Ones Ignored

Chapter 21 | "Ivory please give me a moment"

I follow Jameson into his tent to find him looking at a wall — well wall of the tent. I'm about to ask him what he was doing when he places his hands on the hem of his shirt and starts to pull it up. "Oh", I whisper. I should go, I shouldn't be in here if he was changing. I'm about to turn back when I hear soft groans, ones that sound like they are from pain. The sounds gets louder, into a low whimper and I turn back to find Jameson pulling the shirt over his shoulder.

Oh my God, I'm thinking as I stare at his back. All of his muscles move as he pulls the shirt over his head. Only I'm not focused on the muscles now, I'm focused on the lines on his back. Lines that were long and dark. There were a few that were lighter, light enough that the skin around it is red.

"Jameson", I choke out his name but he doesn't seem to hear me. His hand holding the shirt fiddles at his side and he is still staring at the blank wall of the tent. I move closer to him and one of my hands move to the skin on his back. My touch is feather light and yet I can feel him. He feels rough under my skin, like the skin was bruised and cut a lot of times over the years.

I'm about to touch a newer scar when he turns around abruptly and his hand captures my wrist in a grip that isn't strong but also makes me flinch. Jameson's chest is met with my face now and I look up to find his eyes piercing into mine. "What are you doing here?", he asks, his voice low and all of it coming from the throat. I only continue to stare at him because I'm speechless. I don't know what to say.

After a few blinks, I come up with something, "What's on your back?"

He lets go of my wrist and drops it down at my side. Pulling away from me he turns back around in a haste movement to grab another shirt. Only I get to see his back more now and I get to hear his whimpers as he attempts to put his shirt on. I can see how hard of a time he is having, I can hear how much this pains him. His scars are fresh enough to still hurt and I was betting that the water on it didn't help.

"Who hurt you?", I whisper to him but he ignores me, pulling the shirt over his back and turning to me. He doesn't look at me when he speaks. "Leave."

"Um", I falter, I'm not sure I want to leave him here with his own scars. I want to know what happened. I want to know who hurt him bad enough for him to whimper while doing such an easy task as putting on a shirt. I want to ask him all of these questions. I want him to open up and share with me.

"Jameson, what happened?", I ask him again but he doesn't look at me. He stares at the opening of the tent that flaps in the wind time to time. His jaw is clenched and I can practically hear everytime he undoes it and does it again. Jameson is angry but above all, he is hurting. He is hurting and I don't want to leave him.

"Leave", he whispers this time, his voice cracking at the one syllable word. I move forward and place on his arm, but he jerks away from me so fast, his body collides with the tent. He places a hand on the floor to steady himself and says,"Please leave."

"Look at me", I say to him, wanting him to at least look at me if he was going to kick me out. He doesn't and I say,"Why are you hiding? Tell me what it is that is haunting you." Share your story with me so I can help you. Don't go through this on your own because you think that's the correct solution.

"Please go for now", he says a little louder, ignoring my questions. "You'll sleep in here, but go now please. I'm—"

"You're hurting", I interrupt him and I watch his hand at his side fist up. Only he unfists them and places it on the floor, palm down. Jameson deals with anger well, but what about pain? Did he know how to cope with that?

"Ivory please give me a moment", he whispers to me and the desperation in his voice makes me nod and move toward the exit of the tent. I get out and before I could leave fully, I turn back to find him staring at a wall again. He was hurting but he didn't want me there, so I'll have to respect that.