasn't my place to ask, and I still wasn't sure if it mattered to me. I could be sure that at least one of our parents would be home to look after Nik and Triana; and beyond that, it wasn't anything I needed to know.

"Not up yet," I said, fighting against the fatigue from the last week of barely sleeping. I poured myself a coffee, with lots of milk and sugar, and started sipping it while pacing around the kitchen in the hope that it would somehow help me to feel awake. "Give me a few minutes."

"Bad night?" he asked. I nodded, but with the kind of half-hearted lethargy that I wasn't sure he could get anything at all from my answer. "Okay. Well, if there's anything we can do to help please let me know. We'll do our best to make sure you are comfortable, you know?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, and then turned to the fridge to see what was available for a breakfast bagel. Thin strips of salmon again, it seemed, and there was some rocket that probably wouldn't survive until dinner time. I added a dash of hot sauce, because it seemed that right now my taste buds were making everything unnecessarily bland. Was that something that happened when you weren't completely awake? I wasn't sure, but I decided that OI was going to look it up later if I remembered.