ETERNAL SOUL || tom kaulitz & y/n

pouring out.

• 𝟤𝟢𝟢𝟥 •
𝖳𝗈𝗆𝗌 𝗉𝗈𝗏．

a few hours ago y/n came by, she had blood on her sleeves and hands. she looked terrible. i felt so bad for her, i was just stuck and frozen. seeing her made my heart beat faster. tho she looked like she had fear and freedom in her eyes. almost as if she was planning something. she didn't have that spark, the spark i loved so much. she said some things but i didn't bother listening until she came up to me and "tightly" hugged me, honestly i hugged her back even tighter and i got scared, i barely felt skin, and i never felt this with her, like that last time i hugged around 2-3 years ago, my arms obviously could hug her but she was more normal weight now she was.. underweight.? it scared me. her makeup was messy, her eyes were puffy, she was very pale, also like a sheet of white, she was never like this, she smelt like cigarettes even tho she swore she will never smoke, she also had an alcoholic smell on her, but i could still smell her vanilla and strawberries. but she wasn't the same anymore. some thing changed, something but i don't know what. after she let go she hugged the rest and that's when i noticed georg, he was balling his eyes out, close to being hysterical. i never seen him like this. everyone hugged him and consoled him but i was confused, why was he like this? why was he crying? wait why is everyone crying? after around 10 minutes the producers came in saying to go. i could tell that michelle had started to cry, everyone was close to the producers if i'm honest, we were like a mini family. "guys, i don't think y/n is okay. she made a joke earlier" michelle said before she choked on tears. "michelle, what did she joke about.?" i asked, my mouth becoming dry. i don't cry, i swear, only the time when my parents divorced, i don't cry. but now, tears were swelling in my eyes. drastically my brother came up to me and hugged me tight. really tight. it's the first time he's ever hugged me like that. before he could say anything michelle said "her joke it, it was about her health. i-i asked her if she was okay and she replied saying "i'm okay but not mentally" and that's when i looked at her arms, there's something wrong. IM TELLING YOU" michelle blurted out. that's it. my head started spinning, tears started spilling, mouth started shaking. i dropped to my knees. so did bill. i had a gut feeling and didn't do anything about it. how stupid could i be, why didn't i just ask her the question?

• 𝟤𝟢𝟢𝟧 • bills pov

ever since y/n "disappeared" no one was the same. especially tom. he always smokes now. gets high and cries and that man does not cry. he has one night stands all the time, completely ghosts us for days like y/n and he drinks now. drinks until he passes out and the throws up just to drink again. i always knew about his little crush for her i mean it was obvious. but we are now famous. i didn't tell this to tom but recently in our concert during tour. i think i saw y/n. no. i know i did. it looked exactly like her just healthier and not as if she's done drugs. and she was happy. and i made eye contact with her and she smiled and waved. she has that same smile and tom loved. ofcourse he didn't notice her but i did and i think it was a sign she was okay! i honestly hope she is. she hasn't reached out to us. no one knows where she is, what's she's doing, how's she's doing but she only texted us once saying "please stop texting me." and that was years ago. i honestly don't think she disappeared i think she ran away. that day where she came to the studio and left tom went to his case and found the note. honestly it was horrible. georg went hysterical with tom after reading it. me and gustav hugged and cried. she was like my sister..? she always cared for us and loved all of us. and yes of course i know about her crush on tom. they were the cutest. i miss her. i wish i could just hug her and text her but she changed her number and i know tom wants to do the same. aswell as everyone else. georg moved out and took the things that y/n left. they weren't anything special just some bracelets and some other things. maybe some day she can text us again. or maybe even meet us. i might try stalk her even like on social media yk?.

𝟥𝗋𝖽 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗉𝗈𝗏

bill decided to check up on tom as he hadn't seen him in a while. bill went upstairs and got closer to toms door. he could hear faint muffles as if he was crying. bill immediately went to toms room knowing if toms crying he's gonna make a stupid decision. he knocked and came in. immediately he saw tom hugging something while sobbing. swaying side to side mumbling "i just miss you so much" or "come back" even "why did you leave me?" it wasn't the first thing me this happened and bill started to tear up. tom always thought it was his fault. he was drained. mentally and physically. bill noticed that now he dosent have that spark and energy he used to have. he isn't the same. this made him to be the worst ever. maybe he needed to find her faster.

"tom, tom your okay. your fine. it isn't your fault. non of this is. she will come back. i promise." bill said going up to hug tom tightly. tom only balled his eyes out harder. he wasn't in the mindset he normally was. before bill knew it tom left. he got out of his grip and left. left the house. he didn't know where he was going and was scared. he was never like this.

𝖳𝗈𝗆𝗌 𝗉𝗈𝗏

"y/n come back please" i whispered while looking up at my ceiling. i was close to loosing it. the girl i loved so much "disappeared" more like ran away. got raped and i didn't do anything about it. i knew. always knew. she was never okay. ever since that day. i just want her in my arms. and i saw her at the concert. i just know it and i know bill did aswell. it was the same smile and wave same everything. and oh boy did i look at her. she definitely looked healthier but surely still smokes i can tell. i mean it was noticeable seeing the cigarette packet. she was front row. and it was like she knew we would become famous. i have a feeling she's supporting us. but i also know this changed me in the worst way possible. i can't control my temper anymore. i cry everyday. i smoke alot. and i drink until i pass out. throw up then drink more. i get mad easily. and i fuck alot of girls. people don't know what happened and just think that it's my personality being a "fuck boy". that one probably hurt me aswell. despite being famous i have a little name "tommy" every fan that was a girl called me that. and it irritates me, the whole reason why if being y/n called me that. and i don't even know how or why people called me that. honestly georg hasn't been the same aswell. he loved his little sister so much and now she's gone and he never asked her about. he got over her a while ago but i haven't!

after that little fight with bill i completely burst and left the house. i knew exactly where i was going. when y/n was here there was a  forest. it was near her old house and she kind off lived further away then town. maybe like 5-10 minutes but the forest was like 5 minutes further. that forest wasn't small let me tell you but there was the spot where me and y/n went and had our first smoke there and maybe a little kiss. i still think about it and i obviously knew she went there all the time.

to be continued!!!