stray kids as littles

CHAPTER 1 - Felix

----- = Time change/pov change

*** = flashback
Italics = someone thinking

Tw: mentions of c!tting, mentions of r@pe, bullying

Felix found out he was a little about seven years ago when he slipped in front of his mother. It made sense, he had such a traumatic childhood. A traumatic life at that. Everyone who knew about his little space had left him except for his mother. They were all disgusted by the idea of him being little, except for his mother.

So it wasn't much of a suprise that he tried to get rid of it. He tried to hide his little side from the world, tried to make it disappear. He had even thrown away all of his little stuff which didn't help at a time like this.

You see, felix was in a band. As they got bigger, the stress of the job got worse which caused his little self, "lixxie," to want to come out more. Which is when he threw away his little stuff. He had let himself slip before when he was in the group (like after he got kicked out for a little bit of time). However, with how many times he almost got caught, he stopped. And it was making him miserable. But what other choice did he have? He was cursed, and if they found out about it they would hate him. He knows they would. Right?

So instead of allowing himself to be little, he resorted to c!tting and isolating himself. Of course the other members noticed his absence, how could they not? He loved to cuddle them and was their sunshine. He never stayed in his room as long as he has been lately. Usually he would never be in his room, or if he was it was with someone else. But lately he's been staying in his bed all day with his door locked so the members couldn't check on him. They had tried to get him to talk for weeks now and nothing was working. They wanted their sunshine back but they didn't know how to get it.

Anyways, due to all this stress and pain, he's been more prone to slipping. And everytime lixxie tried to come out, felix would give himself a deep c!t (or more if needed). Lixxie didn't like when felix was hurt, he hated it. So he would try and pry himself to the surface (which rarely worked) but that resulted in felix c!utting again.

Today was one of those days however. Felix had been close to his headspace several times today so he didn't even go out of his room to get something to eat at all. If the members find out about my little space they'll kick me out of the group. I have to keep quiet.

Eventually, felix gave up his stubbornness and allowed himself to slip. There's no way they could know right? He has his door closed and locked. Or so he thought.

Once he fully regresses he pouts angirly "wan' pway... but has none to pway wit..." lixxie frowns and gets up, deciding to go to another room to find something to play with. To his surprise, the door was unlocked so he decided to roam around. channies room would be a good idea! He thought as he trotted slowly over to his room. He remembered that there was one time where he got to explore all of their rooms because he was the only one there. He played with Chan's plushies that night. Thank god he didn't get caught.

Once he went inside he quickly ran to the bed, picking up the baby chick plushie and babbling to it. He was too engrossed in the plushie to notice Chan was talking to him. "Do you like the plushie lix? You can have it if you want." Lixxie gasps and flinches, scooting away from the older and tearing up.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Don't cry lix, what's wrong?" Chan goes over to lixxie. "scway..."

"What? Lix why are you talking like that?" chan chuckles softly and sits next to him. Lixxie starts crying harder, worrying the older further "I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you felix."

"yesh yous were..." lixxie sobs, hugging the plushie tightly and turning away from chan. "jus wike felixies fwens..."

**********************************
"a-are you sure you want to see it...? I k-know it sounds weird... i-if you guys don't I u-understand I can just s-supress it..." felix whispers and looks at his friends nervously.