The Nympho Diaries

Oxytocin

Anxiety

The most familiar feeling that I experience when I see him. No matter how much I want to hate him, I still feel some sort of excitement when he's around or when he calls. I get anxious just thinking about him and I'm still trying to figure out how to get over it. Do I want to get over it? 

I am currently sitting in the hospital lobby, waiting for word about my brother. 

My brother unfortunately couldn't help himself when it came to driving under the influence, so now he's currently in surgery. Yes, he had an accident but thankfully no one else got hurt. 

My leg bounces anxiously as I am also hyperaware of my surroundings. My ex-boyfriend Daniel is currently on shift and is waiting to escort individuals to see their loved ones. Yes, he works in the same godforsaken hospital that they brought my brother to. 

Life has a very funny way of reconnecting people from your past. I don't know if it's a test or a possibility to reconcile but I am having none of it. I've been ignoring his presence for about 2 hours but for some irritating reason, my hyperawareness is heightened as well as my arousal. I keep getting flashbacks to when we were together and how deviously hot the sex used to be. 

"How long are you going to ignore my presence?" The devil speaks now

I flex my jaw in irritation. There goes being discreet and pretending to not know him in public. 

"I'll stay here until the sun rises if I have to." He says with determination in his voice. 

I look up into his eyes and almost choke on my breath. He's just as attractive as I unreluctantly remember him to be. He was always rough around the edges but I saw the potential in him. I get annoyed at myself as I can't help but remember the last time I rode his face into oblivion. I came so hard that I was sobbing and shaking like a damn leaf. He held me for hours whispering how much he was thankful for me and how much he loved me. 

 I am here baby. I fucking love you so much. I need you. 

Bullshit. 

"Mr. McNeal" I almost sneer " What can I do for you this evening?" I give him a tight smile.

"We're back to last names now" He laughs "That's funny" 

He proceeds to sit next to me. His cologne invades my senses and I almost close my eyes to truly enjoy the scent. He's wearing my favorite. He always wore it to any date we went on. Our last date was for sushi, we drank way too many mojitos. I wore an orange dress which he tore off later. 

"Well Ms. Abby, I am a bit concerned for you as you've been here for about two hours and you haven't had a sip of water." He says matter-of-factly "I can also smell your anxiety from across the room so, I am here". 

My heart drops

I am here

The last thing he said before everything went up in flames.

"Are you even supposed to be speaking with me right now?" I ask looking around the lobby " I don't need your girlfriend coming to me woman to woman again like that time you brought her to my house" I grit 

"Ha." he breathes harshly " We've been over this." 

"Sure." I say annoyingly 

"I am here for you right now. I know about your brother and it's very hard to ignore you when you're pretty rattled like this" He explains 

"Well, my apologies. I will take my rattled-ness to the corner of the lobby" I say getting up

"Sit. Your. Ass. Back. Down" He seethes