Ones Ignored

Chapter 42 | A plan that is costing him life in prison

It has been a rough couple of months.

Kennedy had sent her sketch in and the guy that they found was so similar to the guy who raped me that I didn't even hesitate to say yes when identifying him. The story was true— he lives in a group home and every time that Jameson's father wanted him to do his crime for him he signed him out and took him for the weekend. The first time the guy— Angelo Ren— was just a few days shy of turning thirteen. The first day Angelo didn't commit a crime, Jameson's father took him to a park where he talked to him like he was a mentor.

He was a mentor offering Angelo a good life, a life full of happiness. Angelo would get money after his sessions with Jameson's dad. The first few months were this way. Jameson's father took the little kid under his wing. Angelo was so excited for this that he even hugged him one time. 

After those months, things took a different turn. Jameson's father took Angelo to a campground nearby and told him they would be learning different things. It started out small— fishing, how to build a fire, how to get a pretty girl to notice you. But then there came the bigger things— how to grab a girl, make her take an interest to you, how to hold her still while you obliterate her every right. According to the first victim who is just about my age, Angelo was crying when he was on top of her. 

He was screaming at Jameson's father that this wasn't right, that he wanted to back down, that he didn't want the money. Money shouldn't be earned in this way. In the way of making girls cry. Angelo wiped the victim's face, so tender that the girl was so confused for a moment. She describes that Angelo was instructed to be rough with her only he wasn't. His body was but he kept a hand on her face the whole time, looking at her in the eye. It was both frightening and yet a little comforting. 

Since the first time, Angelo had been taking against his will from the group home to wherever Jameson's father thought was fit. Angelo was instructed to rape girls whoever Jameson's father thought was fit. It was disturbing and Angelo was a puppet. A mere puppet playing at a greater game. A game orchestrated by a man older than him, a man with money and power. 

The trial had started last week and today is my day to go to court and talk about my experience. I have to talk about both Jameson's father and Angelo Ren. This was my first time going to court after my parents very brief divorce. I was scared to go up again.

Jameson was in my room watching me get ready. My dad had sent him up here a while ago and usually my makeup takes less than thirty minutes to do but today it was taking so long. Jameson comes up behind me and slips a hand onto my wrist stopping me. "You're shaking", he whispers. I usually shake when I am nervous. I wake up shaking from my nightmares. Now, my nightmares do not come as often but when they do, they hit hard. 

I wake up screaming for help. I'm not sure from who or who I am calling out for, but I do. It's a very hard times. At times I just stay sitting on my bed waiting for the hurt to pass. Waiting for it to subside so I can go back to being happy again.

Trauma does that to you; at first you feel the pain—so hard and so raw— but then you don't feel it anymore. It passes and you are left with that content feeling you were feeling earlier. Only it's not content— you are supposed to feel happy at all times. But when you deal with such a strong feeling, it is best to bargain for what you can have. 

Now I have nightmares only about twice a week and I do not complain about it. This was better than the nightmares I used to have every night. I take what I can get.

I shake out my hand from his grip and say, "I'm fine."

Jameson lets out a sad and tired sigh and places three fingers on my face. He runs them up my cheekbones and then stops at my high point. "Ivory, don't be scared."